Philip Seymour Hoffman is the only actor I can think of that can be described as “creepy” or “a pervert,” and it’s meant as a compliment. He’s a dependably fantastic actor who can play the lead (Capote), the bully who hates yahoo touchers, (My Boyfriend’s Back), the drugged-out journalist (Almost Famous), the assistant (The Big Lebowski), the guy who gets set on fire while in a wheelchair (Red Dragon), the villain (Mission: Impossible III), and the guy who has sex with Marisa Tomei in the first scene of a movie (Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead), all with equal aplomb. But mostly, he’s the creepy dude.

In honor of The Master, which teams PSH with director Paul Thomas Anderson for the fifth time, here are the eight creepiest roles in Philip Seymour Hoffman’s creepy career.

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While here in the states, we’re gearing up for Mark Wahlberg’s probably Oscar-winning performance in ed to slap his friends in the face with the prosthetic penis he wore in Boogie Nights.

The former undercrackers model ['undercrackers'? 'UNDERCRACKERS??!' Okay, now you're just inventing fake slang to F with us.] played a porn star in the 1997 movie and famously revealed the oversized manhood in the film’s final scene.
Now The Other Guys star has confessed that he pinched the 13 inch prosthetic penis from the set and used it to shock his mates.
He said: “I used to keep it in my desk drawer. And I’d take it out and slap my friends in the face with it.
“I don’t keep many things from my movies, but that just seemed to have personal significance.” [TheSun]

Hey, Mahky, stawp hittin’ me with yoah wienah, wouldja?  Ya almost spilled my chowdah!  I mean heah I am, watchin’ da Sawx, tryna eat some chowdah, and this hahd on keeps hittin me wit his fake wienah.  What is yoah prawblem?  I don’t like ya fake cawk, Mahky! GET THAT IN YOAH HEAD!

Anyway, I think the important thing to remember here, ladies, is that the penis was a prosthetic, and in no way representative of real life.  In fact, according to my research, the Boogie Nights prosthesis was actually four to seven times bigger than the largest recorded penis size in human science.  FACT.

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