After the jump I’ve got the trailer for The Book of Eli, from the Hughes Brothers and Denzel Washington.  The cool thing about Cormac McCarthy’s The Road is that it’s a post-apocalyptic story that isn’t really about what caused the apocalypse, nor is the plot concerned with saving humanity.  Basically, it’s a post-apocalyptic story that isn’t a generic post-apocalyptic story. Meanwhile The Book of Eli looks like it began as someone reading The Road and then going, “hmmm, how can we turn this into a generic post-apocalyptic story?”  

Denzel Washington stars as a lone warrior named Eli, who fights his way across the desolate wasteland of near-future America to realize his destiny and deliver the knowledge that can bring civilization back from the brink of destruction and save the future of humanity.

Denzel Washington is “the one,” you see, but the bad guys want to kill him.  He’s like a cross between Jesus and Keanu Reeves!  Haha, “a cross”, get it?  Biblical references, everyone! (*fart sound*)

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USA Today has a new batch of pictures of Denzell Washington in The Book of Eli, from the Hughes Brothers (who, unlike the Coen brothers, are actual brothers – the cool kind).  If the pictures look familiar, it’s because this movie is a lot like The Road.

In a post-apocalyptic world, a lone hero (Washington) guards the Book of Eli, which provides knowledge that could redeem society. The despot of a small, makeshift town (Oldman) plans to take possession of the book. [Wiki]

In this frame, says co-director Allen Hughes, Elie comes upon a fork in the road. “Eli’s iPod has run out of juice and to the right is the road that leads into Carnagie’s (Gary Oldman) town.  Eli makes the decision to go into town, power up his iPod and refill his canteen.” [USA Today - a few more pictures there]

And the script was written by the editor-in-chief of PC Gamer, which is perfect because video game concepts are like movie concepts that have been warmed over and generalized. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go into town and power up my wrist for a dismissive wank.  A dismissive wank that will post the apocalypse.