Here’s the trailer for Cabin in the Woods, directed by Cloverfield writer Drew Goddard, from a script by Goddard and Joss Whedon. It stars a pre-Thor Chris Hemsworth (the release was delayed because of MGM’s financial problems), and supposedly features Richard Jenkins, though he’s nowhere to be found in the trailer. Basically, some kids go out to a cabin in the woods, and yadda yadda yadda, they f*ck each other and get killed. A metaphor for humanity, really. It reminds me of those movies I used to watch on cable in the 80s and early 90s in order to see some boobs, only in this case, it looks like someone took out all the boob parts and cut together a film using just the boobless crap. Not even Chris Hemsworth shirtless? Jeez, these guys must be purists. “What if we made a cabin movie that was really about the CABIN, you know?”

I guess it will all come down to whether you respect wood. Do you respect wood?

Joss Whedon is famous for a whole slew of stuff I’ve never seen (Buffy, Dollhouse) so I’ve never had an opinion on him, other than that his name sounds like weird hybrid.  Joss?  Isn’t that like Ryanathan, or Markael?  Regardless, the posters for Cabin in the Woods, which Whedon co-wrote with director Drew Goddard, are sort of fun plays on old horror movie clichés, which seems to fit what we know about the movie so far:

The Cabin in the Woods provides a new twist on a classic scenario, in this case the young-people-stranded-in-the-woods horror trope. [Older guys] Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford will play white-collar co-workers with a mysterious connection to the cabin. [via ComingSoon]

The posters read: “If you hear a strange sound outside… have sex.”  “If an old man warns you not to go there… make fun of him.“  “If something is chasing you… split up.“  Get it?  It’s like bad advice.    Let’s try a few:

- If you’re chatting with a 10-year-old online and she says bring over some condoms and a twelve-pack… it’s your lucky day.
- If all else fails… they don’t.
- If your family tree only has one branch… you might be a redneck.
- If you like apples… how do you like them apples?

Crap, I don’t think I’m doing this right.

(Even in the future dads wear their pants too high and their cell phones on holsters)

Chris Hemsworth is the Australian soap opera (Home & Away) actor who played Captain Kirk’s father in Star Trek.  As of this weekend, he’s also Thor, and the lead in MGM’s remake of Red Dawn.  (And currently filming Joss Whedon’s Cabin in the Woods).

The way Chris Hemsworth got the part of Thor is one of those great Hollywood backstories that happens only once in a blue moon. [Agent William] Ward had found Chris during one of the manager’s many scouting trips to Australia. Ward brought him to Los Angeles and really put him out there to casting directors and production executives. As for the major agencies, I hear CAA passed on the meeting, Endeavor took it but passed on repping him, and ICM was interested but dragged their feet. But Ilene Feldman understood his appeal immediately.

Chris had read for the part of Thor but wasn’t given a test because a casting director had nixed him early on. I’m told Chris’ younger brother Liam (who’s also a ROAR client) then tested for the role of Thor, but Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige passed. Then, after a conversation with Ward (“You’ve got to reconsider Chris, he’s your guy”), Feige decided to let Chris read again. And once Marvel put him on tape, it was “Oh my god”. [Thor director Kenneth] Branagh came to town last week and saw the Chris test and made the final casting decision. [NikkiFinke]

So at first they said no, but then they said yes?  That is a great story!  It’s so nice to see 25-year-old, six-foot-three, Australian TV stars finally catch a break.