I love this picture so much I want to liquify it and squirt it in my butt with a turkey baster (no homo)

If you asked me what my favorite Christmas movie was, it’d be no contest, because, to my knowledge, there’s only one Christmas movie that features gratuitous use of the word “buttf*ck.”  You might think gratuitous “buttf*cks” and a holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus are contradictory, but only if you’d never met a Catholic girl.  Anyway, according to a recent interview with Billy Bob, a Bad Santa sequel isn’t around out of the realm of possibilities.

Would you ask Tom Petty that question, Collider?

“‘Bad Santa’ [has] become like a classic Christmas movie. People watch ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ and ‘Miracle on 34th St.’ and Bad Santa now is sort of the box set. And there’s been talk of making a sequel to it, which I actually would like to do. I’ve never done a sequel to one of my movies, but that one makes sense to me to do it.”

I’m living proof of that whole first part, I’m just not sure it means a sequel is a good idea.  For one, they already used “Badder Santa” as the title of the unrated version, which means they’d have to call this one Bad 2anta or something.  For another, it just wouldn’t be the same without the real star of Bad Santa, Thurman Merman.  I laughed every single time he was on screen, but that was almost eight years ago.  I imagine he’s turned into Danny Masterson since then, and everyone hates that guy.

Billy Bob Thornton’s band, The Boxmasters, was forced to cancel the rest of their Canadian tour.  You may remember that during Thornton’s radio hissy fit he compared Canadian fans to “mashed potatoes with no gravy,” whatever the f*ck that means.

The Boxmasters opened for Willie Nelson on Thursday in Toronto, where they reportedly were booed and met with catcalls of “Here comes the gravy.”  A note posted on Nelson’s Web site Friday said the Boxmasters were canceling the rest of their Canadian dates “due to one band member and several of the crew having the flu.”

And if you believe that, I’ve got a dick-shaped microphone into which you might be interested in speaking.

“Canadian audiences seem to be very reserved,” Thornton had told interviewer Rian Ghomeshi. “We tend to play places where people throw things at each other. Here, they just sort of sit there. And it doesn’t matter what you say to ‘em. … It’s mashed potatoes but no gravy.”  Before his Thursday night gig, Thornton tried to clarify those remarks, saying he loved Canada and his “mashed potatoes” comment had been aimed at Ghomeshi. [Yahoo]

He also clarified that by “places where people throw things at each other,” he meant his bassist’s kitchen, the only venue they played stateside.  As it turns out, the kids hate peas.  And crappy music.

Billy Bob Thornton went on Canadian radio the other day to talk about his band. But when the host had the audacity to mention that Billy Bob Thornton was also an actor and Oscar-winning screenwriter, the interview was basically over as far as Billy Bob was concerned.  But instead of saying what he was mad about, he simply chose to act really weird prior to the inevitable meltdown.  Here’s the exchange starting at 5:17 of the interview:

INTERVIEWER (Jian Ghomeshi): And that was true for you Billy Bob?  Sort of a combination of Stones and Monkees and buck Owens?

BILLY BOB: …I just liked baseball when I was a kid.

INT: …Heh. And you almost became a professional baseball player, right?

BILLY BOB: I dunno.  …Maybe.

INT: You didn’t love music when you were a kid?

BILLY BOB: Uh… Uh… I subscribed to a magazine called Famous Monsters of Film Land.  The publisher was guy named Forrest J. Ackerman, who passed away recently.

INT: Do you remember what you were listening to musically, when you were a kid?

BILLY BOB: They had a contest, where you could build your own model, and it could be like a King Kong, or it could be anything… they made these plastic models in those days, that you could buy and then put together.  But this was like a thing you could create your own world of it.  Make telephone poles and make the railroad tracks and everything.  And uh.. I actually did enter it once.  I didn’t win anything.  But I gave it a shot.  It was a big deal for us kids in those days.

INT: Uh… and uh, where was the music in all that?

BILLY BOB: Uh… music?  No, it was a monster magazine.

INT: …Right.  But given that you seem to be quite passionate about music, I was wondering about your-

BILLY BOB: Would you say that about Tom Petty? [6:55 of the video]

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