OPENING THIS WEEKEND (trailers after the jump)

• Cats & Dogs 2: The Revenge of Kitty Galore
  “Kitty Galore?”  Really?  Didn’t “pussy” used to be an inoffensive way to say “cat?”  Anyway, it looks like a great movie to take your pussy kids to.

• Charlie St. Cloud
  It may be tracking just below 20% among top critics at Rotten Tomatoes and star Zac Efron as a sailing champion who plays baseball with his dead brother, but if you read my recreation of the plot using quotes from expository reviews and you aren’t at least a little bit curious, I don’t know what to tell you.  It sounds like the sailingest, most dead-brother-baseball film of the summer.  FAH GET YA SCHAWLASHIP TA STAN FUHD, CHAHLIE! THAT GOIL NEEDS YA HELP! LISTEN TO ME, CHAHLIE, I’M YA DEAD BROTHAH!

• Dinner for Schmucks
  The premise sounds terrible, it’s a remake, and the director has movies like Goldmember and Meet the Fockers on his resume (but also Meet the Parents and Recount).  But I don’t know how you go wrong with this solid a cast.  Steve Carell, Zach Galifianakis, Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords, Paul Rudd, Ron Livingston, BRUCE F*CKING GREENWOOD; hell, I’d watch these guys re-enact one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s salsa recipes.

Finally, if you see one movie this weekend, make it this week’s FilmDrunk Frotcast, with our interview of Rob Huebel and review of Olivia Munn’s book. …Okay, so maybe it’s not a movie.  But riddle me this: can you watch a movie while riding a unicycle, or doing squat thrusts?  I thought not.  Advantage: Frotcast.

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Over the weekend, Chris Nolan’s Inception held on to the top spot at the box office, beating out Angelina Jolie in skin tight outfits in Salt, but Leo DiCaprio and Co. shouldn’t get too comfortable at the top. This Friday, Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore hits theaters in – you guessed it – 3D action. To celebrate this sequel, nine years after the original, Warner Bros. held a special screening for dogs at the Empire Cinema in Leicester Square. Dogs, of course, are experts at pulling the popcorn trick on themselves.

The original Cats and Dogs grossed $200 million worldwide, and with FilmDrunk favorite Nick Nolte leading the voice cast on this live action romp, we should expect $200 million in liquor store robberies. Nolte is joined by James Marsden, Christina Applegate and a slew of other people you’ve heard of and would say, “Look at that guy getting work” if I listed all of them.

Tell us why this sequel is so special, studio press release via Variety:

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Anyone who covers the movie business knows that Hollywood is essentially like Lenny from Of Mice and Men: as soon as it finds a new play thing, it can’t help but pet it really hard until it dies and next thing you know its best friend is blowing the brains out of the front of its skull for being a retard.  Avatar earned two billion dollars, so now 3D is the retard’s mouse toy.

Stereo Pictures, a Korean company with an American branch led by former Warner execs, is converting “Cats and Dogs 2″ to 3D for July release.

Sure, why not?  That’s the kind of movie you basically blackmail parents into using their kids — why not find a way to charge them $5 more for it?

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