(It was all a Three’s Company-esque misunderstanding.)
Powered by adolescent fantasy and whipped cream straight from the dispenser, Twilight Saga: New Moon had one of the biggest, fattest opening weekends of all time.
*puts down thesaurus, whistles innocently*
No doubt benefiting from a “Twilight bump”, number two The Blind Side made $34.5 million, because as everyone knows, if the sparkly vegetarian vampires are sold out, the next best thing is Sandra Bullock teaching a black kid to pass block. Blind Side’s opening would’ve been good enough for number one on most weekends, and actually set the record for “highest-grossing sports drama opening” of all time. Tough luck, Coach Carter, we’re going to have to forget you ever existed again.
(This week’s Box-Office Wipe Up brought to you by Roland Emmerich’s evil twin, Rolando Emmerich.)
2012 made $65 million over the weekend, which isn’t surprising considering everyone knew about it. Though it should be noted that Roland Emmerich’s last movie, The Day After Tomorrow, actually opened bigger at $68.7 million, and I don’t know think I know anyone who saw that movie. Also… aren’t they the same movie? What’s going on here?
A Christmas Carol dropped only 25% since it’s opening last weekend, leading many to believe it will continue to play into actual Christmas and leaving little hope that Robert Zemeckis will ever abandon this ridiculous motion-capture experiment. We get it, dude, you like computers.
Precious is tearing it up, thanks to Oprah’s Midas ham hands. Either that or it’s doing well because the main character is so hot. Seriously, do any of you have her number? I want to get all up in her Shar Pei folds. Just like I did with my Shar Pei.
The Final Destination won the weekend again with a lackluster $12.4 mil, down 54.6% from its first weekend, which is actually pretty good for a crappy horror film. Do we even have to still keep calling these “horror films”? That seems like giving them too much credit. How about “loud noise flicks”.
All About Steve pulled in $11.2 million for number two, which is sad considering it is, to my knowledge, the worst reviewed film of the year. Jesus, could they make the poster look any more like Simple Jack? What the f’ck is she doing? Why the f’ck is she holding an umbrella? Who the f’ck’s idea was this? You’ve done it again, Fox execs. Here, have a herring and a red ball to balance on your snout.
Elsewhere, Inglourious Basterds landed in the three spot (which your mom lets me do sometimes) and should cross $100 million in a few weeks.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince topped the box office, earning $159.7 mil in five days, making it the best start of all the Potter movies and the sixth highest 5-day gross of all time. It also broke a foreign box office record with $237 mil in 54 countries. But this is America, we don’t care about that.
[Pictured: Some vandals dorks in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin have spread Harry Potter fever to the city's stop signs. I'd assume they had something better to do but it was either this or butter sculpting.]
Elsewhere, Brüno dropped almost 73% in its second weekend, which is a shame because I saw it and wasn’t disappointed in the least (a talking urethra, people!). It fell to number four and though it’ll earn out, it’s not going to pull Borat numbers. Meanwhile, The Hangover is a phenomenon at this point, staying at number five in its seventh week of release (Up is the only other movie in the top 10 that’s been out longer, at eight weeks) and grossing almost $236 million total. And lastly, I Love You Beth Cooper is almost out of the top ten with just $2.7 million, which is $2.7 million more than that flaming diarrhea deserves. Full top 10 after the jump.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince earned $104 million worldwide yesterday, setting a one-day international box office record.
The U.S.-Canadian tally, which includes a record $22.2 million from midnight showings, marks the second-biggest Wednesday opening domestically. Only last month’s “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” scored a bigger midweek first-day gross, with $62 million in domestic ticket sales on Wednesday June 24, according to Paul Dergarabedian, box office analyst for Hollywood.com.
The latest “Harry Potter” ($58.18 million in North America) also ranks as the fourth-highest single-day gross for a film release in North America, behind No. 1 “Dark Knight” ($67.1 million), No. 2 “Transformers: Revenge,” and third-place “Spider-Man 3″ ($59.8 million).
The first five films in the franchise, one of the most lucrative in Hollywood history, have so far taken in about $4.5 billion collectively at the global box office. [AP]
Meanwhile, box office records weren’t the only records Harry Potter was breaking, as Daniel Radcliffe broke the record for looking like a porcelain doll that rapes.
[Harry Potter tattoos via GWS]
