Steven Seagal, while famously not able to keep track of space and time too well, is an impeccable dresser, and, as we found out the other day, once had a Colombian company design him a bulletproof kimono, presumably so that he could keep up his patented “bloated shaman” look, even while taking musket fire during the Civil War or dodging matchlocks aboard a Chinese junk during 15th century Ming voyages. “I once assassinated Julius Caesar with a front kick, but I’m not here to talk about that,” Seagal likes to say.

An eagle-eyed FilmDrunkard, meanwhile, pointed out that the very factory that manufactured Seagal’s bulletproof kimono was actually visited by Vice reporter Ryan Duffy back in May, who actually got to try on some bulletproof Seagal gear [5:20 of the video], which may require being specially made on account of its size, in addition to its bullet-stopping qualities (Steven Seagal is very big, is what I’m saying). Naturally, Duffy put on some bulletproof clothes and took a jacket for a test drive, becoming a shooting dummy for the so-called bulletproof tailor and CEO of the company, Miguel Caballero, who fires a pistol at Duffy from about two feet away.

You gotta love that the CEO does the shooting himself, right there in his office, no waivers or anything. Good ole Colombia. “Waibear? No waibear. Mira, ju wanna get chot, I choot ju. 10 dolar, frieng price.”

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The other day Vince and I were making S’mores and chatting about life, when he pointed out that 2011 was the 20th anniversary of the end of the Cold War, that era in world history when everyone lived in pants-crapping fear that the U.S. and Russia were going to destroy us all. More importantly than global genocide and the threat of a nuclear holocaust, the Cold War had an undeniable impact on the movie industry, most notably in creating one of the easiest and most overused plot devices of the last 50 years.

Obviously, the Cold War gave us classics like Dr. Strangelove, The Manchurian Candidate, and the entire James Bond franchise. It also gave us The Hunt for Red October and Tom Clancy’s career, as well as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and wherever else Shia LeBeouf and his grandfather Harrison Ford take us. It gave us The Manhattan Project, The Good Shepherd, Thirteen Days, Top Gun, Good Night, and Good Luck, and even Salt, which was a modern reminder of just how hilariously off-the-wall – and flat out terrible – some Cold War films were.

In fact, those are the films that I want to celebrate – the movies that both embraced the terrifying nightmare of global war and laughed in the face of four decades of silent terror. Because without them, we’d probably all be living in mountain bunkers or adapting to our tentacles.

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This certainly isn’t the first clip I’ve posted from 1988′s Bulletproof, but this is a movie with both Gary Busey and Danny Trejo we’re talking here, you can’t have too much.  In this clip, Busey drifts off to fantasy land where he shows off his saxophone chops (because we all play saxophones in our dreams from time to time, don’t we?), and makes out with his co-star in such a way that I’m pretty sure their lips don’t actually touch.  But can you blame Darlanne Fluegel?  Knowing Busey, he probably had coyote breath.  Hold on, I’m getting some new information here… okay, check that, it wasn’t a saxophone, it’s actually a butthorn.

[Thanks to Burnsy for the tip]

Yesterday, I posted this Busey gif animation and challenged you to combine it with the “your worst nightmare, butthorn!” clip.  Not only did it lead to a 170+ comment Busey Facts* thread, it unleashed a deluge of other Busey and Busey-related clips, including the one you see above.  That’s right, Butthorn, “Butthorn” was not an isolated incident.  So today’s Friday Free for All will be all Busey.  Join me after the jump for the even better Lil’ Jon-style remix, plus… more!
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