Brian Cox is one of the best actors ever.  He’s so good that I sometimes daydream about him and Rip Torn Indian wrestling.  Anyway, here’s Brian Cox teaching a two-year-old the soliloquy from Hamlet because I know you fags love this cutesy sh-t.  It’s always funny to hear little kids talk in British accents.  My, where did you attend finishing school, guvna?

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This is the trailer for Trick ‘r Treat, which comes all over DVD and Blu-Ray October 6th.  It doesn’t seem all that special, but if you believe the review quotes, it’s the internet’s favorite thing since stump porn.  That’s right, STUMP PORN. *rubs palms together, waits for checks from Google to start rolling in*

“Trick ‘r Treat” is about four interwoven stories that occur on Halloween: An everyday high school principal has a secret life as a serial killer; a college virgin might have just met the one guy for her; a group of teenagers pull a mean prank; a woman who loathes the night has to contend with her holiday-obsessed husband. [Collider]

It stars Brian Cox, Anna Paquin, and that super-creepy dude from Happiness.  You might be wondering why a movie starring people you’ve heard of that got good reviews is going straight to DVD.  The answer is that it’s a horror movie, and horror movies exist in a realm I like to call “Opposite World.”  In Opposite World, terrible movies get 12 sequels, good actors are avoided like sh’t-stained vagrants, and only the most unoriginal ox vomit is rewarded. And their favorite bread? Sourdough.  Seriously though, sourdough is terrible.  If you like it better than french bread you’re retarded.