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For the final Frotcast of the year, we were hoping to put together a nice multi-guest, best-of extravaganza, but we ended up having to record early this week, so that will have to wait until next week. This one’s more of a placeholder. If you’re looking for “interesting interviews with interesting people”, check out last week’s Frotcast, and our interview with prison memoirist Matthew Parker, which was great. If guys getting drunk and talking movies and goofing off is more your bag, this is your week. We discuss Young Adult, Mission Impossible, and Dragon Tattoo — 3 movies, 1 Frotcast.

Here’s some more specific episode notes, courtesy of Frotcast correspondent Adam:

• 00:02:30 – Brendan regales us with a story about one of his drinking adventures with friend of the Frotcast, Justin.
• 00:05:51 – We discuss Young Adult and Vince’s beefs with the film. Everyone agrees that the “popular kid in high school who acts like a feudal lord” is a tired cliche in high school movies. This leads to some talk about our past high school experiences. Fun fact: To graduate in Florida you have to fight C-Tates.
• 00:18:34 – Burnsy’s Corner is back with some intro music. The Demi Lovato/Disney Channel/Eating Disorder Joke controversy is brought up. Burnsy announces that Van Halen will be back on tour, and to celebrate the occasion we talk to David Lee Roth live via satellite.
• 00:44:35 – Vince reveals that he once had to review the Fleshlight. In a weird correlation, we have a news story about a meth head that used a chihuahua as a Fleshlight. We also share some of our Free Health Clinic stories.
• 01:11:43 – Ben prematurely breaks out his top 10 list for 2011, which features Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It’s agreed that the only way to see Mission Impossible is on IMAX. We discuss IMAX vs. 3D. Vince feels that the first two hours of Dragon Tattoo is reminiscent of Zodiac, but the ending felt like a Lifetime movie. Ben agrees about the ending, but gives the film a “Jew Thumbs Up.” British Bill Cosby pops up and makes Bret puke.
• 01:27:50 – Our favorite film critic/blowhard, Armond White, reviews the Frotcast.

FOR NEXT WEEK. We have TWO important assignments for you. ONE — tell us your favorite segments of the year (preferably with the episode from whence it came) to assist in editing a best of 2011 podcast, and TWO, we have an assignment for you about racist characters in film/literature that I will detail below. EMAIL US at FROTCAST@GMAIL.COM. LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL: 415 275 0030. SUBSCRIBE ON iTUNES. I’ve got more shirts coming today, so I’ll soon be able to give those out to the best voicemailers.

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Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

Do you like more detailed episode notes? Well you can thank Frotcast Correspondent Adam for this lovely episode description (the short version is, it’s pretty good! you should listen!).

This week, we talk to Vince’s classmate at Columbia and published author, Matthew Parker (00:02:07). Matthew discusses with us his life in jail and prison starting at the age of 13, getting busted for counterfeiting, and becoming a free man in March of 2002. He compares county jail, state and federal prison to the higher education system, and describes what lead to his addiction to heroin and quitting for good at the age of 40. Vince and Matthew reminisce about their time at Columbia, and how a piece of Matthew’s got published in the NY Times that led to him getting an agent. His graphic memoir “Larceny in My Blood: A Memoir of Handcuffs, Heroin, and Higher Education” will be released on August 7th and is available for pre-order on Amazon.

Then we get into Burnsy’s Corner to discuss the worst movies of the year (00:44:49). Burnsy should be considered an American hero for watching both Bucky Larson and Jack and Jill. Not to spoil Burnsy’s list, but “Tower Heist” earned the #1 spot. Vince thinks that’s bullsh*t, but they both agree the film is fantastically insulting to viewers. The discussions soon dissolves into who’s more polarizing; Bret, Fake Bret, or Lindy. Vince pulls out a timely Fatty Arbuckle reference, and a hypothetical discussion of how one would go about making jizz angels pops up.

After last weeks Christmas songs, Burnsy brought some Hannukkah songs for all the heathens to listen to (01:03:00). Vince gets mistaken for Jewish. Flaming manginas and Turkish knife fights are brought up.

