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This week Vince brings in local comic Eric Barry, we get into Burnsy’s Corner, we discuss the AVNs, get several great listener voicemails, get deep about Dane Cook-gate and the world of comedy, Brendan saw a guy get hit by a car, and other jackassery.

• 00:01:37 – In what can’t be a coincidence, Bret’s birthday is the same day as Squirrel Appreciation Day, and Fake Bret appreciates the hell out of the those fluffy tails. We received some listener voicemails: Fake Bret hater from last week is back, the “hottest” Frotcast female listener shows off (vocalizes?) her hard lovin’ skills, and Maggie Thatcher calls in for a rebuttal. The guys talk a bit about beer (I disagree about the Anchor Christmas Ale).
• 00:13:14 – Burnsy’s Corner: Things get a bit holy with some squealing church singing, a 6 year-old girl has a hardcore song about her pets, the guys discuss the aesthetics of hardcore dancing, and Burnsy talks about his new feature for Uproxx.
• 00:38:20 – Cormac McCarthy joins Twitter. Brendan is fascinated with the gay, meth head runaway on Intervention. Vince brings up the news story about Demi Moore being hospitalized for doing whip-its, which leads to a talk that digresses from whip-its to bloody wounds.
• 00:54:13 – Guest of the show, Eric Barry, talks about his friendship with Vince, running the Milk Bar, bouncing people from the comedy shows, and dealing with Haight St. gutter punks.
• 00:59:04 – The Oscar nominations are brought up briefly, but the guys come up with the ultimate Oscar baiting movie. The more interesting nominations follow: the AVN’s Most Clever Title. Eric talks about his fear of sewer babies, and is introduced to the Frotcast classic Jesse Jane clip.
• 01:11:45 – The guys talk about the recent Dane Cook fiasco at the Laugh Factory, his quick rise to fame, the redemptive appearance on Louie, and joke stealing in general. To wind things down a clip from Bones is played dealing with malware, firewalls, fractal patterns, and, you guessed it, bones…and plenty of bad writing and acting.

Vince announces an upcoming gig that you should definitely check out. (February 14th at Milk Bar)

Drunk On! -Adam

EMAIL US at FROTCAST@GMAIL.COM. LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL: 415 275 0030. SUBSCRIBE ON iTUNES. 

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If you watched Amanda Seyfried in 2011’s Red Riding Hood, thinking, “Eh, this is OK, but I could use more violent girls flashing their boobs and werewolves acting all rapey” then you’re in luck, because Japan already heard you loud and clear. Red Sword reimagines the classic “Little Red Riding Hood” tale just a little bit differently than Hollywood’s most recent version.

Long, long ago, there was a wolf-man tribe who had no women. All through history these desperate wolf men have attacked and raped female humans as a way to continue their species. But the wolf men have a terrible legend where every hundred years, on the night of a red moon, a little girl is born and she is destined to destroy the wolf-man tribe. The lecherous wolf men are so afraid of females that they have developed a code which requires they kill baby girls soon after they are born. But only the lovely Beniko Akatsuki survives this terrible fate.

These days, Beniko fights endless battles against the wolf men. Poor Beniko’s mother was ruthlessly raped by a wolf man and gave birth to Beniko. To save her baby girl, Beniko’s mother had to sacrifice her own life. Now, Beniko wears a memento of her beloved mother, a red riding hood, and she has dedicated her life to killing all the wolf men. One day, Beniko senses that the evil wolf men are sneaking into a high school. The clever Beniko pretends she is a school girl and starts attending school, only to find vicious, horny pack of female-deprived wolf men. Beniko protects her fellow school girls as she fights them off with her sword and her red riding hood.

Will the brave, sexy Beniko Red Riding Hood be able to finally kill the vicious pack of sex-starved wolf-men? (Via Gamma Squad and Twitch)

So not only is the Japanese version about the sword-wielding product of werewolf-on-human rape, but she also pretends to be a high school student, flashing her boobs all over the place, because these werewolves are only into schoolgirls. I have to say, I’m just a little bit disappointed in the predictability, Japan.

