HAHAHA '69'

After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for Goon, the hockey enforcer movie starring Seann William Stifler. No, this isn’t the hockey enforcer movie Kevin Smith is directing (Hit Somebody), which might be confusing, because we’ve heard from people who’ve read Goon that they’re almost the same story, and because at one point, Seann William Scott was supposed to star in that too. It’s funny because I’ve never looked at Stifler and thought, “No one could play a hockey enforcer like this guy!”

Anyway, it’s kind of like Happy Madison for hockey:

Doug Glatt, (Seann William Scott) the black sheep of an illustrious medical family is working as a bouncer when he gets roped into going to a local hockey team’s game by his hockey fanatic pal, Pat (Jay Baruchel). When Pat incites the opposing team’s enforcer to climb out of the penalty box and into the audience after him, Doug steps in and to everyone’s surprise, especially the local team’s coach, quickly puts the player down.

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(Protesting dressed as a Na’avi is all fun and games until Quaritch shows up)

A coalition of environmental groups recently took out this full-page ad in Variety to protest Canada’s oil sands industry, which they call “Canada’s Avatar Sands.”  It reads in part:

Where indigenous Peoples in Canada are endangered by toxic pollution and future oil spills

Where Shell, Exxon, BP, and other Sky People are destroying a huge ancient forest.

Where giant Hell trucks are used to mine the most polluting, expensive unobtanium oil to feed America’s addiction.

JAMES CAMERON, WE SEE YOU

Oh I get it, the italics are stuff from the movie.  Anyway, Canada is the largest foreign oil supplier to the US, and environmentalists contend that oil sands, which make up half those exports, are damaging to the environment.  Meanwhile, the oil industry says it’s doing everything it can to help aboriginal communities and minimize environmental impact.  And besides, they say, how else is the U.S. going to break its dependence on oil from the Middle East, and those goddamned dirty gollums that live there?  This is isn’t f-cking Narnia.

(ad via HuffPo)

A supreme court judge in Canada, no doubt wearing a flannel robe and banging a gavel made of denim, has ruled that using a Happy Gilmore-style golf swing “breaches a duty of care” on the golf course.

In the case, the plaintiff sued after the defendant tried to impress his golfing buddies during a bachelor party outing that included beer, tequila, and marijuana. On the 16th hole, under the influence, Travis Hayter whipped out his “Happy Gilmore shot,” which the court defined in 2008 as “running from five to ten feet behind the ball and hitting it on the run.”

The ball leapt up and struck the plaintiff in the wrist, then in the chest, causing permanent damage to the radial nerve. The plaintiff no longer was able to return to his former work as a woodsman* on account of the incident. [THR]

A woodsman?  That’s a job? I thought that was what you call someone too drunk to get a job.  It’s still unknown whether the case will have legal implications in the U.S., but it’s going to set Canadian stereotypes back 30 years.  This is like a Mexican suing because he could no longer sleep under a giant sombrero and got laid off from the chihuahua farm.

*a “woodman”, meanwhile, is the common industry term for a male porn actor.

This video is 36 seconds of dark-as-hell-ness.  It’s currently entered in the Fantastic Fest 2009 competition by Nova Scotian Jason Eisener.  He’s the same guy who worked on the “Hobo with a Shotgun” [probably NSFW] trailer that screened during some showings of Grindhouse, mostly in Canada.  Instead of using this as an opportunity to take cheap shots at Canada, I am instead going to congratulate them on having theaters and electricity and health coverage.  Well done.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to read the instructions on this do-it-yourself angioplasty kit.

~ robopanda [Thanks to Teengoat for the link.]

Billy Bob Thornton went on Canadian radio the other day to talk about his band. But when the host had the audacity to mention that Billy Bob Thornton was also an actor and Oscar-winning screenwriter, the interview was basically over as far as Billy Bob was concerned.  But instead of saying what he was mad about, he simply chose to act really weird prior to the inevitable meltdown.  Here’s the exchange starting at 5:17 of the interview:

INTERVIEWER (Jian Ghomeshi): And that was true for you Billy Bob?  Sort of a combination of Stones and Monkees and buck Owens?

BILLY BOB: …I just liked baseball when I was a kid.

INT: …Heh. And you almost became a professional baseball player, right?

BILLY BOB: I dunno.  …Maybe.

INT: You didn’t love music when you were a kid?

BILLY BOB: Uh… Uh… I subscribed to a magazine called Famous Monsters of Film Land.  The publisher was guy named Forrest J. Ackerman, who passed away recently.

INT: Do you remember what you were listening to musically, when you were a kid?

BILLY BOB: They had a contest, where you could build your own model, and it could be like a King Kong, or it could be anything… they made these plastic models in those days, that you could buy and then put together.  But this was like a thing you could create your own world of it.  Make telephone poles and make the railroad tracks and everything.  And uh.. I actually did enter it once.  I didn’t win anything.  But I gave it a shot.  It was a big deal for us kids in those days.

INT: Uh… and uh, where was the music in all that?

BILLY BOB: Uh… music?  No, it was a monster magazine.

INT: …Right.  But given that you seem to be quite passionate about music, I was wondering about your-

BILLY BOB: Would you say that about Tom Petty? [6:55 of the video]

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