Say what you will about him, Sam Jackson is a man who understands his appeal. When he’s not torturing reporters into saying n*gger or coming up with creative new uses for the word motherf*cker, he’s doing AMAs on Reddit. Okay, so lots of celebrities do Ask Me Anythings nowadays (and some don’t go so well, just ask Woody Harrelson). So that might not be so special. But how’s this for a charity auction?

(Posted by Jackson himself):

It’s simple, write 300 words and the most upvoted post I’ll read out loud in monologue form.

I’m doing this for one of my favorite non-profits, Alzheimer’s Society, as my family have been unfortunate enough to have been affected by the disease.

As a BONUS, I’m offering you all the chance to be flown to the UK for lunch with ME in return for just a tiny donation to this amazing cause. I’ll also sign a beloved Kangol hat and mail it to anyone that donates $200 or more!

Check it out at: www.prizeo.com/samuel

Let’s go muthaphukkas give me something interesting to say!!!!

It’s terrifying and wonderful anytime you let an online community like Reddit decide something. Unless the community is Yahoo, in which case it’s like letting a walrus choose the president. But I have high hopes that this process can produce the next Rebecca Martinson. Mainly because that cuss-mouthed cuntpunter is harder to get in touch with than the pope, but also because I like to read funny things.

Tom Hardy is already rich and famous and muscular with kind eyes and soft pillowy lips, so it’d be nice if he could bean a waiter with a cell phone over warm gazpacho or run over a cripple kid in his Ferrari, just to give girls the impression that being with a super handsome guy isn’t all rose petals and foot massages. But nooo, he has to go on a date with girl battling cancer, just because. You’re not fooling anyone, Hardy, you hunky sack of British shit.

YOUNG mum Kayleigh Duff had a dream date with film star Tom Hardy during a break from her cancer treatment.

Oh Jesus Christ, she’s a single mother too? You know how much volunteer work I’m going to have to do now?

The 23-year-old spent yesterday in London with the film star, who appeared in Inception and The Dark Knight Rises, as part of a surprise organised by her friend Katie Birch.
Meeting him was one of the items on a wish list she drew up after being diagnosed with the same rare and aggressive form of cancer that killed her father when she was just eight.
She appeared on ITV’s This Morning after the ‘wedding’ and Tom Hardy’s fiancee’s sister saw the item and contacted the show.
Kayleigh, of Wye Green, Herne Bay, said: “I nearly died when I saw him. I was shaking – I just thought we were having a day out in London.
“Tom’s fiancee Charlotte and Katie arranged it all without me knowing and he was so lovely and down to earth.
“We had lunch and tea and scones and he bought me a diamond necklace.”
The day out came during a break from Kayleigh’s treatment for the same rare and aggressive cancer that killed her father when she was just eight.
Her first course of chemotherapy made no difference to the tumours in her liver and she is due to start a different combination of chemo drugs in a few weeks.
But first she is jetting off to Florida for the holiday of a lifetime with son Kai – another item from her wish list, designed to make memories for Kai, two, and the rest of her family.
Many of the items are paid for by fundraising by her friends, and the next event is a photoshoot at the Abode hotel in Canterbury on Sunday, June 16. [CanterburyTimes, E!]

Nice friends you’ve got there, Kayleigh. Here’s to hoping you get some good news to go with the diamonds. (See how I avoided the obvious pearl necklace joke? Classy).

So, what do you guys think the age cut off is for the whole granting-wishes-for-the-terminally-ill thing? Because I’m hoping these asbestos cigarettes are going to catch up with me just in time to motorboat Eva Green, but I’m worried that no one grants wishes for 30-year-olds.

In case you were unaware, Robert Downey Jr. is pretty much the coolest guy on the face of the planet. At some point between Iron Man and now, he apparently just assumed the identity of Tony Stark and ran with it. Or maybe Tony Stark assumed RDJ’s identity. I’m not really sure, to be honest. But the point is that Downey is pretty f*cking cool. So cool, in fact, that when Iron Man 3 was being screened on Monday for teenagers who volunteered for relief in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, he showed up unannounced to watch with them.

Hey, why can’t I stop hugging my monitor?

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Here’s a video of Christian Bale talking about Batman with an 8-year-old leukemia patient named Zach. They chat for almost ten minutes, which is incredible. I can’t even make small talk with family members for that long.

“I don’t know if you can hear it in my voice, but I wasn’t born in America,” Bale said. “I was actually born in a country called England. A lot of people tell me that Seattle is a lot like England, because it’s kind of rainy.”
Bale thanked Zach for watching his films and said the boy embodied the film’s message. “The whole point of the movie is anybody can be Batman. Anybody can be as strong as that and help people and put good out into the world,” Bale said.
As Bale wrapped up the chat, he said he’d tell “the lady who plays Catwoman” (Anne Hathaway) — and, yes, even the man who played the evil Bane (Tom Hardy) — about their conversation.
“Even though he was not a good guy in the film, the man who played him is a very good guy. I’ll tell him…and the director as well,” Bale said. “He loves to hear when I speak to someone who is a big fan of the movies. It makes us all so happy.”
Bale ended the conversation by saying speaking with Zach had made his day. [THR]

Bale also tells Zach about his wife surprising him at the set dressed as Catwoman, and their cosplay sex life seems a little risque for a talk with an 8-year-old. But yes, Christian Bale is a good dude, and if you can make it through this whole video without tearing up a little I think you get a prize. What I want is to meet the five YouTube users who gave this a thumbs down on YouTube. Really, guy? You felt compelled to express your dislike of Christian Bale trying to cheer up an 8-year-old with leukemia? “Poor quality, shaky camera (why she doesn’t own tripod?). 2/10, would not watch again.”

Is it just me, or does Zach kind of look like the lead singer of Midnight Oil?

[ZachAttacksLeukemia, THR]