Later today you’ll be able check out this weekend’s movie guide, featuring all of those great movies that you’re looking forward to seeing by yourself, but one film that arrives in theaters today simply deserved its own post. Mardi Gras: Spring Break is the tale of three friends who decide to go on the craziest Spring Break in the history of mankind, because this movie needed to be made again. And again. And one more time for luck.

Mardi Gras stars Nicholas D’Agosto, who played that flying kid when “Heroes” started to suck, and Josh Gad, whose IMDb profile suggests that he is the recipient of all the roles that Jonah Hill stopped receiving, as two poon-starved friends who are joined by a third that I forgot to look up as they embark on their rites of manhood.

For three college guys, it’s senior year and the co-ed experience has left them high and dry. Their solution: A road trip to Mardi Gras, where beautiful babes are happy to lift their shirts and open containers are always welcome. But after dressing in drag, breaking into Carmen Electra’s hotel room, starring in a scandalous sex show and accidentally exploding a feces bomb in a swank hotel lobby, will the Mardi Gras magic kick in and their wildest fantasies come true?

(Via Movieweb)

When was this movie written? Did Dean Cameron and C. Thomas Howell bury this script in a time capsule with specific instructions for writer Josh Heald to not dig it up again until the world was ready for another glorious Spring Break adventure? And Carmen Electra plays herself. I would have guessed a grandmother.

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Kim Kardashian and Carmen Electra recently sat down for a CNN article called “Electra, Kardashian’s fitness and comedy tips.”  Because, as you can see, Kim Kardashian is a muscular comedian.

Q: What made you want to do “Disaster Movie”?
Kardashian: This is my first movie and I’ve just heard that Jason and Aaron are the most amazing directors to work with.

Translation: Free food.

Q: What tips do you have for people pursuing a life in front of the camera?
Kardashian: Just stay close to your family, because they’re the real-est people ever and they will help you not change and not fall into the trap of Hollywood and the lifestyle, because it’s really not that serious and not that important for what’s really going on in your life. … Your real life happens when you meet the one and start a family and are just with your family.

Kardashian later added, “It also helps to film yourself getting boned.  So I’ve heard.”

After the jump I’ve got video of Carmen Electra putting clothes on (sort of) just long enough to introduce a new clip from Disaster Movie, in which she wrestles Kim Kardashian and does other stuff that hilariously references pop culture.  Now, I know that when you’re a 36-year-old former Playmate with little acting experience, you’re probably not getting offered the best roles.   You probably want to cash in in the next few years while people still care about seeing you naked.  But Carmen, being in a Seltzer-Friedberg joint is just embarrassing.  It’s degrading, it’s harmful to your career, and in the end, probably doesn’t make you that much money. 

I have a much better idea: we get you, me, a video camera, and 10 midgets to come on your face while I film it.  We’ll call it Carmen Electra’s Midget Bukakke Boogaloo and sell DVDs on late night television between Girls Gone Wild spots.  We’ll split the profits 70-30 (after all, my reputation is on the line here). I’m telling you babe, this is your retirement plan. 

Variety reports that Screen Gems’ comedy, Maxim’s Mardi Gras (Screen Gems and Maxim are like the one-two punch of surefire turdery for those keeping score at home) will begin production this spring.

Josh Heald’s script follows three best friends who take off for Mardi Gras in search of a real party and find what they are looking for [Ed Note – well isn’t that nice for them]. Pic will star Nicholas D’Agosto ("Rocket Science"), Josh Gad, Brett Harrison, Arielle Kebbel, Danneel Haris, Carmen Electra, Regina Hall, and Becky and Jessica O’Donohue.

I’m sure this will be great.  After all, the screenwriter played "Terry the Air Marshall" in Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo and "Guy Slammed on Door" [sic] in Kimberly (aka Daddy Who?). 

Again, for those of you keeping score at home, Carmen Electra’s last five movies: Maxim’s Mardi Gras, Meet the Spartans, Christmas in Wonderland, I Want Candy, and Epic Movie.  Seriously, just suck cock on Hollywood Boulevard, it’d be less degrading.  …Don’t ask me how I know.