FORGOTTEN CLASSICS: ‘BINGO’, THE DOG PIMP

07.23.09 Written by Vince Mancini

Movie news can get a little slow at times.  Luckily, movie olds is a bottomless well of hilarity – and dog movies! Long story short, that’s why we have the Forgotten Classics segment.

As you may have noticed, Forgotten Classics skews heavily in favor of dog movies, but 1991′s Bingo may be the best one yet.  The Washington Post calls him “a bona fide star, sort of a canine Macauley Culkin.”  Seriously, they did!  In the trailer, Bingo proves that he can:

  • Get busted for DUI
  • Pick up on bitches
  • Hammer beers in his dog house
  • Drive a truck
  • Wave at other dogs with his paw
  • Get involved in a prison riot
  • Get the drop on a grizzly bear
  • Snort coke with a clown
  • Skateboard
  • Testify in a court of law

And most importantly, he can cover his face with his paws.  Dog-covering-his-face-with-paws is like the money shot of a dog movie, only more satisfying.  I’m pretty sure Bingo is the long lost cousin of Birthday Dog and Party Dog.  Party Dog knows where the bitches at, yo.

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SOME LADY: “WAAAH, BRUNO PARALYZED ME.”

06.03.09 Written by Vince Mancini

A woman is suing Sacha Baron Cohen, claiming he started a “brawl” at a bingo hall in 2007 that left her paralyzed below the puffy old-lady fro.  (Okay, I made that last part up).

Richelle Olson has sued Cohen, NBC Universal and others claiming they told her Brüno was a celeb and would appear and call numbers at the charity bingo game she ran for the elderly in Palmdale, CA. Olson was none too happy when she saw Brüno, whom she describes as an “extreme, outrageous, offensive caricature of a gay man dressed in sexually revealing clothing with an Austrian accent…”

Olson alleges Bruno used “vulgar and offensive language” and when she tried taking the mic from him, a “physical struggle ensued” and Cohen “offensively touched, pushed and battered” her, causing her to fall to the ground.

She then claims three cameramen and others rushed the stage … “where defendants attacked [her] for a period of one to five minutes to intentionally create a dramatic emotional response … while [they] recorded her humiliation and embarrassment.”

Aaaaand here’s where I call B.S.  The cameramen filmed themselves attacking a downed old lady?  Doubtful.

After the alleged assault was over, the suit says Olson went into another room where she was “sobbing uncontrollably” … then was rendered unconscious … “falling forward onto the thinly covered concrete slab, passing out and causing her to hit her head.”

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