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This week on the Frotcast, four out the five Frotsmen have seen Iron Man 3, which we discuss in typical fashion late in the ‘cast. Wait, did I say FIVE Frotsmen? I did indeed, for Ashley Burns, the unauthorized mayor of Orlando, joins us on this week’s Frotcast to bring us the latest news from central Florida as well as his Song of the Summer, a little ditty called “Punch (Let’s Be Real)” about a real life tale of unrequited love (according to a guy named MoistCholo). It’s so bad, and I can’t stop siiiiihhhiiiiihiiiiiiinging it. I attached the video after the jump to share my affliction. Eat your heart out, BurnsyFan66.

BONUS FROTCAST NEWS: Laremy clearly has the magic touch, because for the SECOND YEAR IN A ROW, one of his picks for Fantasy Summer Box Office got bumped off the summer release schedule. Last year it was GI Joe Retaliation, this year it’s his Bomb Pick, the 300 sequel. The jinx is strong with that one.

Thanks to everyone who donated to the Kickstarter, I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’m so very afraid. Check out Frotcast.com to sponsor the ‘cast or for no-login-required commenting.

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This week on the Frotcast, it’s the triumphant return of Burnsy, because one listener so vocally demanded it. He hips us to some fresh YouTube clips, like Brittany Smooch’s “Pink on Pink,” and a Teen Mom from MTV who wants to schedule her jail time around a Ke$ha concert. Burnsy also updates us on the how his list of 2012′s worst movies is going, and what he’ll need to see to complete it. Then Laremy drops by for some listing, and pitches his idea for a human-sized doggie door, which frankly seems like a winner. We discuss Killing Them Softly and Beasts of the Southern Wild, and Brendan yet again accurately describes an entire scene from an overrated arthouse movie without having seen a single second of it, not even a trailer. Adam’s got your detailed episode notes after the cut.

Check out the brand-new Frotcast.com to buy the Chicago Frotcast download ($1) or Ben’s limited-edition t-shirt featuring Bret’s squirrel painting.

Subscribe on iTunes (PLEASE RATE THE PODCAST!). My favorite review so far: “Of all the podcasts, this is the best. Take it from me, your old pal Hitler!”

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow me on Twitter. Follow Laremy on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Download the Stitcher App and stream the Frotcast to your iPhone or Android device. Fan us on Facebook.

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This week Vince brings in local comic Eric Barry, we get into Burnsy’s Corner, we discuss the AVNs, get several great listener voicemails, get deep about Dane Cook-gate and the world of comedy, Brendan saw a guy get hit by a car, and other jackassery.

• 00:01:37 – In what can’t be a coincidence, Bret’s birthday is the same day as Squirrel Appreciation Day, and Fake Bret appreciates the hell out of the those fluffy tails. We received some listener voicemails: Fake Bret hater from last week is back, the “hottest” Frotcast female listener shows off (vocalizes?) her hard lovin’ skills, and Maggie Thatcher calls in for a rebuttal. The guys talk a bit about beer (I disagree about the Anchor Christmas Ale).
• 00:13:14 – Burnsy’s Corner: Things get a bit holy with some squealing church singing, a 6 year-old girl has a hardcore song about her pets, the guys discuss the aesthetics of hardcore dancing, and Burnsy talks about his new feature for Uproxx.
• 00:38:20 – Cormac McCarthy joins Twitter. Brendan is fascinated with the gay, meth head runaway on Intervention. Vince brings up the news story about Demi Moore being hospitalized for doing whip-its, which leads to a talk that digresses from whip-its to bloody wounds.
• 00:54:13 – Guest of the show, Eric Barry, talks about his friendship with Vince, running the Milk Bar, bouncing people from the comedy shows, and dealing with Haight St. gutter punks.
• 00:59:04 – The Oscar nominations are brought up briefly, but the guys come up with the ultimate Oscar baiting movie. The more interesting nominations follow: the AVN’s Most Clever Title. Eric talks about his fear of sewer babies, and is introduced to the Frotcast classic Jesse Jane clip.
• 01:11:45 – The guys talk about the recent Dane Cook fiasco at the Laugh Factory, his quick rise to fame, the redemptive appearance on Louie, and joke stealing in general. To wind things down a clip from Bones is played dealing with malware, firewalls, fractal patterns, and, you guessed it, bones…and plenty of bad writing and acting.

