Laziest. Photoshop. Ever.

Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin have split up, their reps confirmed to the New York Post recently.  In an even more shocking development, Mila Kunis was dating Macaulay Culkin.  Sources say the relationship took a turn for the worse when Mila Kunis realized she had been dating Macaulay Culkin. Thanks, folks, I’ll be here all day, try the veal.  Whackety schmackety do!  Heeeey! So I hoid he refused to perform Kunilingus, and now he’s Home Alon– (*pie to the groin*)

Did Mila Kunis’ breakout role in “Black Swan” contribute to a breakup for the actress, who’s flirting with movie stardom? Kunis’ rep confirms that she and one-time child star Macaulay Culkin have gone their separate ways. “The split was amicable, and they remain close friends,” her rep said. Kunis started dating Culkin seven years ago, when she starred as the snobby “Jackie” character in “That ’70s Show.” A source said the couple split some time ago but has kept it low-key while Kunis promotes the movie. [NY Post]

Macauley’s going to get a hard time over this, but considering he’s a former child actor who used to hang out with Michael Jackson, just the fact that he’s never killed a family of boaters and tried to cut off his own penis in prison puts him ahead of the game.  Lights Camera Jackson should be so lucky.

Meanwhile, Black Swan is now responsible for Natalie Portman getting knocked up and Mila Kunis being single. …I guess it evens out?  They should film some more lesbian ballerinas, just in case.

Our video editor Oliver dug up this deleted scene from Black Swan.  It’s the one after the lesbian one with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.  This one has a dog.

MORNING LINKS

• Why “Schwartzenegger Vs. EMA” Proves That Parents Are The Weak Link. |Uproxx|

• Warming Glow picks the best shows of 2010.  No cake shows? Bullsh*t. |WarmingGlow|

• Conan Show Redesigns DC’s Superheroines |GammaSquad|

• Polish youth soccer fans are insane.  I’m still waiting to hear that this video was viral marketing. |WithLeather|

• A Christmas Story from Snoop Dog. |SmokingSection|

• Caption this pantsless Four Loko drinker. |NYCBarstoolSports|

Picture via RobotinDisguise

• Guy outside bar keeps daring bouncer to shove him into a gutter.  Bouncer oblige. Like 8 times in a row. KNOCK HIM DOWN MORE. |TheDailyWhat|

• VIDEO: Guy Pre-Games By Pˆle Grenade,’ Films it For the Internet. |BroBible|

• 21 breakout stars of 2010.  Boom. |NextMovie|

• 25 completely preposterous pictures of Flavor Flav. |HolyTaco|

• SUPERCUT: Women in labor. No, not women working, women sitting on their fat asses and having babies. |Screenjunkies|

• Grandma Reads 50 Cent’s Tweets. |Buzzfeed|

• Five Christmas movies to avoid like the plague. Hey, what about that one with Gandolfini? |Fark|

• Jessica Canizales is good and smashing her boobs together. |GorillaMask|

• The Robot Chicken Christmas special. |AdultSwim|

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The Golden Globe nominations were released today, and I know what you’re all thinking: sorry, better luck next year, Channing Tatum. Anyway, I was all set to explain why the Golden Globes are a sham voted on by a shady group of foreign “journalists” who can basically be bought off with a nice gift bag, but then I noticed that among the nominations for best picture (musical or comedy) were Alice in Wonderland, Burlesque, Red, and The Tourist.  I mean, that pretty much says it all right there.

And of course Johnny Depp got a best actor nod for Alice, because if there’s one thing the Hollywood Foreign Press loves, it’s famous actors in silly costumes dancing.  Are the Golden Globes voted on by the same people who watch Mexican sitcoms?  Because that would totally make sense.

BEST MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
Black Swan (with obligatory picture)
The Fighter
Inception
The King’s Speech
The Social Network

BEST MOTION PICTURE, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Alice in Wonderland
Burlesque
The Kids Are All Right
Red
The Tourist

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After the jump, you can watch a pretty swell mash up of Black Swan and the Paul Verhoeven nipple-core epic, Showgirls, the dolphin-flopping orgasmest movie of 1995  (Mr. Holland’s Opus being a close second).  Watching it, I was surprised at how well audio from the Black Swan trailer corresponds with the events in Showgirls. #ObviousMashUpCompliments.

[below video NSFW, for brief nudity]

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I DON’T SWAN LAKE YOU IN THAT WAY

Black Swan is a strange film to review, mainly because it’s a really strange film.  But hey, it’s a Darren Aronofsky movie about ballet, you know you’re not getting The Blind Side.  It’s more like the most twisted and psychologically taut episode of Fame you’ll ever see, complete with ecstasy trips and scissoring.

Swan centers on mousy Nina, played by Natalie Portman, one of the top ballerinas at the New York City Ballet, the NFL of professional ballerinery.  Aronofsky originally envisioned Black Swan and The Wrestler as one movie, and the way he meticulously recreates all the foot taping, leg warming, toe-cracking action inside the gossipy plié coven is a lot like the gritty locker-room scenes in The Wrestler in its attempt to nail all the little details of a subculture.  We catch up with Nina as she competes for the lead role in this season’s production of Swan Lake.  To land the part, she’ll have to convince her arrogant, lecherous French (is there any other kind?) director (Vincent Cassel) that she’s capable of playing not only the innocent White Swan, but also her evil twin, the malevolent temptress Black Swan who spreads her greasy swan legs all over town and soon seduces the White Swan’s true love with her sweet swan poon.  But how will the innocent, high-strung Nina ever loosen up and discover her dark side?  Why, only through an erotic journey of self-discovery full of drugs, self pleasure, and Mila Kunis’ sapphic charms, of course.  Dear Penthouse, last night I was completely naked save for a tutu and ball gag….

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