Mother of God, is that a Hawaiian shirt made out of peacock feathers? WANT.

It may seem like we’ve seen a lot of trailers for Steven Soderbergh’s Liberace movie lately, but one of those was actually The Great Gatsby trailer. In any case, today brings the longest trailer yet for Behind the Candelabra, which premieres May 26th, starring Michael Douglas as Liberace and Matt Damon as his lovaah Scott Thorsen (please, no lisp jokes). Soderbergh has been on a roll after Magic Mike and Side Effects, so I’d love to see him prove all the studios who thought it was “too gay” – this in a world where Glee enjoys wild popularity and the Disney Channel styles all of its stars like fastidious homosexuals – wrong.

But I dunno, man. First Jeremy Irons says I have to gay marry my dad, and now the guy from Basic Instinct has to play the gayest man in the world? Thanks a lot, Obama.

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In a stunning move for a movie with creative capitalization in the title that seems to be based on the idea that the star kind of looks like the subject, jOBS has been delayed indefinitely. If I was Ashton Kutcher, I’d be crying into a groupie’s boobs on my space yacht somewhere right now.

The release date of the Steve Jobs biopic that stars Ashton Kutcher has quietly been postponed. jOBS, which closed the Sundance Film Festival this year, had been set by Five Star Films and its distributor Open Road for April 19. It has moved off that date, and a new date has not been determined. Five Star made a service release deal with Open Road before the festival started, and the film’s backers were eager to release on the month that marks the 37th anniversary of Jobs founding Apple. They’ve found instead that there wasn’t enough time to prepare for a proper release and create buzz for the film. [Deadline]

Not enough time to create buzz, huh? Really? You can’t just release another picture of Ashton Kutcher sort of looking like Steve Jobs again? That seems to be working so far. For a movie starring a television actor from the director of Swing State written by an unknown writer and produced by a guy who makes real estate textbooks, I’d say it’s already gotten an INSANE amount of buzz. But from the reviews, it doesn’t sound that bad. Maybe it will end up as a TV movie, where it probably always belonged in the first place. Here’s a nice plot rundown, courtesy of the Telegraph:

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I never got around to seeing In the Land of Blood and Honey, Angelina Jolie’s directorial debut from 2011, which she also wrote. But I heard good things from people who saw it, and now I have even more reason to see her next one, because the Coen Brothers are writing it.

Ethan and Joel Coen are teaming up with Angelina Jolie to tell the story of World War II hero Lou Zamperini.
Universal picked up the rights to Unbroken, by Lauren Hillebrand, in January 2011, initially for Francis Lawrence to direct. Jolie boarded as director in December. She has spent weeks searching for top-flight writers to tackle the project, with sources saying the director was extremely choosy.

Well it’s not like she has to rush, that’s the advantage of having enough money to last you six lifetimes. At least she has good taste.

Zamperini was a Los Angeles high school track star who raced in the 1936 Berlin Olympics. In 1943, his Air Force plane crashed in the Pacific. He survived without food and water for 47 days, enduring shark attacks, aerial attacks and hunger before washing ashore on a Japanese island behind enemy lines, where he was held as a prisoner of war for two years and tortured by his captors. [THR]

Here’s a little more from the Amazon description:

Ahead of Zamperini lay thousands of miles of open ocean, leaping sharks, a foundering raft, thirst and starvation, enemy aircraft, and, beyond, a trial even greater.  Driven to the limits of endurance, Zamperini would answer desperation with ingenuity; suffering with hope, resolve, and humor; brutality with rebellion.  His fate, whether triumph or tragedy, would be suspended on the fraying wire of his will.
In her long-awaited new book, Laura Hillenbrand writes with the same rich and vivid narrative voice she displayed in Seabiscuit.  Telling an unforgettable story of a man’s journey into extremity, Unbroken is a testament to the resilience of the human mind, body, and spirit.

They say you write what you know, and so far, Angelina has taken on a love story set during the Serb-Croat war, and now a survival drama about a shipwrecked WWII POW. You might be wondering, what experience could she possibly bring to this story? Well, Zamperini was a runner, and if you’ve seen Salt, you know that Angelina Jolie is basically the Usain Bolt of emaciated Oscar actresses.

I’m excited to see her direct the running scenes. “That’s it! Now pump your arms faster than your legs, and really try to loll your head loosely from side to side like your neck is made of rubber!”

No one’s set to star as of yet, but I’m thinking… Tom Cruise?

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When Al Pacino plays an eccentric, megalomaniacal music producer in a biopic written and directed by David Mamet, you can bet it’s a recipe for ACTING, with a capital A. The script might as well be in all caps, and when it premieres on HBO March 29th, you might want to add a sneeze guard to your flatscreen to keep from getting sprayed like the first two rows at a Shamu show. STAND BACK, EVERYONE! PACINO’S GONNA SHOUT SOME WORDS!

Regardless, Phil Spector should slake your thirst for goofy wigs and opulence until Soderbergh’s Liberace picture hits later this year. Spector tells the uplifting story of Spector’s relationship with his defense attorney, Helen Mirren as Linda Kenney Baden (who also worked with Casey Anthony), as Spector’s first trial for the murder of Lana Clarkson ended in a mistrial, and eventually got him 19 years for second-degree murder in a second trial. Pacino reportedly refused to meet with Spector, which probably helped him deliver lines like “FIRST time you got felt up – guess what? You were listenin’ to one a my sawngs!” with a straight face.

In any case, you can watch the trailer below, and click on for a cataloging and naming of all of Pacino’s wigs. This one up top, we call that the John 3:16.

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You may remember a while back that Lindsay Lohan was supposedly attached to a biopic about Deepthroat porn star Linda Lovelace. That project, sadly, fell through before the crew even had a chance to experience the joy of working with a mature professional like Lindsay. Now we have Lovelace, directed by Howl directors Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman, and starring Lindsay Lohan’s Mean Girls co-star Amanda Seyfried. Ah, Mean Girls, remember when Lindsay was the star and Amanda Seyfried was making her debut playing the dumb chick? There’s really no better illustration of their respective career paths than this.

Anyway, Lovelace is currently looking for a distributor at Sundance, and you can watch a clip below. It features creepy Wes Bentley asking her about the first time she had sex. She talks about her vagina as a delicate flower that opens in the sun and gets all loosened up to the point that it looks like she’s about to take her top off and let the creepy guy take pictures of her. Is this how Terry Richardson does it? Anyway, it’s an inspirational story of self-acceptance that every young girl should watch.

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