Watchmen (most recent trailer here), which opens March 6th, recently released this fake news report with fake reporter Jim Sizemore on “10 years of Dr. Manhattan” (Billy Crudup).  It’s great if you like stuff that wasn’t important enough to put in the movie.  I like how they can mention two ex-presidents and call them by their real names, but have to make up a fake TV station.  What, are the real ones going to sue?  “NBC is outraged at this vicious slander.  We resent the implication that we would be involved in superhero stories, even if we did exist in a fictional faux reality where superheroes did exist.”

[Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip]

Public Enemies is director Michael Mann’s latest project, and it marks the eagerly anticipated return of Stephen Dorff, whose performance in Feardotcom inspired a generation. Johnny Depp and Christian Bale are in it too. Empire has the first official stills.

Described as a sort of Heat II, the film tells the story of charismatic criminal gang leader John Dillinger (Depp) and determined lawman Melvin Purvis (Bale), the FBI agent tracking him down. Also in the cast is Marion Cotillard as Dillinger’s girlfriend, Channing Tatum, Giovanni Ribisi, David Wenham, Leelee Sobieski and Emilie de Ravin, with Billy Crudup as the legendary J. Edgar Hoover.

I think I speak for all the heterosexual males readers when I say, this won’t be the first time I’ve pictured Billy Crudup in lipstick and a dress.  I mean… because I wanted to seem him demonstrate his range as an actor.  What?  Hey, so how ’bout that one football game the other day.

Ahh, poor J. Edgar Hoover.  Practically founded the FBI, and the first thing people still think when they hear his name is “that dude who wears women’s panties.”

I didn’t notice this when I watched it, but apparently in the new Watchmen trailer that premiered at the Scream Awards, you can see Dr. Manhattan’s ween.  Played by Billy Crudup, he’s been wearing some sort of fruity Euro man panties in all the other stuff, but as WorstPreviews points out… this time he wasn’t.  Get excited.  It’s like all those fantasies I had about my Smurf dolls having washboard abs and being anatomically correct are finally coming true.

Four new Watchmen magazine covers have hit the web, including Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian, Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre, Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan, and some creepy ginger as Rorschach. 

A film adaptation of the graphic novel has been in development hell since the mid-80s, but the Zack Snyder version is finally hitting the big screen March 6th.  Provided they get that lawsuit out of the way, that is.  Nerd boners crossed.

Why do they call the guy with the cigar The Comedian, anyway?  Does he tap the ash and say "Ha ch-cha cha cha"?  And what the hell’s holding that mask on?  Maybe one side is sticky.

[Picture source: ComingSoon] 

The latest Empire magazine features two covers from Zack Snyder’s Watchmen adaptation, one of which presumably required Billy Crudup to get a bikini wax. His character was created using motion capture CG though, so how much of that is his actual crotch is debatable.  I’m not sure what’s hotter, the thought that I’m seeing Billy Crudup’s actual crotch bulge, or a sweaty basement full of Korean teenagers lovingly animating Billy Crudup’s dick bulge.  Oh boy, daddy needs a cold shower.Scintillating bonus footage from Comic-Con