The New York Post today has more information of the ridiculously expensive Spider-Man musical for which U2 wrote the music (as if you needed to know more than that).

The phrase “Broadway musical” doesn’t seem grand enough to convey the size and scope of “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark,” [Ed Note: ???] which is due to open in New York in January 2010.  Spider-Man, added director Julie Taymor, “is not going to sing and dance in tights.”

Hmm.  It’s a broadway show about a guy who wears tights. How the hell else could it possibly go?

A better description of her show, she suggested, is a “circus rock-’n'-roll drama.”  [Ahh, our bad] As Spider-Man, Peter clashes with a parade of Marvel villains — Green Goblin, Carnage, Electro, Rhino, Swarm and Lizard.  Berger and Taymor have invented a new baddie for the show — Swiss Miss, whose costume, designed by Oscar winner Eiko Ishioka (“Bram Stoker’s Dracula”), consists of rotating knives and swirling corkscrews.

I know this probably goes without saying, but the decision-making of the folks in charge here really isn’t inspiring much hope. Spider-Man has been around for 47 years now, and yet they decided they needed a new villain, which they promptly named after hot chocolate.  And anyway, if I were naming a Spider-Man villian after sweets (and let’s be clear, I’m not) I would’ve gone with… LORNA DOOM!

_{Homophobic Turtle is not pleased.  (…Or is he??)}

Julie Taymor’s plan to turn Spider-Man into a thuper fabulouth musical will finally come out of the closet in February 2010, EOnline reports.

“Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” [Editor's note: you're f-cking kidding me, right?] the hyped stage musical directed by Julie Taymor (The Lion King) with music and lyrics courtesy of U2′s Bono and The Edge, will kick off what its producers hope will be an amazing run beginning with previews on Jan. 16, 2010, and a Feb. 18, 2010, opening night.

The $40 million effort, reportedly the most expensive Broadway production ever, will make its debut in the Hilton Theatre, the only venue big enough to allow the superhero room to spin his way around the sprawling skyscraper sets while duking it out with various bad guys.

According to a previous report, the show would have to run 8,000 years just to break even (I was going to do the math to verify that claim, but then I was like, “Nah”).  But for an artist like Julie Taymor, clearly this isn’t about the money.  It’s been truly a labor of love.  The love of getting washed-up rockstars to write uninspired songs about a movie that came out 10 years ago.

National Geographic Cinemas has picked up the concert documentary U2 3D.

U2 3D will be released in late January in 3-D only.

The film was shot in South America during the band’s "Vertigo" tour entirely in digital 3-D. [ComingSoon]

It’s too bad Bono’s mom didn’t use RU486, and if that didn’t work, pull a 187.  The thing I’m most impressed with is that even with a guy named "The Edge" in the band, he can still come off as the most pretentious A-hole.

In related news, Bono and Sean Penn were in Africa for photo ops recently when they both tried to save the same baby and TORE IT IN HALF!  <:-0