"Is my career in there?"

Paul Verhoeven’s 1997 classic, Starship Troopers, is either a brilliant satire of a terrible movie or a brilliantly terrible movie, depending on whom you ask. And while fans seemingly would have already gotten their fill of giant bugs and Jumpball from two direct-to-DVD sequels, Sony, along with Fast/Furious producer Neil Moritz, have decided it’s high time for a reboot of the franchise (that’s industry talk for a remake of the original that ignores the stories of the sequels). In related news, Casper Van Dien’s offer to suck your dick for a corndog still stands. “Please,” he said, “I’m so hungry…”

Moritz has assigned the script to screenwriters Ashley Edward Miller and Zack Stentz, who, among other things, wrote Thor and X-Men: First Class, as well as many episodes of the TV shows Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Fringe. Of course, they also wrote Agent Cody Banks. [Vulture]

How dare you! Anyone with half a brain knows that Agent Cody Banks was actually a scathing critique of the proto-fascist tendencies of the cloak and dagger milieu, NOT TO MENTION a frolicsome send up of the post-corporate, Malcolm in the Middle middle class. In any case, I think the choice for a new Johnny Rico is obvious: Kellen Lutz. Kellen Lutz is the Casper Van Dien of the post-post-9/11 era.

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Casper Van Dien is doing just fine.  He just cares about the kids is all.  He cares about them so much, in fact, that he was willing to put on his old Johnny Rico outfit from Starship Troopers and make this PSA about child abuse (and yes, this is an actual, recent PSA).  Because though he may play have played a guy who kills outer space bugs on the big screen 12 years ago, it’s the men and women who fight child abuse every day who are the real heroes.

You know, I think Casper might actually be using this as his audition for that movie Van Damme wants to do where he beats his kid.  Van Damme vs. Van Dien.  With the timeless themes of karate and child abuse.  Someone get on that.

[via /Film]

Casper Van Dien is back, baby!

Van Dien was once on the cusp of stardom.  That’s probably why he turned down Starship Troopers 2.  Sadly, he hasn’t been in a movie since 1999 (Sleepy Hollow).   But don’t fret, we’ll get to see him in the theater once again with Starship Troopers 3: Marauder.  What’s that, it’s going direct to DVD?  Oh well, bummer.

I’d still suck a dick to have his chin.  Wait, what? 

[Thanks to WD and Ohad (both of whom also have great chins)  for all the tips today] 

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