Today’s Forgotten Classic is 1983′s DC Cab, a film starring a murderer’s row of randomness that included Gary Busey, Mr. T., and Bill Maher.  It was a little before my time, but while I was writing, this, I noticed Drew had mentioned it in his latest Balls Deep column for Deadspin, so perhaps it’s not as forgotten as the title of this feature might indicate.  In any case, it’s about a team of wacky cabbies who have to rescue one of their colleagues who’s been kidnapped.  It’s basically the 1983 equivalent of Soul Plane, in both tacky badness and casual racism.  Here’s the rundown of highlights from reader Matthew, who sent this in.  Oh, also, he titled the banner image “Gary Busey Attempting to Faith Heal a Headache So He Can Copulate with the Afflicted,” so there’s that.

• Gary Busey saying “You know the only thing wrong with oral sex?  The view!”
• Gary Busey saying “Did you know that DC is 75% nig?”
• Gary Busey saying “Nobody ever goes in the army anymore except blacks. Someday one n*gger’s going to wake up and say ‘we got the guns and the mustard gas and the tanks – we runnin’ the army!’ And they’re going to take over the whole country.”
• Gary Busey running into a gentleman’s club and stealing money from a stripper’s panties.
• Mr. T working his cab shifts wearing a weightlifting belt.
• Gary Busey saying “You know I can suck the white right off your teeth.”
• Bill Maher playing synthesizer while waxing philosophic.
• Gary Busey saying “If I’d wanted responsibility I’d have been a damn sex surrogate.”
• Mr. T pimping out his cab with various gold accoutrements.
• Mr. T making an impassioned speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in yellow sweatpants.
• Gary Busey saying “Why are women so uptight?  They’ve got half the money and all the pussy.”

As you may have noticed, casual racism in 1983 was pretty intense by modern standards.  I’m assuming this film was written and directed by a black man, or else they’d never have gotten away with being so free with the N-Bomb– (*checks IMDB*) JOEL SCHUMACHER!? That’s right, this film was co-written and directed by the man who would later go on to put nipples on the Batman suit. In retrospect, perhaps we should’ve seen it coming.

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Oliver Stone was on Bill Maher’s HBO show over the weekend, and between discussing his experiences in Vietnam and as a Yale classmate of both George W. Bush and John Kerry, he of course discussed his new movie W.  He does a great job of explaining that his film will be more than the same stupid chain emails and Bushism of the day calendars we’ve been passing around for the last 8 years.

“You don’t have to go out of your way… You can make fun of Bush and he’s a parody, but look at the guy, you don’t have to make it up.  The guy speaks for himself.  People think they know George Bush but they don’t.  The guy’s a bit like the Wizard of Oz.”

Great speech right?  But then right afterwards I jumped on the internet to look at amputee porn what did I see? A brand new banner ad for W:

Way to go, Ollie.  “We don’t need to make fun of Bush, we’ll just take a picture of him on the shitter!”  Thank God I have people like Ollie to properly articulate my nuanced point of view.  Oh, and by the way, any native English speaker who goes out of his way to pronounce “déjà vu” with properly accented French hasn’t gotten has ass kicked nearly enough. (3:15 mark of the video – does anyone know how to make a loop of that?)

[Picture source = JoBlo, Video source = RopeofSilicon]

In some political circles (read: douchey law school parties in D.C.), it’s big news that Bill Maher’s Religulous tripled the per-screen average of David Zucker’s “patriotic” spoof An American Carol this weekend.  Especially after people handed out tickets to a free Carol screening at the GOP convention. Of course, the Zucker people have a theory:

[From a page of An American Carol's website that has since been taken down] We have had heard from numerous people across the country that there has been some ticket fraud when buying a ticket for An American Carol this past weekend.
Please check your ticket. If you were in fact one of those people that were “mistakenly” sold a ticket for another movie please fill out the form below. Hold on to your ticket so we can have proof.
If you have noticed other irregularities with the theatres in your area please let us know in the comment section below. For instance, Rated R film rating (when in fact we are rated PG-13), posters not being up, not being listed on the marquee, image or focus problems, sound issues, etc.
Please email us a picture of your ticket stub to fraud@americancarol.com
We are investigating. [American Carol via wonkette]

Clearly there’s a vast conspiracy of guys like this who will stop at nothing to keep Chris Farley’s brother down.  You seriously believe that Chihuahua movie took number one? Mexicans did it.  Eagle Eye number 2?  The gays.  Nick and Norah?  Jew bankers. I refuse to believe a movie AICN said was good is anything but a hit.

Last night someone sent me this brilliant breakdown of Bill Maher’s Religulous (another video after the jump), made by a couple of goth Christians calling themselves The Rapture Right. The video is long, but definitely worth a watch if you’ve got the time. The first thing I noticed was that actual hardcore Christians are never this funny, unless they’re speaking in tongues. Not to mention that the guy who directed Religulous also directed Borat.

I did a little digging and found their MySpace page, which features their song “Heaven”, and the lyrics “They’ve got X-Ray glasses and hoverboards in heaven.” I too have always associated heaven with Back to the Future. And then there’s a little jam called “Jesus Touched Me” (Je-sus/touched more than my heart…). They also have a website with some pretty sweet flash graphics, and cartoons like the one I’ve included at right.

I talked to some people at Lionsgate who swore that as far as they knew, these guys aren’t affiliated with the movie, and that the studio already has a separate viral site and campaign of their own. It’s possible the Lionsgate people didn’t know, but there’s no way these guys are for real. They are pretty funny though. Read the rest of this entry »