Bryan Singer made a Superman movie barely five years ago, and the franchise is already being “rebooted” with a different cast.  Which, for a director, has to be a lot like your ex-girlfriend deciding to dabble in lesbianism.  Singer, who’s currently producing X-Men: First Class, recently sat down with VoicesFromKrypton.com to explain how the signs were there all along.

“I think that Superman Returns was a bit nostalgic and romantic, and I don’t think that was what people were expecting, especially in the summer,” Singer said in an interview with VoicesFromKrypton.com. “What I had noticed is that there weren’t a lot of women lining up to see a comic book movie, but they were going to line up to see The Devil Wears Prada, which may have been something I wanted to address. But when you’re making a movie, you’re not thinking about that stuff, you’re thinking, ‘Wow, I want to make a romantic movie that harkens back to the Richard Donner movie that I loved so much.’ And that’s what I did.”

Ahh, the old subconscious Devil Wears Prada defense.  C’mon, Singer, tell us something we don’t know.  I think he should’ve gone with a bigger codpiece. Everyone knows bigger codpiece = more romance.

Many moviegoers criticized the third act, in which Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) stabs Superman with a shard of kryptonite, but then the two characters don’t appear onscreen again for the rest of the movie. In defending the scene, Singer said he tried to insert a religious analogy his storytelling, which was probably too “heavy” for a summer movie.

“I’ve always felt that the origin of Superman is the story of Moses — the child sent on a ship to fulfill a destiny,” said Singer, a producer on the upcoming X-Men: First Class. “And this was a story about Christ — it’s all about sacrifice: The world, I hear their cries. So what happens? He gets the knife in the side and later he falls to the earth in the shape of a crucifix. It was kind of nailing you on the head, but I enjoyed that, because I’ve always found the myth of Christ compelling and moving. So I hoped to do my own take, which is heavy s— for a summer movie.” [THR]

Yeah… too heavy… that was the problem.  And seriously, dude?  A Jesus metaphor?  A JESUS METAPHOR?!? If you ever hear someone say they want their protagonist to be a Christ figure, please, for the love of God, whip them and staple them to a cross, because that is easily the most f*cked out, pointless, faux-profound plot device in existence.  F*cking Madonna was doing it in her videos to seem edgy back when she was still do-able, and it was hack then.  Get it?? He’s falling to the Earth in the shape of a cross!  That explains… so much!  About something!  At least, it reminds me of the Bible!  And also Robocop and The Matrix!  I’m pretty sure the bigger problem with Superman Returns was that Superman was able to will the Kryptonite shard out of his body using the power of positive thinking.  Come on, man, even the Bible respected our intelligence more than that.

Ever since Fox brought on Matthew Vaughn to direct, X-Men: First Class has been shaping up to be something I actually give a sh*t about.  Bryan Singer, who’s producing, recently called AICN‘s Harry Knowles to share some details about the project, conveniently leaving out the part where he wanted to cast Taylor Lautner in it.  Here are some of the beans he spilled:

• Film takes place in the 60s with Kennedy as president.  Martin Luther King and Malcolm X will be in the background of the story, which I guess drives home the point that X-Men was always sort of based on the civil rights movement (Xavier is MLK, Magneto is Malcom X)
• Xavier (James McAvoy) and Magneto (Michael F. Assbender) are in their late twenties.  Xavier still has hair.
• We’ll see how Xavier ends up in his wheelchair (drunk driver???)
• Costumes will be “more comic bookish.”  Which presumably means “less black leathery.”  Does that make it more gay or less gay?  Discuss.
• Vaughn was said to be inspired by James Bond era costumes and gadgets.  Sean Connery’s wife pressed for further details, but Connery just slapped her hard across the mouth.
• Cyclops’ brother Alex Summers aka Havoc will appear, played by Lucas Till.  Or as I like to call him, “who?”
• This will be the first silver age Marvel movie.  F*CK YEAH!  BEST NEWS I’VE HEARD ALL DAY!  (I don’t know what that means).
• The Hellfire Club will factor into the plot, with Kevin Bacon playing Sebastian Shaw and January Jones as Emma Frost.
• “I asked if Kevin Bacon would be sporting that little ponytail with the ribbon – Bryan laughed and said, ‘We’ll see’.”
• Singer also confirmed some of the other cast members, such as Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique, Nicholas Hoult as Beast, Caleb Landry Jones as Banshee, Lucas Till as Havoc, Edi Gathegi as Darwin, and Jason Flemyng as Azazel. [via AICN, hat tip GammaSquad]

Wait, that’s it?? What of codpieces?  I just can’t respect a superhero unless he has a prodigious crotch bulge.  Guh.  No one asks the important questions.

PS: Reader Pauly snapped this picture of a guy at a convenient store this morning.  He should play Beast.  Good lord.

(Taylor Lautner is SO not impressed with your wolf howl.)

