You may remember Jeff Smith from previous Supercuts such as “You Just Don’t Get It, Do You!” and Glove Actually part one, but it’s fine if you don’t, because he’s back with a new one, Glove, Actually 2: Glove Harder – More of Cinema’s Greatest Slaps.” It’s a full NINE MINUTES OF SLAPS. If that doesn’t sound entertaining to you, you’ve never seen someone get slapped, there are truly few things as entertaining. And before you ask, yes, it does feature Sean Connery slapping a woman (on the ass). Oh, and Ronald Reagan too (in the face). It’s too bad Reagan’s dead and Connery’s retired. I’d give anything to see them team up to save the Earth from an army of hysterical women, using only the righteous palms of patriarchy.
After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for Bitch Slap, but to be honest, I’m giving you the best parts with these screencaps. It seems to be a movie about tits, but apparently these tits went to college and got all uppity or something (that’s why I only date dropouts).
BITCH SLAP is a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the “B” Movie/Exploitation films of the 1950’s – 70’s, as well as a loving, sly parody of the same. Inspired by the likes of Dragstrip Girl;, Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill; Kung Fu Nun and the pantheon of Blaxploitation films, BITCH SLAP will mix girls, guns, outrageous action and jaw-dropping visuals with a message… don’t be naughty! [Apple]
A post-modern tits and violence movie, eh? I guess that means I have to roll my eyes derisively while I ‘bate. Oh, and full disclosure, Mr. Skin says this one contains only ‘brief nudity.’ Pass. I’m not saying nudity’s the only reason to see a movie — it’s not the dark ages, you can get fetish porn at the public library now — just that when you take away the promise of nudity in this one, you’re left with horrible acting and warmed over Tarantino references. Note: ‘Campy’ is not the same thing as ‘funny’. Have you ever camped? It sucks. You basically drive out to the woods and pretend to be poor.
Bitch Slap recently released a new trailer (after the jump), this time with even more boobs and explosions. It also treats us to one-liners like, “Blow me, you psycho rugmuncher!” and “Ram this in your clambake, bitchcake!” First of all, why does he want her to blow him if she’s a rugmuncher? And how does a clam become a “clambake”? Do I even want to know? And wouldn’t a clambake be like a fishfry or a pig roast? How do you shove something into a food party? Then there’s this exchange:
“Your only purpose in life is to serve men and get their dicks hard!” “Well, a girl’s gotta eat.”
Wait, so is she only getting my dick hard so she can eat it? This whole thing is just confusing. Look, I’m all for girls showing their boobs and blowing stuff up, but the double entendres need work. Read the rest of this entry »