Steven Spielberg to ruin Stanley Kubrick’s Napoleon movie

Written by Vince Mancini / 03.04.13

It’s all but gospel now that Stanley Kubrick once conceived a perfect movie called AI, but died before he could make it, at which point Steven Spielberg took over and added an ending that was just him raining a warm piss stream on Kubrick’s dead face. Hey, that’s what people say. Well now, Spielberg tells French TV that he’s taken over another Kubrick project, working with Kubrick’s family on Kubrick’s famously ambitious but never executed screenplay about Napoleon, of which Kubrick once said “I expect to make the best movie ever made.” Interestingly, Spielberg plans to do it as a miniseries. Say what you will about AI, if this is half as good as Band of Brothers, I will watch until my eyes bleed.

Kubrick wrote the script in 1961 but ultimately abandoned the Napoleon biopic in the ’70s because of budget and production challenges. The late filmmaker is famed for his obsessive perfectionism, so his estate should find comfort working in the able hands of Spielberg. [THR]

Kubrick’s Napoleon project was so well-known that it even inspired an 1100-page coffee table book called “The Greatest Movie Never Made.” Impressive, considering a script is only about a hundred pages. ThePlaylist offers their cliff’s notes:

Originally proposed as his next project after “2001: A Space Odyssey,” Kubrick pitched the movie as a $5 million production (roughly $100 million in today’s dollars) with extraordinarily ambitious plans that included upwards of 30,000 men as extras for the battle scenes (remember, this was before CGI) as well as utilizing front projection techniques that he had recently used on ‘2001.’

The research was extensive and meticulous, with Kubrick using Felix Markham’s 1966 biography as a launching pad for his in-depth study that eventually grew to include extensive index cards kept on everyone in Napoleon’s life, and cross referenced to an exacting degree.

MGM had initially greenlit the movie, and United Artists were offered the project, but both grew wary after similar epics like “War & Peace” and “Waterloo” struggled financially.

Kubrick once contracted Anthony Burgess, who wrote A Clockwork Orange (the novel) to write a novel which would become the basis for his Napoleon movie. Kubrick rejected Burgess’s work, sayingDespite its considerable accomplishments, it does not, in my view, help solve either of the two major problems: that of considerably editing the events (and possibly restructuring the time sequence) so as to make a good story, without trivializing history or character, nor does it provide much realistic dialogue, unburdened with easily noticeable exposition or historical fact.” Burgess published the book anyway, Napoleon’s Symphony.

Meanwhile, I’m told, Spielberg has found a novel way to approach the material, in that he plans to tell the entire story from the perspective of Napoleon’s horse. I’d actually be most interested in the period of Napoleon’s life when he was exiled on Saint Helena way the hell out in the middle of the South Atlantic. But as long as they cover the day he spent at Raging Waters I’ll be happy.

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Bill & Ted 3 finds a director, Keanu still attached

Written by Vince Mancini / 08.10.12

Don’t look so shocked, dudes – A sequel to Bill and Ted 3 is something we’ve been hearing about since at least

Vulture hears exclusively that a long-thought-impossible third Bill & Ted film is coalescing — and yes, both Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter are attached to star.

Original Bill & Ted creators Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson have also attached Dean Parisot (Galaxy Quest) to direct their script. Unlike so many recent studio remakes, which have simply recycled old material for a new generation, Solomon and Matheson took the unusual step of writing their third Bill & Ted script on spec in an attempt to ensure a take that would address where Mssrs. Ted Theodore Logan and Bill S. Preston, Esq. are in their lives today as opposed to being a reboot or remake. Insiders tell Vulture the hope is to make a mid-priced studio comedy like Hot Tub Time-Machine.

So, like… Phone Booth Time Machine?

Where the third film might land is still not clear: MGM Pictures still owns the rights to Bill & Ted, but we hear that this new package is currently being shopped to other studios to co-finance it. But even if Bill & Ted 3 does get set up at a studio, it would need to wait until Parisot finishes directing the sequel to Lionsgate’s 2010 film RED, which starts shooting this spring. [Vulture]

If studios are making Alf and $250 million board game movies, I can’t imagine they’d pass up an opportunity to make a sequel where the name recognition actually does mean something. Matthew Broderick made a Ferris Bueller Super Bowl commercial and everyone crapped their pants. There was so stupidly happy to remember something from childhood that it didn’t even matter that it was a goddamn minivan commercial. Anyway, here’s what Keanu told MTV last year about the possible plot:

