I wanted to like this movie, I really did. Seemed like a good hook - solid ensemble cast and veteran director do a movie about 30s bank robbers ostensibly aimed at adults. No toy commercials? You promise? Okay, sailor, buy me a drink and let’s see where this leads.
Johnny Depp plays John Dillinger, the prototypical cocky outlaw. “I like baseball, movies, good clothes, fast cars, whiskey…and you. What else ya need to know?”
Snappy line there, handsome. And it sounds good at first. Only after a while, you feel like there is more you need to know. Namely, what the hell is this movie about? Is it about Dillinger and the brash young FBI director, J. Edgar Hoover (awesomely played by Billy Crudup - coulda used more of him), manipulating the press and going head to head in the court of public opinion? Is it about old-school outlaws like Dillinger becoming obsolete in favor of mobsters, who do their stealing behind closed doors? Is it about Melvin Purvis (Christian Bale) learning that “modern” crimefighting still requires old fashioned toughness? Is it a love story? (I hope not, because most of Dillinger’s interactions with Billie Frechette (Marion Cotillard) involve him telling her what to say and then repeating his demand until she complies. How romantic. He must f*ck like a Jedi.)
The second trailer for Michael Mann’s Public Enemies went up today on MSN, which sadly doesn’t allow embeds, and everyone else’s rip is kinda weak. It’s similar to bong smoking in that regard. *pushes glasses back up nose*
Nonetheless, this movie still gives me a fairly turgid nerd boner - Depp plays John Dillinger, Christian Bale the FBI agent on his trail, etc., etc. My only real reservation is that Billy Crudup (as J. Edgar Hoover) seems to be the only one doing an awesome period Jimmy Cagney accent. You just know if this was a high school theater production, every kid in it would be walking around school flashing finger guns at each other and saying “Lookie heah, see?” for months. Man, those kids were f-ing annoying.
Watchmen opens on 1600 screens at midnight tonight (or midnight tomorrow, depending on how you want to look at it), moving to a full release in 3,611 locations tomorrow, the most ever for an R-rated film. In honor of it finally being here, after the jump I’ve got every Watchmen video released online so far, edited into one and put in their correct order. I haven’t watched it because I’m seeing the whole thing tonight and I don’t want to spoil my appetite for gratuitous slow motion. *peeking between fingers* Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissss iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit ooooooooooovvvvveeeeeeeeerrrrrrr yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet?????
One of the movies I’m most looking forward to this year is Michael Mann’s 30s gangster flick Public Enemies, starring Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Billy Crudup and pretty much every hot dude ever. I mean, I didn’t mean to imply that I was looking forward to it because of the hot dudes… I just meant I’m looking forward to it, and it also happens to have hot dudes. I don’t even know why I said that. I think maybe there’s some subliminal shit going on with the poster. You tricked me into staring at Johnny Depp’s crotch again, Satan! Crap, I think I need to go re-watch Fireproof a few more times.
With Watchmen (FINALLY) opening this Friday, expect to suffer through the final crescendo of annoying marking bullshit. NBC, for instance, has a Dr. Manhattan character trailer that’s nice, because it actually tells you something about the character rather than incorporating him into a fake Ovaltine ad from fictional 1967 (you have to watch it here).
“In the late 1950s, ordinary man Jon Osterman was ripped into particles in a science experiment gone horribly wrong. But his consciousness lived on, and he managed to reassemble himself as a true superhuman, a glowing blue model of physical perfection, able to see the future and alter matter all the way down to the subatomic level. His presence profoundly affects not just his fellow heroes, but also global scientific and geopolitical affairs. However, his growing detachment from humanity has frequently left him indifferent to the world and the people around him.”
Wow, he sounds a lot like me. Hey, did you guys know you’re all just figments of my imagination? It’s true. So next time something bad happens, don’t fret, it probably just taught me an important lesson. (There are two more clips from the movie after the jump which I’m not watching)
Read the rest of this entry »
