This is the new poster for Sex and the City 2, and while I always assumed all posters for this movie would be airbrushed beyond all recognition, I didn’t expect them to make Sarah Jessica Parker look so much like a middle-eastern dictator.  …That’s not the actual plot, is it?  Why do her sunglasses reflect the desert?  And why are they gold?  They have gold aviator shades now?  Maybe they’re actually blinders, to keep her from getting spooked and kicking one of the grips.  Haha, good one, Jay.

[via Moviefone]

(Why the long face?)

Get it, you guys?  The caption was a reference to Sarah Jessica Parker looking like a horse.  Haha, good one, Jay.  Anyway, this is the first picture of SJP in Sex and the City 2.  Clearly she’s looking off screen, licking her lips at the shirtless, 23-year-old Dominican landscaper who’s going to help her get her groove back, as soon as he finishes trimming her bushes.  Trimming her bush — it’s symbolically suggestive, you see.  And then Samantha comes in and she’s all, “Sweetie, you’ve really gotta do something about that old, dirty clam of yours,” and everyone laughs and starts dilling each other.  Chicks are weird.

[via HitFix.  Yeah, I don't know why I put that gif in there either.  I have a hangover.]

The hot rumor on the interwebs for a while was that the Sex and the City movie (trailer here) would kill off one of the show’s major characters.  According to the director, it won’t be Mr. Big.

"Kill Mr. Big? I would have been chased around the planet by women with torches," said Michael Patrick King, who also wrote the film and produced it along with its star, Sarah Jessica Parker.

"I did want an emotional roller-coaster," King said. "But my ultimate target was to make our ‘girlfriends’ — in other words, our audience — happy. And I don’t think Mr. Big dying would make them happy."

King went on to say that Samantha would discover a new variety of bon bons that make you younger, and Carrie’s aloof fuck-buddy will fall in love with her “because she’s so good at expressing herself and always says whatever pops into her head, no matter how trivial.”  

RopeofSilicon has this latest poster for the Sex and the City movie, and as you can see, it depicts Carrie Bradshaw being eaten by a lion.  Oh my God, he’s got her in his mouth!  Quick, somebody shoot it!

Courtesy of firstshowing, this is the latest poster for the Sex and the City movie – rumor has it, one of the characters dies in this one. The poster features Carrie Bradshaw in a cookie-monster-skin potato sack, participating in New York City’s latest tourism campaign; New York: The streets are fuckin’ tilted here.

I must say, they did a superb job on the Photoshopping.  I’m gonna find out who made this and hire them to retouch the pictures of my penis I’ve been posting on Match.com.  Nothing says boyfriend material like a closeup of your dong, am I right ladies?   

(I’ve included the full-length trailer after the jump, if you’re into that.)