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The best yearbook quote & morning links

Written by Vince Mancini / 06.07.11

This is my new favorite yearbook quote. I salute you, James Conway. |via EgoTVOnline|

MORNING LINKS

This Is Why You Should Set Your Facebook Party Invitiations To Private [Uproxx]

Danger Guerrero’s Terrible But Realistic TV Pitches, Vol. III [WarmingGlow]

Scene Breakdown: First Trailer for Twilight: Breaking Dawn [Filmdrunk]

Warming Glow Interview: Rob Riggle [WarmingGlow]

The best pictures from the Coronado Dog Surfing competition. |WithLeather|

Six panels of Penny Arcade getting movie deal. |GammaSquad|

Zachary Briggs is available for your porn movie. |Videogum|

Man with no arms trashes hotel lobby. This man is an inspiration. Background guy: “Yeah, kick all ‘at sh-t down, man.” |TheDailyWhat|

This slut probably sucks at tennis. |GorillaMask|

Grading the latest teacher sex scandal. |BostonStool|

Leaked scripts for remakes of 80s movies. |Nerve|

Ice T and Coco renew their vows. I saw a clip from their show the other day where they were talking about meeting, and Ice T asked, “Have you ever dated a gangster before?”  And I thought, uhhh, have you see that chick? Who else is she going to date? |TheSuperficial|

18 suggestions for NY Post Anthony Weiner headlines. |HolyTaco|

10 photos of cats in tiny cat furniture. |Buzzfeed|

X-Men FIRST First Class: A Look Back At Mutants On TV [UGO]

Holy @#$%ing Mother of @#$%, It’s the Blade Anime [ToplessRobot]

Comments of the Week | THE FROTCAST (OUR PODCAST) ON iTUNES | FILMDRUNK ON FACEBOOK | FILMDRUNK ON TWITTER.

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Bill & Ted sequel is definitely happening probably.

Written by Vince Mancini / 04.05.11

(this story was a great excuse to re-post our idea for Bill & Ted’s Excellent Inception)

So Keanu Reeves is back talking Bill & Ted’s sequels again.  We first heard about it (again, from Keanu) in Keanu-MTVNEws

“I believe the writers are six weeks away from a draft,” Reeves told MTV News during an interview today to promote “Henry’s Crime,” his upcoming movie co-starring Vera Farmiga.

He speaks of course of original writers Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon, who, after Bill & Ted, would go on to pen such classics as Imagine That, and Mr. Wrong, starring Bill Pullman and Ellen Degeneres. By the way, if history is any guide, we’re always six weeks or less from a finished script from them.

Then Reeves opened up considerably, revealing that the plot ties directly into the ending of “Bogus Journey,” when Bill and Ted’s Wyld Stallyns became the best band in the universe.
“When we last got together, part of it was that Bill and Ted were supposed to have written the song that saved the world, and it hasn’t happened,” he said. “So they’ve now become kind of possessed by trying to do that. Then there’s an element of time and they have to go back.” [via MTV News]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, the plot involves time travel?  How about a “SPOILER ALERT?”  Anyway, it doesn’t sound like there’s a studio involved yet, and I wouldn’t get your hopes up (hopes, expectations, whatever) until that happens. Either way, the important thing is that Alex Winter already has a real job and isn’t dead from drugs like Corey Haim or out killing joggers for their meat like DJ Jazzy Jeff, or Lights Camera Jackson.
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Bill & Ted’s Excellent Inception

Written by Vince Mancini / 07.27.10

On last week’s Frotcast, we were kicking around ideas, and one thing that came up was “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Inception.”  I don’t think we ever made it past the title stage, and frankly, I liked my idea for a Food Network show called “Cakes on a Plane” better (We gotta serve these motherf*cking cakes to the people on this motherf*ckin’ plane!).  Nonetheless, FilmDrunkard ColbyCornish took “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Inception” and ran with it, and it turned out better than I ever could’ve imagined.  It’s incredibly well done. Watching this, I actually think Inception could’ve been improved if Keanu Reeves had been there to say “WHOA,” as each new plot point was laid out.

I also would’ve enjoyed if it had ended on the shot of Cobb’s spinning totem, with Keanu saying, “All we are is dust in the wind, dude.” (*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAHM*)

KeanuReeves-BillandTEd

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