The final segment deals with Vince Mangina and his merkin, Chuck Liddell and his eternal mohawk, and science (Xyience??) (01:17:09). Brendan goes through Vince’s notebook while Vince steps out. We talk about our best films of 2011. Somehow Transformers 3 (guess who) gets mentioned along with Drive, Hesher, X-Men: First Class, Thor, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Midnight in Paris, Cedar Rapids, 50/50, and Like Crazy. Vince’s top pick is Elite Squad 2 from Brazil. Tim and Eric’s Million Dollar Movie gets mentioned, as well as the reactions to their absurdist humor. Cool uncle names gets talked about. From the news and listener emails we talk about the guy who died from eating cocaine from his brother’s butt, Brendan gets some tips on dealing with Vince’s hecklers, and we learn about a crazy Florida radiologist who is raising money for Joran Van der Sloot.

KEEP SENDING US YOUR RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS, NAKED PICTURES, ETC. — Frotcast@gmail.com. You can also SUBSCRIBE (or review) on iTunes, and leave us voicemails at 415 275-0030.

LISTENER’S CORNER:

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The gossip sites have been going bonkers today over the news that our favorite slow motion, up-shot shirtless hero director Michael Bay has a new lady in his life. According to Splash News and The Daily Mail, Bay spent the day with reality TV starlet and model Lauren Stoner at the beaches of Miami. Stoner was captured by various photogs as she splashed in the water while her explosion-loving beau looked on.

In fact, I asked Bay what his heart felt like when he first met Stoner and he simply replied, “*explosion sound*.”

But as we know from Bay’s past dealings with the ladies, it’s not easy navigating the path to the heart of a man who gave us giant alien robot balls. In this case, though, we know that Bay was the one who opened up, and we have the dialogue to prove it.

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[Download this week's episode here (right-click, "save as.")]

This week on the Frotcast, we brought on Brook Wilensky-Lanford, author of Paradise Lust: Searching for the Garden of Eden, a book about various peoples’ search for the real-life site of the biblical Garden of Eden. Aside from being an interesting subject (which got reviews in the NY Times, WSJ, and the SF Chronicle, among other places), it was fun for us to scoop NPR, where Brook’s being interviewed today (SUCK IT, ROBERT SIEGEL, YOU PUNK BITCH!). Anyway, fun talk. That starts at the 30-minute mark. In more standard Frotcasting news, we also talk Rise of the Planet of the Apes and bring on Burnsy for Burnsy’s Corner, in which he introduces us to Hulk Hogan’s plea for calm in the London riots, and more “awesome” songs. Enjoy.

Episode notes:

• 6:00 We talk the 30 Minutes or Less controversy, and why it’s insulting to hear them pretend it’s not based on a true story. 
• 19:00 Ben saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which he liked less than I did.
• 30:00 Brook joins us to talk Paradise Lust. Yes, it’s a less dick-joke-filled discussions than you’re probably used to, but pretty interesting.
• 37:00 Brook tells us about a guy who thinks the Earth is hollow, and the Garden of Eden is somewhere underneath the North Pole, and there’s a monorail under there and all sorts of cool sh*t.
• 46:00 We hear about the Creation Museum in Kentucky, which sounds like Jurassic Park with bible stuff.
• One Hour: We bloop in Mayor Burnsy for Burnsy’s Corner.

VIDEO EXTRA! Blame Burnsy for introducing us to this:

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It was only a matter of time before we got this news, and since Vince refuses to put down his Cormac S. Thompson novels and read “World War Z” like I’ve told him to, I get to bring you all the bad news. Currently filming in Malta, World War Z will not follow the plot of the Max Brooks “Oral History of the Zombie War.” Instead, it will tell the story of Brad Pitt, ‘dude who does stuff.’

The story revolves around United Nations employee Gerry Lane (Pitt), who traverses the world in a race against time to stop the Zombie pandemic that is toppling armies and governments and threatening to decimate humanity itself. Enos plays Gerry’s wife Karen Lane; Kertesz is his comrade in arms, Segen. (Via Slash Film)

*deep sigh, wraps tape around eyeglasses, inserts pocket protector, pours glass of YooHoo, hits inhaler*

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR NERD RANT!!!

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