The first two X-Men films Bryan Singer directed rank pretty high on my list of favorite comic book movies (just ahead of Last Airbender and Schindler’s List), which is why I was excited when it was initially reported that he’d be directing X-Men: First Class. When it was later revealed that Matthew Vaughn was directing and Singer would only produce, it was even better news, considering how much better Kick-Ass was than Superman Returns.  Today, Singer not directing seems like an even better idea (three levels! just like Inception!) as he revealed that he wanted to cast Taylor Lautner (presumably while zipping the fly on his Bad Idea Jeans). From an interview with Blastr:

“I wanted Taylor [Lautner] to do it, I really did,” Singer said in an exclusive interview. “He’s doing a movie in Pittsburgh called Abduction, and then he’s got the next Twilight movie. We talked about it a lot—he is a friend [no comment on any supposed and/or alleged Bryan Singer rumors... -Ed.]—and I really wanted to make it work. It just doesn’t look like it’s possible to do it.”

For the record, I’ve got nothing against Taylor Lautner for being associated with the Twilight franchise, it’s just that he seems like a really awful actor (sidenote: are he and RPattz having a whispering contest in that scene?).  Is Taylor Lautner really the only muscular kid in Hollywood?  You take any theater kid, get him a personal trainer and feed him a couple protein bars, boom, you’ve got Taylor Lautner.  Trust me, I’ve been doing similar experiments in my basement for years.  There’s no need to keep throwing money at this ab mannequin.

The first major piece of the X-Men: First Class casting puzzle has fallen into place as Scottish beefcake James McAvoy signed on to play a younger version of Professor Charles Xavier. McAvoy, he of the Narnia goat people, is only the first actor cast for a major role in the new Marvel mutant franchise that will hit theaters with a June 3, 2011 release.

First Class is being directed by Kick-Ass and Layer Cake director Matthew Vaughn, after he beat out Louis Leterrier, Jonathan Mostow, David Slade, and other guys I had to look up on IMDB only to groan over their past work. Bryan Singer, who directed the first two X-Men films before breaking off to give the Superman reboot a rusty trombone, is producing the new X-Men installment, which is expected to be like Muppet Babies meets… well, X-Men. While McAvoy is the only young actor signed on for a movie coming out in one year, at least there’s a story. The rest can be filled in with sock puppets and Asian children.

Read my thoughts of naked dudes chicks, Heat Vision:

According to Fox, “First Class” will “chart the epic beginning of the X-Men saga. Before Charles Xavier and Eric Lensherr took the names Professor X and Magneto, they were two young men discovering their powers for the first time. Before they were archenemies, they were the closest of friends, working together, with other Mutants (some familiar, some new), to stop the greatest threat the world has ever known. In the process, a rift between them opened, which began the eternal war between Magneto’s Brotherhood and Professor X’s X-Men.”

Patrick Stewart played the character, a bald-headed, wheelchair-bound telepath, in the original “X-Men” trilogy. Fox did not reveal if McAvoy will sport a follicle-free pate.

The plot summary is much more effective if you read it in a deep, grating voice while you’re in a prison shower. Among the X-Men characters expected to be cast for First Class are Wolverine, Storm, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Beast and obviously Magneto. McAvoy brings comic book movie experience from his role as the protagonist in Wanted, so he’s making the leap from bullet-bending to MIND-bending… *puts on Criss Angel music, stands like Jesus*

Read the rest of this entry »

Perhaps nothing is as rare in movie news as what I’m about to report: a pleasant surprise.  After Fox performed dry anal rape on the X-Men franchise by hiring Brett Ratner for X3, following it up with a lame Wolverine movie, and announcing that the Gossip Girls guy would write the teen version called X-Men First Class, today it seems they at least have the common godd*mn decency to give it a reach around.  They got Bryan Singer (who also reportedly came up with the story) to produce, and he brought on Kick-Ass director Matthew Vaughn to direct.  I can’t think of a better choice, except perhaps Diora Baird, our nation’s greatest hero.

“I’ve been a fan of Matthew’s since Layer Cake,” said Singer.  
First Class chronicles the beginning of the X-Men saga, before Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr took the names Professor X and Magneto and when they were discovering their powers for the first time.  Close friends thn, the two men worked with other mutants (some familiar, some new) to stop a global threat.  In the process, a rift between them opened, which began the eternal war between Magneto’s Brotherhood and Professor X’s X-Men.  The studio has dated the pic for a June 3, 2011 release. [Variety]

Fox making a good decision?  I had to look out the window to make sure it wasn’t raining frogs and dogs and cats having sex with each other.  Also, I never thought of this before, but X-Men is supposed to be an allegory for the civil rights movement — it’s interesting that Magneto is the Malcolm X, while Professor X is Martin Luther King, and yet it’s Xavier who ended up with the Black Muslim last name.  And if you’re just joining us, this has been another exciting episode of “Deep Thoughts That Didn’t Go Anywhere.”

Oh and sure, make the Jewish one the bad guy.  Typical Hollywood.