Very NSFW trailer after the jump. How NSFW? It asks your age for verification and you CANNOT lie to the Internet.

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Not that it could ever make up for losing the second half of last week’s pod, but we tried to recreate the magic with Burnsy’s Corner, Brendan’s ideas for MANswers segments, and Joe King’s movie pitches, which, SPOILER ALERT, all seem to involve “a 40-year-old man with Down Syndrome.”

Notes, by Adam:

• 00:01:41 – Vince briefly discusses The Artist, and brings up legendary actress Kim Novak wanting to report a rape due the films use of the Vertigo score. It’s not surprising that Armond White agrees with her. Mr. White also made the news recently for heckling during the NY Film Critics Circle ceremony.
• 00:09:03 – We check out some clips from Manswers, which reminds us of Ow! My Balls from Idiocracy, and have some fun with our own fake Manswers.
• 00:18:53 – Burnsy’s Corner brings us a clip of the new star and Mountain Dew addict of Toddlers and Tiaras. We’re visited by a Miami Heat fan, and returning guest, Mr. Lee Roth. Somehow the Bible comes up, and Burnsy plays a cover of Nelson’s cherished classic by Kids Incorporated.
• 00:57:41 – We discuss commercial campaigns the insult the intelligence of heterosexual males.
• 01:06:36 – Joe King pitches us his movie ideas. Joe and Vince talk shop about some of the terrible places they’ve done stand-up.

EMAIL US at FROTCAST@GMAIL.COM. LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL: 415 275 0030. SUBSCRIBE ON iTUNES. [Thanks to Jesse for the artwork]

VIDEOS OF THE WEEK:

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Cheesy movie moments, every year has them. From “yer changin’ that boy’s lahfe” to “een Afrika it’s ‘bling bang,” every year produces its share of scenes so insufferably hokey that they’re like the verbal (or narrative) equivalent of a 555 number, something that says less about the character or story than it screams “THIS ISN’T REAL LIFE, IT’S A MOVIE!”

We’ve never done this before, but I thought it’d be fun to chronicle the year in cheesedickness that was. When we look back at 2011, what will be its “AH. DON’T WANT. YER LAHFE.” moment? With the help of the Uproxx staff, that’s what we attempted to find out. Keep in mind, plenty of these come from otherwise good movies, which is an important reminder that not even good movies are immune to cheese. A viewer must remain vigilant, for one can be cheesedick’d at any time, without warning.

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Pooping Maya thinks a sequel would just be wrong.

Last week, Vincent brought us the news that Universal really loves money and hates leaving well enough alone, so studio executives decided that it’s time for a Bridesmaids sequel. There’s just one little problem with Universal’s plan – Kristen Wiig is all like, “No way, Jose” because she’s working on something else. Just kidding, though, because that’s not a problem. Not to Universal anyway, because Bridesmaids 2 Bride Harder Post Coital Boogaloo will probably be made whether Wiig wants to be on board or not.

Thankfully, the original film’s surprise star, Melissa McCarthy, would like Universal to know that this is a very stupid idea, according to an article posted over at E!.

“God, I wouldn’t want to,” McCarthy told me on Saturday at the Palms Springs International Film Festival gala. “I would never want to. I think it’s a terrible idea.”

McCarthy said she doesn’t know what the studio is planning.

“I don’t (know) anything about it,” she said. “But I know that nobody wants to do it unless it’s great. If it is, I will show up wherever those ladies are.”

Seeing as Bridesmaids grossed a ridiculous $288 million worldwide on a $32 million budget, a sequel will be made despite the best efforts of McCarthy, Wiig, her writing partner Annie Mumolo, director Paul Feig, or Jon Hamm’s dreamy ass. Universal execs just shouldn’t act all surprised when the sequel tanks and people like me call it one of the Worst Movies of the Year. And you can bet your ass I’ll be shaking my fist when I do it. That’s how serious I’ll be.

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