Vince announces an upcoming gig that you should definitely check out. (February 14th at Milk Bar)

Drunk On! -Adam

EMAIL US at FROTCAST@GMAIL.COM. LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL: 415 275 0030. SUBSCRIBE ON iTUNES. 

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We’ve still got a regularly-scheduled Frotcast going up Thursday, but in the meantime, Frotcast correspondent Adam just finished editing together a best-of show. Yay, a double Frotcast week! (Please, please, try to contain yourselves).

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Welcome to the “Not Quite Best of” Best of 2011. There were many requests but not everything could be included…so, blame the intern if this doesn’t meet your approval. Big thanks to Laremy, Robopanda, and listener Matt B for their input. All music is from Burnsy’s Corner, well, except for one song. [And yes, it includes every Koi call]

• 00:00:51 – We kick things of with some Frotcast lore: the introduction to poop transplants, a bizarre (or normal) trip to Vegas, a vivid description of the aliens from Cowboys and Aliens, and a certain kind of hair removal. [Hint: It's butthole Nairing!]
• 00:18:38 – The guys discuss the law of the streets, a group film review goes awry, Brendan’s interaction with a creepy guy at a bachelor party, and “Erection, your onion,” — the Swedish gibberish episode, a must-listen.
• 00:37:10 – We listen to the banshee known as Jesse Jane at the AVN Awards, a tribute to Fake Bret, lothario Brendan discusses his love making skills, what happens when you introduce a banana phone into a poop transplant procedure, and the guys learn some interesting facts about Thomas Kinkade, the painter of light.
• 00:55:22 – The only way to review Tower Heist is with Jamaican accents, the amazing talents of Cytheria, and don’t take the law into your own hands: take ‘em to haters court.
• 01:16:33 – MMA attributes, Lindy reads the writings of Drunken Expat Writer, fun with Shia Labeouf’s name, the eeriest (yet spot on) impersonation of Willem Dafoe, and Vince gets frustrated at Comic-Con.
• Bonus track – Lindy West gets drunk, and inadvertently starts the “Kirk Douglas’s corpse going down a log flume with a boner mini-meme.”

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Oh, and sent in by listener Logan, here’s “Armond White Reviews the Frotcast,” which was both clever, and frighteningly accurate:

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Not that it could ever make up for losing the second half of last week’s pod, but we tried to recreate the magic with Burnsy’s Corner, Brendan’s ideas for MANswers segments, and Joe King’s movie pitches, which, SPOILER ALERT, all seem to involve “a 40-year-old man with Down Syndrome.”

Notes, by Adam:

• 00:01:41 – Vince briefly discusses The Artist, and brings up legendary actress Kim Novak wanting to report a rape due the films use of the Vertigo score. It’s not surprising that Armond White agrees with her. Mr. White also made the news recently for heckling during the NY Film Critics Circle ceremony.
• 00:09:03 – We check out some clips from Manswers, which reminds us of Ow! My Balls from Idiocracy, and have some fun with our own fake Manswers.
• 00:18:53 – Burnsy’s Corner brings us a clip of the new star and Mountain Dew addict of Toddlers and Tiaras. We’re visited by a Miami Heat fan, and returning guest, Mr. Lee Roth. Somehow the Bible comes up, and Burnsy plays a cover of Nelson’s cherished classic by Kids Incorporated.
• 00:57:41 – We discuss commercial campaigns the insult the intelligence of heterosexual males.
• 01:06:36 – Joe King pitches us his movie ideas. Joe and Vince talk shop about some of the terrible places they’ve done stand-up.

EMAIL US at FROTCAST@GMAIL.COM. LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL: 415 275 0030. SUBSCRIBE ON iTUNES. [Thanks to Jesse for the artwork]

VIDEOS OF THE WEEK:

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