"Yo, girl, peep this chicken."

Ever since our good friend C-Tates caught the comedy bug in the Vince Vaughn-Kevin James *fart noise* film The Dilemma, he just can’t stop trying to make people laugh. For starters, he teamed up with Jonah Hill to star in the upcoming potential blockbuster 21 Jump Street, and he’s also taking the main stage at 30 Rock this weekend for his first ever hosting duties of “Saturday Night Live.”

That’s why it came as little surprise when his co-star in the drama The Vow, Rachel McAdams, told Stella magazine in a recent interview that Tatum is quite the goof ball on the set. You could almost say he’s the king of *stifles laughter* dicking around!

“Channing got the props department to make a prosthetic, um, member,” the actress, 33, tells U.K magazine Stella of filming the upcoming movie’s nude scene.

“Literally a fake penis. I didn’t know what to do – I thought, ‘Is that the real deal?’ It was very realistic. It was ridiculous, the scale of it!” (Via People)

First of all, I can only picture McAdams adorably blushing and covering her mouth as she said member instead of penis or flesh kabob. But more importantly, she is the worst storyteller ever. Okay, he made a giant prosthetic dong. So what the hell did he do with it? Did he slap your face with it like you were a naughty girl? Did he run around with it between his legs while chanting, “Tater ‘bater”? Way to sit on the details, Regina George.

Thankfully, I’ve always got the hot line to Tatum’s Boost Mobile, so I hit those digits and asked the man, the myth, the legend and the hardest twirkin’ playboy in show B1ZNA$TEE why exactly he gave away his giant rod.

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As we have often noted, FilmDrank favorite Channing Tatum is the hardest working man in show business because he keeps hammering out film after film, both as an actor and producer. After his latest critical turd, The Son of No One, flushes itself out of theaters, Tatum will be coming live and fresh with 21 Jump Street, Haywire and Magic Mike. The last two films, of course, were directed by Steven Soderbergh, who seems to have developed a little fondness for C-Tates as well.

The latest rumor has Tatum starring as Napoleon Solo in Soderbergh’s big screen adaptation of the classic TV series, “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.” The role was originally rumored to belong to People’s “Sexiest Man Alive,” me Bradley Cooper, but he has since detached himself, opening the door for Tatum. So what about the female roles? Who will C-Tates be getting his grind on with?

Two females being mentioned for parts have been Emily Blunt (who starred in “Wind Chill” by Gregory Jacobs, Soderbergh’s longtime producing partner) and Imogen Poots (from the Soderbergh executive produced “Solitary Man”), but there’s nothing concrete there yet. Potential female roles are the aforementioned civilian and Lisa Rogers, a female U.N.C.L.E. agent who appeared in the fourth season of the TV show.

(Via Indie Wire)

As always, there’s no point in speculating about the film when I can get the info straight from the horse’s mouf, our dear friend C-Tates…

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Not pictured: Gabourey Sidibe's trailer window.

Opening Everywhere: Tower Heist, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Opening Somewhere: The Son of No One

FilmDrunk Suggests: Are you kidding? TOWER HEIST! Did you read Vince’s review earlier? It’s the most unintentionally hilarious comedy since Ishtar. And of course we love Brett Ratner here. He’s the best tiny-donged crustacean jerker ever. Go see Tower Heist now.

Tower Heist

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 68% critics *cough, bullsh*t, cough*, 71% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“This is, of course, Hollywood schlock, directed by shlock-master Brett Ratner (Rush Hour). But it’s also a surprisingly effective social drama. Ratner keeps the action rooted to the here-and-now, offering a recession-times revenge fantasy where the motivations never feel fantastical, even if the heist itself does.” – Robert Levin, The Atlantic

“That proves a road way too traveled for Heist, whose finale suggests itself around the opening credits. Murphy’s lines play as conventionally humorous as Alda’s are conventionally loathsome.” – Scott Bowles, USA Today

Eddie Murphy is back in top form, reason alone to see Tower Heist, a highly entertaining and heartfelt action comedy that ought to steal more laughs [GET IT? LOL -Ed.] than any other film this holiday season. Because it doesn’t take itself too seriously or get too wrapped up in a convoluted plot, it’s actually more fun than Ocean’s 11, 12 and 13 added together. [...] With its old fashioned sensibilities and comic stunts, this crowd-pleaser is implausible if you stop to think about it—but who wants to think? -Pete Hammond, BoxOfficeMagazine

Armchair Analysis: What I love about the idea of this film is that millionaires are trying to pretend like they know how the disenfranchised minimum wagers feel. That’s why Levin’s little excerpt up there is a load of poopy. Like Brett Ratner really understands what the little people are going through when he wraps a film, has some Mexican guy drive him home in a stretch Hummer limo and then spends 20 minutes ordering hookers from a leather-bound catalog. If you’re a hotshot Hollywood director and you want to make a revenge film set against this economic turmoil? Have the IRS investigate the Kardashians and let them be deported to Armenia.

For the past few months, we’ve all lost sleep wondering whether a comedy actor like Jonah Hill could team up with a living legend and jack of all trades like Channing Tatum to resurrect the hit TV show that launched Richard Grieco’s career. Now we can wonder a little less. According to the new red band trailer for 21 Jump Street, Hill and C-Tates play two police academy cadets respectively struggling to pass the physical and academic standards required to become police officers. In fact, I can’t help but be reminded of the 1988 Best Picture winner Feds, starring Rebecca De Mornay and Mary Gross. They sure don’t make classics like they used to.

But I cede my remaining time to the honorable B Boy From ‘Bama, the hardest twerkin’ man in shizzow bizzna$ty, C-Tates, to give us the inside scoop on what you’re about to watch.

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Despite being a potentially self-loathing homophobic girlfriend-beating rage-a-holic, Chris Brown is adored by millions of teenage girls and therefore will always have work in the music and movie industries. His latest acting project is Planet B Boy, which to the ignorant ear sounds like it’s about to give “Homeboys in Outer Space” a run for its money.

Of course it’s actually about competitive street dancing, because we need more of that.

Based on a documentary of the same, the film follows a crew of American street dancers as they train to compete in France’s Battle of the Year International Championships. Benson Lee, who directed the Planet B-Boy documentary, will also helm its fictional adaptation. The film also stars Laz Alonso, Josh Peck, and Caity Lotz.

(Via Entertainment Weekly)

Fun fact: I don’t know who any of those people are. For all I know, they were created by a Hollywood name generator and the identities were given to three kids straight out of a Barbizon school. But the film will co-star Josh Holloway of “Lost” fame, which led me to wonder, “Why no C-Tates?”

So I reached out to FilmDrunk’s favorite and the world’s original B Boy, Channing Tatum, to ask why he’s not in this movie and his thoughts on men who beat women.

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