After the jump, I’ve got your trailer for Bollywood’s Ghandi to Hitler (ooh, sounds just like From Justin to Kelly!), which is variously called Dear Friend Hitler. I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s got a shot of Hitler, then a shot of Ghandi, then a young girl in a white dress running through a field in slow motion, then back to Hitler, then BOOM! Girl in the white dress takes a bullet in the chest with an exploding squib. PUNCH A HOOKER IN THE MOUTH, THAT IS SOME DAMN FINE EDITING!  We freeze on the dead girl, then back to Hitler, then the trailer promises a “CLASH OF IDEOLOGIES.”  And if that clash of ideologies doesn’t end with Ghandi and Hitler doing a duet dance number in a field somewhere, everything I know about Bollywood cinema is wrong.  God damn this looks awesome.

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Not too long ago, I brought you the trailer for the Indian film Endhiran, the most expensive Indian movie ever made, a movie which featured a giant snake made of robot men slithering around and eating cars, a film so good people bathed the poster in milk and showered screens with flowers, a film Danger Guerrero described as “like if Michael Bay had a baby with Michael Bay.”

Today I bring you the trailer for another Indian film, RA.One, which stands for “Random Access Version 1.0.”  This one doesn’t have any giant cobras made of robot men (we may have to wait for version 2.0 for that), but it does have one robot man (or computer man, anyway) throwing cars and breaking the sidewalk like a boss (which is all the rage these days).  And because he’s Indian, he’s not immune to the touch of a woman or the lure of song.  If things go well, who knows, maybe we’ll see an appearance by the dancing condoms, if you know what I mean.  Also, I like the idea of a computerized action hero set in India.  If he breaks down, tech support is right there. It would be like an iPad rampaging through the genius bar.

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India’s most expensive movie ever, Endhiran, aka The Robot, aka A Giant Cobra Made of Robot Men Slithers Around Eating Cars, opened in India in three languages last Friday, and surprise surprise, the $35 million-budgeted romp is breaking box-office records.  And if the crew didn’t celebrate by dancing, everything I know about India is wrong.

“In the opening weekend, all the three versions of Robot have together collected 950 million rupees (21 million dollars), the highest-ever in India,” said Komal Nahta, a Bollywood trade analyst.  …with sales twice that of the previous record opener — Bollywood star Salman Khan’s recent hit “Dabaang”.
Accurate box office figures are hard to come by in India. An independent industry website, boxofficeindia.com, said “Endhiran” had taken in 12.4 million dollars over the weekend — a far lower estimate, but still a record.

Theatres are running shows of Endhiran as early as 4:00am in star Rajinikanth’s stronghold southern city of Chennai, where fans have been seen queuing up for tickets.
In Chennai, a 61-foot-poster was created close to a theatre where the movie was released. Some fans washed the poster with milk — as offered to Hindu Gods — a sign of purity. Some celebrated the release by bursting crackers, beating drums and showering the movie screen with flowers.
In Mumbai, Bollywood’s hometown, fans offered prayers at a local theatre and the reel of the movie was offered in worship at a nearby temple, after which it was made available for public viewing.

In related news, M. Night Shyamalan recently cut short a jog after he was hit by a bag of dog poop from a passing car.

Man, between making hit movies and hiring big, angry monkeys to scare away the smaller monkeys, it seems like India’s got it all figured out.

India’s most expensive film ever made, Endhiran, aka Robot, has a new trailer out, and even though it’s not as long as the last one I posted, you better believe I’m posting every scrap of video I can from this insanely badass-looking movie.  This looks like Michael Bay’s wildest wet dream, but with more dancing, and probably less ebonics.

What if Bollywood created a movie with equal parts Iron Man, I, Robot, Bicentennial Man and featured the score of Academy Award-winning composer A.R. Rahman (Slumdog Millionaire)? S. Shankar’s The Robot looks to be that movie. The film features Rajnikanth in dual roles, as a science professor and a superintelligent android robot.’ [/Film]

I still prefer my previous synopsis, “a giant cobra made of robot men slithers around eating cars.”  But you know what they say. Would a giant cobra made of robot men by any other name not still make you want to sing and dance?  …Something like that.

So the Robot gets eyebrows, but no mustache? Your rare displays of restraint sadden me.

This fall… EXTREME! GETS! OUTSOURCED!  (*double curry to chesty*)

I never saw I Robot, but having seen this trailer for the Indian film, Endhiran, aka The Robot, which looks a lot like I Robot, I must conclude that American filmmakers could learn a lot from Indian filmmakers.  I never would have been able to not see I Robot if it had had what this film has, namely singing, dancing, sex appeal, and yes, a giant cobra made of robot men that slithers around eating cars.  You could put pretty much anything in a movie about a giant cobra made of robot men that slithers around eating cars and I’d still want to see it, even Cam Gigandet.

The stunts were choreographed by the famous Yuen Woo Ping (The Matrix, Kill Bill), with animatronics from Stan Winston Studios, and music by AR Rahman (Slumdog Millionaire).  It’s reportedly the most expensive Indian film ever made at $32 million, which I assume translates to roughly $86 billion in first-world dollars*, and opens overseas later this month.  HOLY CRAP, did you see the guy walk in with robot tigers on lightning leashes?  Now that’s an entrance.  Michael Bay wept. (And then dried his tears with a planned 10-kiloton explosion).

*not exact figures

[via Blastr]