I first told you about Richelle Olson’s lawsuit against Sacha Cohen and the producers of Bruno back in June 2009. It sounded like bullsh*t even then, so it’s not surprising that a lower court and then an appeals court both ruled as much. Now an appeals court has affirmed Universal’s motion make Olson pay their attorneys’ fees, which, as much as it’s a faceless corporation triumphing over an old lady in a wheelchair, actually seems fair.

But by far my favorite part of the story is the details it reveals about the original case, which are hilarious. Or at least, as hilarious as an incident that ends with an old lady getting paralyzed could ever be.

Cohen, NBC Universal, and other production companies on Bruno were sued in 2009 by Richelle Olson and her husband after allegedly being subjected to a confrontation that resulted in injuries including a “brain bleed.”

The incident in question happened on May 24, 2007 at Olson’s bingo hall. Cohen, acting as “Bruno,” was invited up to the stage to call out the numbers. The film crew was present, and all of the elderly people in attendance had signed a “Standard Consent Agreement” to be filmed for a “documentary-style film.”

Universal submitted 28 minutes of unedited footage showing what happened. According to a footnote in the latest appeals court decision:

“After Cohen called out the Bingo number 36, he states that “36″ was the age of his former male partner. Later, when he calls out the number 3, he says that his former partner’s birthday was “May 3.” When he later calls out the number 59, he remarks that 59 was the number of his hotel room he stayed in when he met his former partner, and a few minutes later when he announces number 42, Cohen offers that “42 inches was his partner’s chest size. Finally, after Cohen announces the number 7, he comments that he met his partner on “July 7.” Some members of the audience can be heard laughing after each comment.”

Bear with me, it’s about to get good. See if you can find my favorite line in this next blockquote:

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A photographer and not-at-all-fame-seeking-bottom-feeder named Mike Skiff has filed a lawsuit against Sacha Baron Cohen and the crew of Bruno over a 2008 incident in which Skiff claims he was assaulted at a Prop 8 rally (the proposition that banned gay marriage in California).  Skiff even caught the event on YouTube, which you can watch below.  It’s terrifying, in that you can clearly see a member of the Bruno crew stretching Skiff’s hoodie vest.

According to the lawsuit, filed today in L.A. County Superior Court, members of the “Bruno” crew “carried ‘Yes on Proposition 8′ signs contrived for the sole purpose of inciting and sparking unrest to enhance the dramatic effect of what they may capture for their film.”

In the suit, Skiff claims he began to shoot the “Bruno” team when they approached him — “violently confronting [Skiff] with the threat of being clubbed with wooden signs.” ['violently confronting with the threat,' i.e. a threat that wasn't actually violent. -Ed] Skiff says the alleged attack was designed to prevent him from filming the event.  Skiff claims he was shoved, pulled and wrestled by  “Bruno”  — causing serious injury. [TMZ]

And by “filming the event,” Skiff apparently means “jumping between Sacha Cohen and the other cameramen while yelling, ‘Bruno! Bruno!’”

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Terrorist Ayman Abu Aita, who previously threatened to sue for being identified as a terrorist in the Bruno movie, has reportedly followed through.

The Palestinian grocer and peace activist from Bethlehem says the depiction of him in the movie has ruined his life. In Bruno, Cohen’s gay character claims to travel to the Ein El-Hilweh refugee camp in Lebanon to meet a leader of the Al-Aqsa Brigades. A caption describes Abu Aita as ‘Terrorist group leader, Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigade’.
In fact, the scene was filmed at a well-known hotel on the outskirts of Bethlehem in the West Bank in an area under Israeli control, next to an Israeli army base.
On American TV last July Cohen told talkshow host Letterman his production team found this ‘real terrorist’ through a CIA contact.
Abu Aita has filed a suit against Cohen, NBC Universal Studios and Letterman demanding £70 million [$114 million] – equal to half the movie’s gross box office takings.
The father of four says says he has since received death threats, he is a firm opponent of terrorists, and that he was tricked into meeting Cohen, thinking he was a German producing a film about the Palestinian cause. [DailyMail]

Zee Germans, of course, it’s always their fault.  Anyway, that’s the part of the story most news outlets and blogs are covering.  But keep in mind, Aita was a member of the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade from 2000 to 2003 and even did two years in Israeli prison.  So his claims that’s he’s not a terrorist, just a mild-mannered Christian now are pretty much like any other criminal who says he’s a Christian now.  Plus, look at that mustache, of course he’s a terrorist.

In this deleted scene from the Bruno movie, recently leaked to promote the DVD release on November 17th,  baseball great Pete Rose is subjected to the same here-sit-on-my-Mexican stunt that Bruno used on Paula Abdul.  To his credit, Rose doesn’t squirm or complain, he just settles in and starts talkin’ baseball.  At one point the crew tries to rattle Rose when his chair starts acting uncomfortable.  But Rose is unflappable.

“He don’t seem to understand that this is very uncomfortable for this guy.  So get another guy here, because this guy’s uncomfortable.”

And then they swap Mexicans.  See?  The first step toward a post racial society is to treat every minority as an individual.  Just because one Mexican isn’t good at being a chair, that’s no reason to assume that a different Mexican wouldn’t be better.  Well done, Pete Rose, it seems this is not your first time sitting on a Mexican.  Ahh, good times.  It’s like my junior high experience in reverse.

[via /Film]

Sacha Baron Cohen has signed on to star in Borat writer Dan Mazer’s film about the Eurovision song contest, which he’s been developing since 2007.  The Eurovision song contest is basically like Miss Universe meets American Idol meets Sprockets, where groups representing European countries compete with comically overproduced song and dance numbers.  Past winners include Abba, and a Finnish goth band who dress like orcs (video after the jump).

Sacha Baron Cohen has signed on to join “Eurovision: The Movie,” in which he will portray a singer who enters the competition.  A source said: “Mazer and Cohen thought it would be better if Sacha dreamt up another character, and the scope for another oddball creation is huge.”
The new movie is expected to be another fake documentary in the style of “Bruno” and “Borat.” The script has already been written and the film is expected to appear in theaters by 2011. [WorstPreviews]

Well the source material is certainly rife. Or is it ripe?  Probably both.  Anyway, the only problem I see is that most of the Eurovision entries are already so ridiculous that it’s almost impossible to do a parody version funnier than the original.  Nonetheless, it’s hard to predict how Cohen’s entry will fare – tentatively titled Two Dudes Having Sex with the Holocaust.
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