Blockbuster filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last week with plans to close down as many as 800 stores (interestingly, their $1 billion dollars of debt is only a fourth of MGM‘s), and in response, Consumerist created this infographic.  As they say themselves:

Yes, this is a gross oversimplification, but you know… whatever.

I don’t even know what the numbers on the side of the graph mean, but I agree with those other people who don’t care either.  F8ck  Blockbuster.  They came in, drove out all the independent video stores with decent porn collections, played ad reels of crappy Viacom movies instead of old cool stuff on the store TVs, quadrupled late fees, and started censoring movies.  Not to mention a pretty crappy selection.  I haven’t been so excited to see something fail since my step-brother Ted.  Yeah, how’s the real estate business now, a-hole?  Maybe you can pawn one of your sweet ties.

(Schadenfreude Sloth would like to open an account.  F’ck, even he thinks you retards take forever.)

Great news, everyone. That huge video chain who put all the independent video stores out of business, then charged double everyone else’s late fees while hiring clerks too apathetic and surly to work at Kinko’s, just announced that they’ll be shutting down 960 of their stores.

It’s no secret Blockbuster has been closing stores at a rapid clip, but the 960-figure [about 20% of its 4400 stores] is more than twice what was previously expected. Blockbuster could close as many as 685 stores this year and 275 next year.  Blockbuster, as has been chronicled ad nauseam, has been hemorrhaging money and customers because of competitive threats mostly from Netflix and Redbox.

Die, pigs, die!  Die, pigs, die!  Die, pigs, die!

The company has its own responses to those threats, of course. And, in fact, if it expands its Redbox-like offering from 500 kiosks now to 10,000 a year from now, as it says it will, Blockbuster’s presence could actually be larger by the end of 2010 than it is today, despite the store closings. [THR]

Die, pi– wait, what?  You mean they’re not going out of business?  Aw, crap.  Oh well, guess there’s always plan B.  (*throws gas can into back of truck, lights cigar*)