Blade needed special lenses to protect his corneas from Edward’s dazzling, sparkling whiteness.  Bella and Edward were terrified of Blade because he was a negro.  Of course, I’m just speculating here.  I haven’t actually seen it, because I’m allergic to Cam Gigandet.

[via theJohnBlog via Scifiwire via /Film]

UPDATE: Another improved, alternate ending after the jump:

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Wesley Snipes, who was most recently replaced by Derek Luke in Spike Lee’s next picture, reportedly had some interesting excuses for not paying the taxes he owes on $38 million.

Federal prosecutors presented letters from Wesley Snipes in which the actor declares himself "a nonresident alien" of the United States and faults the IRS for efforts to "terrorize, enslave, rape or pillage" taxpayers during his tax evasion trial in Florida, according to a report in the Ocala Star-Banner.

I ate at a fancy restaurant once, and when the manager came to hassle me about the bill, I just yelled, "She’s trying to rape me!" and pointed at the waitress.  My date was not impressed.  But in Snipes’ defense, the IRS representative was wearing a helmet with horns in it. 

Snipes also allegedly wrote a harshly worded letter to federal employees in response to his indictment.

"Warning – pursuit of such a high profile target will open the door for your increased collateral risk," Snipes wrote in the letter reported on by the Star-Banner. "I certainly don’t believe this is in your best interest."

Ahh yes, when in doubt, confuse them with business words you don’t understand. "If you choose to prosecute me, you may wake up to find your asset portfolio in Chapter 11 and diversified bears roaming the market." 

Snipes attorney Robert Barnes denied the comments were intended as a threat.

"Not at all, not at all," Barnes was quoted in the Star-Banner. "A lot of it was very gentle."

I don’t even want to know. 

[Thanks to Stone Soup for the tip. Your smack is so fresh.]