_{Car wheelies are the money shots of car porn}

Grease up your gearshift, sailor, because I’ve got a brand new 4 Fast 4 Furious clip after the jump.  This one focuses mainly on… uh… the GPS system?  Seriously, this sh-t is weird.  I’d be all for a stupid movie about cars and car racing, but this isn’t even well made.  70% of this clip is made up of shots of Vin Diesel and Paul Walker looking constipated or closeups of their feet pressing the pedals or their hands shifting.  So exciting!  And the one crash they do show looks like it was filmed at about 10 miles per hour. Reached for comment, director Justin Lin said, “Don’t screech the tires! I have to take those back to Costco later!”
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The chisel is for Vin’s biceps

LatinoReview recently came back from a visit to the set of 4 Fast 4 Fourious with a bunch of new pictures and a fresh perspective on the film.

“YES! You see the bad ass cars!
YES! You see the bad ass bitches!
YES! You see the bad ass romance!
AND YES LADIES! You see Vin’s bad ass biceps! [LatinoReview]

YES! I LOVE SHIT THAT’S BAD ASS! SIGN ME THE F-CK UP YOU F-CKING PUSSIES!  But first tell me more about this bad ass romance.

HOMEBOY: Yo, girl, I f-ckin love your ass.  I bought you some flowers.  Are you ready or not?
HEINA: Dawg, you know you da only muthaf-cka for me, and that’s for real.  So take your best shot.
HOMEBOY: Tick tick tick tick…
HEINA: Yo, is that all you got?
HOMEBOY: PSYCH!  They’re XTREME FLOWERS!  And I didn’t buy them, I STOLE ‘EM!  From a plane I hijacked!  IN MID AIR!  I guess I could’ve waited till it landed, but that wouldn’t have been as XTREME!  And I wouldn’t have got the chance to test out MY NEW SKYSURFING BOARD!!!
[TOGETHER] OOOH WHAA-AA AA AA!

(xxtreeeme kissing until fade out)

[more pics at LatinoReview]

^{More like Mich-yell Rodriguez, am I right? High five? Anyone?}

The new 4 Fast 4 Furious trailer hit the web today (watch it below), and I’m definitely digging the parkour-y cholo chase scene.  Between people crashing through windows and watching Paul Walker try to act*, it’s pretty exciting.  From there, Soldja Boy plays, hoes get supermanned, and Vin Diesel and Hardcore Rodriguez come face to face with a flaming, out of control gas tanker.  Rodriguez is all, “Dom?  Dom?” and then Vin Diesel guns the engine and drives straight for it! Because the only way to escape an extreme situation is to… BE MORE EXTREME!!!  AND WHEN THE GOING GETS XXXTREME, THE XXXTREME GET… MORE XXXXXXTREEEEMER!!!!!  OOO WHA-AA AA AA!!!!

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Someone at Vodcars recently dug up George Lucas’ 1966 senior thesis film at USC (watch the video after the jump), a dialogue-free short called A Man and His Car or 1:42:08. It’s basically just some nicely edited footage of Australian racecar driver Peter Brock (who died in 2006) speeding his Lotus 23 around the track at Willow Springs Raceway outside Lancaster.  Lucas’ wikipedia page mentions him having a boner for cinema verité at the time, and it shows (the influence, not his actual boner).

It’s only eight minutes or so long, but it plays to all of Lucas’ strengths, namely, filming things that go vroom, rather than say, actual human interaction.  You really sense his passion for cars, which I suppose isn’t surprising when you consider that he sleeps in a racecar bed.  And the benefit of it being shot in 1966 is that he didn’t have the technology to add all those CG family-of-gophers reaction shots he wanted.
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Oi, ‘allo.  Jason fock’n Stafam ‘ere again.  ‘Scuse me whoile oy put moy fock’n pants back on, now innit.  Roighto den. So dis is da new fock’n traila fa moy new fock’n movie, Da Traspor’a Paht Free.  In dis one, oy’s gonna droive roun’ punchin’ fock’n blokes an’ taggin’ birds, now isn’ oy? Cuz dat’s wha’ oy fock’n do, now don’ oy?  In between fock’n transpor’erin’ fings a course.

Righto den, yeah.  So den in dis one, some cheeky cunt ‘as put a fock’n bomb roun’ moy fock’n wrist, anne sez ‘e’s gonna set it off if oy go more den 75 fock’n feet from da fock’n car.  Oi, ‘sa good fockin’ fing ‘e ain’t set da fock’n bomb on moy shir’, now don’ it?  Cuz oy’s oilways a good fock’n ways away from moy shir’ now doesn’ oy?  Anyway, as oy was sayin, oy can’t go very far away from da fock’n car, else da cunt’ll blow me oll ta shite.  Luckily, dey done fought of everyfing, and not only do oy get ta droive a flash shoiny bloody sazz wagon, day done put a fit bird roight dere inna fock’n car wif me.  Moighty fock’n convenien a dem, oy fought.  Dat way after oy’s done beatin a piss out a cunts, oy can go roight back to da fock’n car, an’ ‘ere’s a fock’n bird roight fock’n ‘ere. Oy, ‘howz abou’ a shag den, swee’art?  Roighto den.  Long story fock’n shor’, go see moy fock’n movie, ya cunts, cuz ovvawoise oy’s gonna roide moy bloody fock’n BMX boicycle roight up your fock’n backside, now isn’ oy.  An’ den oy’s gonna do a fousand fock’n pushups.  Cunts.