ALI LARTER HAS A PLAN

01.23.09 Written by Vince Mancini

In this new poster for Obsessed (boring trailer after the jump), Ali Larter shows that when you’re a white girl, the best way to steal a black girl’s man is to arch your back as much as possible in a desperate attempt to make your ass look bigger.  Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I used that one.

In related news, I’d like to marry a girl named Beyoncé. That way I could go to fancy dinner parties and say to people, “Hi, nice to meet you. And have you met my fiancée, Beyoncé?”

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ADRIEN BRODY LOVES MAKING OUT WITH BLACK CHICKS

12.03.08 Written by Vince Mancini

Adrien Brody, who won a special place in my heart for dipping Halle Berry and making out with her after winning his Oscar in 2002 (which clearly should’ve gone to Daniel Day-Lewis as Bill the Butcher), is back to his old ways.  And by his old ways, I mean seizing every opportunity to make out with black chicks.  This time, Beyoncé.

Adrien Brody (Leonard Chess in the movie) admitted during the premiere of Cadillac Records on Monday that making out and rolling around on the ground with Beyoncé, Etta James in the movie, wasn’t part of the script, nor was it historically accurate, but no one complained.

“Let’s just say it wasn’t a deal breaker,” Brody said.  “When I met Etta [the real one], she told me, ‘Leonard and I did not do those things!’  So, yes, it was somewhat embellished.  But what’s wonderful is the truth Beyoncé brings to that moment.  That justified it.” [NYDailyNews]

Brody continued heaping praise upon his co-star, saying, “What can I say, man, those titties don’t lie!  How you gon’ hate a nigga for tryin ta get a piece? A-Brode love him some dark meat.”  Okay, not really.  You’ll never believe this, but I actually just made that last part up.  Still, you have to respect a gawky ass dude like Adrien Brody taking his fame as an opportunity to strong arm every chick that comes near him.  That’s what I’d do.  I’d also probably make fog horn sounds when I grabbed her boobs.  Because I’m all man, ladies.

[more pictures @ TheBlemish]

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BEYONCE STILL NOT AN ACTRESS

11.05.08 Written by Vince Mancini

Uh, I’m here for the gangbang?

Cadillac Records just released a trailer.  The story of Chess Records, it features Beyoncé as Etta James, Adrien Brody as Leonard Chess, Jeffrey Wright as Muddy Waters, and Mos Def as Chuck Berry.  Beyoncé still can’t really act, but she does do that black girl neck thing a lot.  I wish I could do that.

(trailer after the jump) Read the rest of this entry »

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CADILLAC RECORDS POSTER IS BRODY-LICIOUS

11.03.08 Written by Vince Mancini

Cadillac Records opens December 5th, and now it has a poster (click the thumbnail below for full size).  Apparently there aren’t any black actresses in Hollywood so they keep having to use singers.  Doot, da-doot da-doot da-doot, doot da-doot doot, da-doot da-doot…

UPDATE: You can thank Michelle for directing us to this truly disturbing Tori Amos video starring Adrian Brody, or at least Adrian Brody’s face and arm.

[ComingSoon]

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