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Not that it could ever make up for losing the second half of last week’s pod, but we tried to recreate the magic with Burnsy’s Corner, Brendan’s ideas for MANswers segments, and Joe King’s movie pitches, which, SPOILER ALERT, all seem to involve “a 40-year-old man with Down Syndrome.”

Notes, by Adam:

• 00:01:41 – Vince briefly discusses The Artist, and brings up legendary actress Kim Novak wanting to report a rape due the films use of the Vertigo score. It’s not surprising that Armond White agrees with her. Mr. White also made the news recently for heckling during the NY Film Critics Circle ceremony.
• 00:09:03 – We check out some clips from Manswers, which reminds us of Ow! My Balls from Idiocracy, and have some fun with our own fake Manswers.
• 00:18:53 – Burnsy’s Corner brings us a clip of the new star and Mountain Dew addict of Toddlers and Tiaras. We’re visited by a Miami Heat fan, and returning guest, Mr. Lee Roth. Somehow the Bible comes up, and Burnsy plays a cover of Nelson’s cherished classic by Kids Incorporated.
• 00:57:41 – We discuss commercial campaigns the insult the intelligence of heterosexual males.
• 01:06:36 – Joe King pitches us his movie ideas. Joe and Vince talk shop about some of the terrible places they’ve done stand-up.

EMAIL US at FROTCAST@GMAIL.COM. LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL: 415 275 0030. SUBSCRIBE ON iTUNES. [Thanks to Jesse for the artwork]

VIDEOS OF THE WEEK:

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Cheesy movie moments, every year has them. From “yer changin’ that boy’s lahfe” to “een Afrika it’s ‘bling bang,” every year produces its share of scenes so insufferably hokey that they’re like the verbal (or narrative) equivalent of a 555 number, something that says less about the character or story than it screams “THIS ISN’T REAL LIFE, IT’S A MOVIE!”

We’ve never done this before, but I thought it’d be fun to chronicle the year in cheesedickness that was. When we look back at 2011, what will be its “AH. DON’T WANT. YER LAHFE.” moment? With the help of the Uproxx staff, that’s what we attempted to find out. Keep in mind, plenty of these come from otherwise good movies, which is an important reminder that not even good movies are immune to cheese. A viewer must remain vigilant, for one can be cheesedick’d at any time, without warning.

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Pooping Maya thinks a sequel would just be wrong.

Last week, Vincent brought us the news that Universal really loves money and hates leaving well enough alone, so studio executives decided that it’s time for a Bridesmaids sequel. There’s just one little problem with Universal’s plan – Kristen Wiig is all like, “No way, Jose” because she’s working on something else. Just kidding, though, because that’s not a problem. Not to Universal anyway, because Bridesmaids 2 Bride Harder Post Coital Boogaloo will probably be made whether Wiig wants to be on board or not.

Thankfully, the original film’s surprise star, Melissa McCarthy, would like Universal to know that this is a very stupid idea, according to an article posted over at E!.

“God, I wouldn’t want to,” McCarthy told me on Saturday at the Palms Springs International Film Festival gala. “I would never want to. I think it’s a terrible idea.”

McCarthy said she doesn’t know what the studio is planning.

“I don’t (know) anything about it,” she said. “But I know that nobody wants to do it unless it’s great. If it is, I will show up wherever those ladies are.”

Seeing as Bridesmaids grossed a ridiculous $288 million worldwide on a $32 million budget, a sequel will be made despite the best efforts of McCarthy, Wiig, her writing partner Annie Mumolo, director Paul Feig, or Jon Hamm’s dreamy ass. Universal execs just shouldn’t act all surprised when the sequel tanks and people like me call it one of the Worst Movies of the Year. And you can bet your ass I’ll be shaking my fist when I do it. That’s how serious I’ll be.

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Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

Folks, we had extremely high hopes for this 81st Frotcast, commemorating a full calendar year of Frotcasting. We had:

• New Koi Calls (that’s when we leave prank messages to a local koi merchant), the Frotcast’s most popular segment (5-minute mark)

• Burnsy’s best of the year, including best reality show contestant (pictured), best movie line of the year, best sign of the apocalypse, and best song of the year (guess).(17 minutes) Brendan also does both his Chris Berman and Jon Gruden impressions. (32 minutes)

• Patrick Schumacker regales us with his top 10 Match.com headlines of the year (38 minutes), such as “She flies with her own wings.”

• ShitMyDadSays’s Justin Halpern gives us his top 10 things he overheard from the all-women’s halfway house across the street from his house (53 minutes), such as “Is this where you throw your c*nts, bitch?”

After that, Joe King gave us his pitches for fictional movies, Lindy West ran down the year in monkey attacks, and Laremy explained his top 10 things he cooked. It was really funny, and this was supposed to be a two-part, super Frotcast. UNFORTUNATELY, Garage Band took a dump on us, and the second part of this Frotcast was forever lost to history. It’s… really depressing, actually. But there’s not a lot I can do about it now. Apologies to Lindy, Joe, and Laremy, hopefully we can try it again soon.

EMAIL US at FROTCAST@GMAIL.COM. LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL: 415 275 0030. SUBSCRIBE ON iTUNES.

The other day Vince and I were making S’mores and chatting about life, when he pointed out that 2011 was the 20th anniversary of the end of the Cold War, that era in world history when everyone lived in pants-crapping fear that the U.S. and Russia were going to destroy us all. More importantly than global genocide and the threat of a nuclear holocaust, the Cold War had an undeniable impact on the movie industry, most notably in creating one of the easiest and most overused plot devices of the last 50 years.

Obviously, the Cold War gave us classics like Dr. Strangelove, The Manchurian Candidate, and the entire James Bond franchise. It also gave us The Hunt for Red October and Tom Clancy’s career, as well as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and wherever else Shia LeBeouf and his grandfather Harrison Ford take us. It gave us The Manhattan Project, The Good Shepherd, Thirteen Days, Top Gun, Good Night, and Good Luck, and even Salt, which was a modern reminder of just how hilariously off-the-wall – and flat out terrible – some Cold War films were.

In fact, those are the films that I want to celebrate – the movies that both embraced the terrifying nightmare of global war and laughed in the face of four decades of silent terror. Because without them, we’d probably all be living in mountain bunkers or adapting to our tentacles.

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