I don’t break news myself that often, so when I do, I feel like I should make a big deal out of it.  So hey, remember when I said Sean Penn might play Larry in the Farrelly Bros Three Stooges remake?  Well… I was right!!!!  I was right I was right I was right– Ow, son of a bitch, I stubbed my toe on my Todja So trophy.

Anyway, Variety confirms that Penn will play Larry, Benicio del Toro is in talks to play Moe, and Jim Carrey planning to gain 40 pounds for Curly in the modern “update” of the classic comedy troupe from the directors whose next project is literally called Walter the Farting Dog and stars the Jonas Bros.  And now this cast. Here’s how I envision a Stooges movie starring these three going down:

PENN: (voice cracking) I dunno, man, I just… (unintelligible) …I just think, maybe I shouldn’ta killed her.  …God forgive me for da things I done.

DEL TORO: (long, thoughtful drag on cigarette) Listen, my frien’.  (points with cigarette) You.  You did whatchahadda do.  That’s it.  (flicks cigarette away, blows out smoke)

CARREY: (talking out of his ass) But gee, Larry!  Maybe you shouldn’t have tortured her so much first!  Maybe you could have just… ASSed her what the problem was. (does backflip)

*Moe shoots Curly in the face*

This is the English-language version of the trailer for Che, Steven Soderbergh’s four-hour epic about Che Guevara.  The film has two parts, The Guerilla and The Argentine, and will be released first in its entirety in New York and LA next week in order to qualify for the Oscars, and then in January it will be released separately as The Argentine and The Guerilla.  I know Benicio Del Toro seems like the perfect casting, but ask yourself this: Wouldn’t Danny Trejo have been better?  Although I guess Che would’ve had to win in the end, just to make it believable.  That would’ve been a way better movie.

28 new pictures from Steven Soderbergh’s Che that I didn’t feel like saving and resizing.  As you can see, not only can Benicio Del Toro squint and smoke cigarettes, he can also squint and smoke pipes (sort of).  So versatile! [RopeofSilicon]

11 Nude Scenes We Didn’t Need to See.  Why do I feel like this entire list could’ve been Harvey Keitel? [ScreenJunkies]

America Ferrara to star and exec produce American Tragic. I’ve liked America Ferrara ever since she shot dagger eyes at Blake Lively, but is it so much to ask for her to change her middle name to “F-ck Yeah!”? [Variety]

40 Awesome Versions of Jesus. The Easter Bunny one is just wrong.  [HolyTaco]

The 14 animated films that have been submitted for Oscar consideration in the Best Animated Film category.  Ha, that’s cute, other movies besides Wall E think they have a chance. Fly Me to the Moon, are you f-ing kidding me?  [ComingSoon]

Star Trek trailer coming Monday. Yup, it’s come to this, a countdown to the trailer. Oh boy, I can’t wait to wait for this some more! [Official Site]

New Terminator Salvation concept art.  Ooh, a “hydrobot“.  Watch out, Ripley! The Sentinels are after you!  Oh crap, I’m mixing movies again.  Silly me, I don’t know how I ever could’ve made that mistake. [Filmonic / Io9]

The gun barrel sequence from Quantum of Solace.  I know, I know, it’s a poor substitute for the naked lady silhouette scene. [after the jump]

Those movies you keep ignoring on Netflix fight back. [College Humor]

Barack Obama ends racism forever, so Klan takes up birdwatching. Cute video, but I’m pretty they’re actually producers on Maury now. [Atom]
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IFC Films bought the rights to Che, the combined version of Steven Soderbergh’s two films about Che Guevara, The Guerilla and The Argentine.  They’ll be releasing the four-hour flick for one week in New York and Los Angeles starting December 12th in order to qualify for 2008 awards.  Said a spokesperson, “The rest of the country can go F themselves.”

After that, The Argentine will be released in January.  I haven’t seen either film, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say a lot of it involves Benicio Del Toro squinting and smoking cigarettes.

[via RoS - Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip]

Steven Soderbergh made two movies about Che Guevara, The Guerillia and The Argentine.   They both star Benicio Del Toro and they’re both in Spanish.  They both screened together at Cannes under the title Che.  Today we have a brand new trailer for The Argentine, still without subtitles. I’m not sure what the strategy here is.  If you want people to care about something that’s in a different language, you need a presenter with huge cans or someone in a gorilla suit.  It’s just science.