Director Philip Noyce, who most recently filmed 100-pound waif Angelina Jolie parkouring off overpasses, truck-surfing, and pummeling trained soldiers in Salt, is set to bring his trademark realism to a remake of the 1988 Jean-Claude Van Damme classic, Bloodsport.  It’s all part of Hollywood’s ongoing initiative, “Hey, Remember the 80s?”

Veteran producer Ed Pressman is in Cannes with news on three projects. Pressman has closed deals with Phillip Noyce to direct and Robert Mark Kamen to script a reinvention of iconic Jean Claude Van Damme actioner Bloodsport (1988).

Alberto Lensi is producing with Pressman. The story will follow an American who goes to Brazil to recover from the violence he has experienced in Afghanistan who gets involved in a martial arts contest. [ScreenDaily]

Gosh, I wonder if it will include cameos by some of mixed martial arts’ hottest stars.  Pressman, meanwhile, is also producing the remake of The Crow starring goth icon Bradley Cooper, which makes him something of a titan in the field of awesome-idea having.  Today’s announcement comes just as Kevin James’ MMA-saves-the-rec-center film, Here Comes the Boom, is midway through filming.  Perhaps they could start over and just combine two projects into one zany, MMA-themed romp, Blartsport Beware his deadly fists, and even deadlier farts.

And for no reason at all, here’s a picture of Chuck Liddell with Taboo from the Black-Eyed Peas.  Is he wearing… his own voodoo doll as a necklace? [via CagePotato]

Even though JCVD turned an awesome concept into an annoying film school masturbation, it was worth it for bringing Van Damme back into the media spotlight.  Not even Steven Seagal does a better interview.

“You know, like, we’re gonna do Bloodsport 2,” he told us in a recent interview. “Which was my first movie. And I want to do it now in a very mature way, where the guy from Bloodsport is a complete bum, maybe abusing his son.”

[On encountering resistance from the studio] “They told me, ‘No, no, no!  You cannot make a movie in America where a father is abusing his son physically! It’s wrong.”

“And you cannot be a guy on drugs doing karate and shit like that.’ I said, ’Why? Why? Tell me why.’  It’s against the rules of success. But I believe the other rules of success. To show something real.” [TotalFilm]

Dear Studio Exec: Think about it, Bloodsport 2: Child Abuse and Drugs and Karate and Shit, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Gary Busey.  The world is counting on you.