Word on the street is that old Clint “Jazz Hands” Eastwood is considering a movie adaptation of Jersey Boys as his next film. The growling, 82-year-old republican might not be the first director who comes to mind when you think “musicals,” but let’s not forget, he did sing the theme song to Gran Torino.  I like to think Jersey Boys will be the world’s first “Gookbox Musical.” In that it will be about Clint Eastwood boxing gooks (his words).

Word has spread around Hollywood that the legendary filmmaker has set his sights on an adaptation of the hit Broadway musical Jersey Boys. Multiple sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that Eastwood is in talks with production entity GK Films and Warner Bros. to take on the high-profile project, though neither the studio nor the production company or Eastwood’s reps would confirm the negotiations.
Based on the mega-hit Tony-winning musical, the story chronicles the rise of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons and the group’s eventual breakup.
Eastwood, whose most recent film as director was 2011′s J. Edgar (he starred in and produced but did not direct September’s Trouble With the Curve), has long been looking to bring A Star Is Born back to the big screen. Grammy winner Esperanza Spalding is the current choice to star, but that project is having difficulty casting a male lead, with a number of stars passing (Sean Penn’s name being the latest to surface).
Insiders say Eastwood would look to direct Jersey Boys, then follow with Star Is Born. [THR]

With a style that’s the antithesis of OCD tinkerers like David Fincher or Stanley Kubrick, Clint Eastwood is notorious for shooting movies quickly, to the point that he’s been known to shoot shots the actors thought were rehearsals, and then move onto the next one without doing another take. In Gran Torino in particular, where he was working with a bunch of first-time Hmong actors, the actors would go from looking seasoned in one scene to looking like complete amateurs in others, I’m assuming because old Eastwood didn’t feel like doing more than three takes. It’ll be interesting to see how that style plays on the set of musical, and by that I mean I can’t wait for him to accuse his actors of being “light in the loafers” and make theater kids cry. I think I’d rather see the making-of than the actual movie.

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Undeterred by Matthew McConaughey‘s biggest Oscar snub of all time (with the “Ladies of Tampa” snub being a close second), Magic Mike producers are still moving forward with plans for a Magic Mike Broadway musical. And if you always dreamed of having a flamboyantly gay man grind his crotch in your face while he does a Matthew McConaughey impression and sings a song about coffee tables, you’re in luck, because a producer has confirmed to Vulture that the play will indeed have lap dances. All the best plays do. Heck, my mom practically majored in “theater.”

We got the answer to that last question when we spoke to producer Gregory Jacobs (also the first assistant director on the Magic Mike movie) at the Cinema Society premiere for Side Effects last week. “Oh, you definitely might get a lap dance,” he said. “Absolutely. That’s happening for sure.” Jacobs also let slip that “there’s bound to be a great song about how to pick out a thong,” but couldn’t reveal much more. “It’s coming along, and there will be more about it soon,” he said.

Because Burnsy and I are close personal friends of C-Tates, and not the kind of friends he feels the need to ever mention or be photographed with because we’re that close, we were able to get our hands on an exclusive set list for the Magic Mike Broadway musical.

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Just to pound home those last few nails into theater-as-an-artform’s coffin, the new big thing on Broadway is to take a movie, add some songs, and turn it into one big, soulless, obnoxious dance number. Rocky recently got the musical-adaptation treatment, produced by Sylvester Stallone himself, but before bringing it to the US, they apparently decided to do a test run in Hamburg, Germany, where it’s called “Rocky: Das Musical.” That’s right, German theater kids, singing songs about Sylvester Stallone. The surrealism is strong with this one.

Check it out:

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The news today for Tom Cruise’s latest project, Rock of Ages, is that Saturday Night Live’s Will Forte is joining the cast of this Broadway-to-big-screen musical adaptation. Forte joins Cruise, Russell Brand, Alec Baldwin, Bryan Cranston, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Malin Akerman’s super hot self, among others, for this star-studded celebration of the Tony-nominated musical.

Cruise is playing 80s rock superstar Stacee Jaxx and you can see from the image above that he’s hardly sacrificing his trademark manliness that he’s so well-known for these days. Don’t you worry about that, friends, because his woman, Katie Holmes, says that he’s still a boss.

“Two years ago he took me up on his P-51 Mustang, a fighter plane from World War II. He painted the words, ‘Kiss Me, Kate’ on the side,” Holmes says in the August issue of InStyle. “It feels like you’re on a bike in the sky. I thought, I’m either going to spend this whole flight totally freaked out or realize this is pretty thrilling.” (Via People)

When they landed, Katie wrapped her arms around Tom’s neck and moved in to kiss him, but he pulled back and said, “Stop it! You’re messing up my scarf!”

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Director Julie Taymor has left her $65 million Spider-Man musical just a week before the official opening night, so that’s going well.  No word yet on whether she quit or was fired, but she was definitely fired. Sources say that the producers are now considering pushing the official opening back until June, though they’ve already had a record 100, unofficial “preview” shows (which I guess is just code for “don’t complain if it still sucks”).  The delay will no doubt add to the show’s runaway budget, but should be hailed as a relief to the area’s understaffed emergency room doctors, who’ve been swamped with victims of “the spandex plague.”

“Actors are only allowed to rehearse a certain amount of time while performing on Broadway, so if they want to make some serious changes, they’re going to need to shut the show down for a good amount of time,” said NY1’s “On Stage” producer Frank DiLella. “That brings up the issue of money. The show is grossing $1.2 million a week.”
The show costs about $1 million a week to produce.
Sources say with Taymor out, the producers are considering pushing opening night of “Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark” back from next Tuesday to sometime in June.

This means the show would not be eligible for any Tony Awards this year.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

“It’s a shame. All that money wasted,” said one New Yorker. “And for U2, with the music.”

“I think the amount of money that’s been spent on this musical is obscene,” said another. “The whole thing is ridiculous. With the number of injuries, it’s just nonsense. Money should be spent feeding the homeless, taking care of the city. It’s a reflection of our culture and it’s an outrage.” [NY1]

Wait, I’m not sure how to feel about this yet, are there any more slack-jawed yokels nearby who you could ask for an opinion?  Maybe a cabbie, or a hot dog vendor?  Oh, local news, don’t ever change. “Eh, oh, I feel bad for da homeless, but especially for dat friggin’ Bono.  Shame on you, Julie Taymor.”

Boy, who would’ve thought a Broadway musical about Spider-Man with music by U2 would turn out to be such a bad idea, huh?