After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for Bitch Slap, but to be honest, I’m giving you the best parts with these screencaps.  It seems to be a movie about tits, but apparently these tits went to college and got all uppity or something (that’s why I only date dropouts).

BITCH SLAP is a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the “B” Movie/Exploitation films of the 1950’s – 70’s, as well as a loving, sly parody of the same. Inspired by the likes of Dragstrip Girl;, Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill; Kung Fu Nun and the pantheon of Blaxploitation films, BITCH SLAP will mix girls, guns, outrageous action and jaw-dropping visuals with a message… don’t be naughty! [Apple]

A post-modern tits and violence movie, eh?  I guess that means I have to roll my eyes derisively while I ‘bate.  Oh, and full disclosure, Mr. Skin says this one contains only ‘brief nudity.’  Pass.  I’m not saying nudity’s the only reason to see a movie — it’s not the dark ages, you can get fetish porn at the public library now — just that when you take away the promise of nudity in this one, you’re left with horrible acting and warmed over Tarantino references.  Note: ‘Campy’ is not the same thing as ‘funny’. Have you ever camped? It sucks. You basically drive out to the woods and pretend to be poor.

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Bitch Slap recently released a new trailer (after the jump), this time with even more boobs and explosions.  It also treats us to one-liners like, “Blow me, you psycho rugmuncher!” and “Ram this in your clambake, bitchcake!”  First of all, why does he want her to blow him if she’s a rugmuncher?  And how does a clam become a “clambake”?  Do I even want to know?  And wouldn’t a clambake be like a fishfry or a pig roast?  How do you shove something into a food party?  Then there’s this exchange:

“Your only purpose in life is to serve men and get their dicks hard!”
“Well, a girl’s gotta eat.”

Wait, so is she only getting my dick hard so she can eat it?  This whole thing is just confusing.  Look, I’m all for girls showing their boobs and blowing stuff up, but the double entendres need work.
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After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for Bitch Slap, starring some people I’ve vaguely heard of and a bunch of boobs I want to squeeze.  The filmmakers say:

"a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the "B" Movie/Exploitation films of the 1950′s – 70′s as well as a loving, sly parody of the same,"

I say:

Hey look, tits!   *jumps up and down clapping palms together* 

Fun Fact: Bitch Slap also stars Kevin Sorbo

Related Fun Fact:  Kevin Sorbo is still alive