The newest trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness hit the web today, and unlike previous trailers, where all I could remember was Alice Eve in her bra and that Nordic ice queen bob (*bites knuckle until it bleeds*), this one seems to cover just a few main points:
Explosions
Lights shining into the camera
Benedict Cumberbatch’s bangs (you wouldn’t like him when his bangs are messy)
Listen to your friend, Bruce Greenwood, Kirk. He’s Canadian.
Yes, it’s probably a lot more explosiony and less about logic and human nature and clashes of culture than you remember from Star Trek, and pretty sure William Shatner never flew around space in a jetpack. But what this movie presupposes is… maybe he should have? I’ll allow it.
Hi, I’m the ship’s doctor, this is how we look and dress in the future
The second trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness just hit the web, and as I’ve said all along, letting JJ Abrams direct both Star Trek and Star Wars was a weird idea, like the same guy running both Coke and Pepsi, or having Mick Jagger sing for the Beatles. In this new trailer, it looks like Abrams just gets confused as to which one he’s making and films an homage to that Star Wars scene where the Millennium Falcon has to turn sideways to fit between the asteroids:
The new trailer for the JJ Abrams-directed, Kurtzman/Orci/Lindelof-scripted Star Trek Into Darkness just hit the web this morning (not to be confused with the shorter teaser from last week or the teaser teaser before that). Like the trailer for the first one, the whole first half is voice over from Bruce Greenwood, who tells Kirk that even though he might be King Sh*t of Huge Balls Mountain right now, there’s going to come a day when his manly hubris and scrotum-based chutzpah are going to get people killed. Or as Val Kilmer would say, “I don’t like you, ’cause your dangerous.” (*air bite*) Greenwood plays Christopher Pike in the movie, but I prefer to think of this advice as coming straight from Greenwood himself. Did you know he lost a front tooth in a bar fight? He also does a mean trumpeting elephant impression. And you know you can trust him because he’s Canadian.
Paramount has been promising us a Star Trek teaser all week, and now they’ve delivered. Star Trek Into Darkness, which unfortunately doesn’t seem to involve Charlie Murphy despite the title, has a teaser that looks more or less like every JJ Abrams movie teaser – SOMETHING F*CKING HUGE IS HAPPENING WE CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT IT IS BUT IT’S THE BIGGEST EVER AND EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT IT YOU DON’T WANT TO BE THE ONE TO MISS IT DO YOU?!?
Luckily Star Trek was the JJ Abrams project I actually liked, so I’m actually interested in this one. STID returns Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, and Zoe Saldana, and adds Alice Eve for eye candy and Benedict Cumberbatch for Brit candy. Cumberbatch reportedly plays some version of the villain Khan, and the teaser (at least, the Japanese version of the teaser, which I’ve embedded) apparently includes a Khan reference that I wasn’t familiar enough with the source to get. Nonetheless, I pantsed this nerd from MTV Movies Blog and the following explanation fell out:
While it’s not Benedict Cumberbatch saying, “Alas, my true identity is Khan,” but there is a visual callback to the sequel’s second most iconic scene (behind “Khaaaannnnnn” of course). The scene of course comes right before Spock’s death from radiation poisoning. Having just saved the entire crew, Spock says he’s good-bye to Kirk with a line that will choke up any good nerd worth his or her salt. “You are my superior officer. You are also my friend. I have been and always shall be yours.” It’s a clear reference, which seems like a curious choice for the first teaser, since everyone and their mother is assuming that Cumberbatch is playing some alternate universe version of Khan.
In a movie that might as well be called Ladies and A Lot of Gentlemen, Get Ready to Feel Weird When You Think a Slave Owner Is Sexy (working title), Benedict Cumberbatch will star in Steve McQueen’s 12 Years a Slave, joining previously cast actors Brad Pitt, Michael F. Assbender, Taran Killam, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and something named Scoot McNairy. According to Variety:
Based on Solomon Northrup’s 1853 nonfiction tome, New Regency pic stars Ejiofor as the author, a free man kidnapped and sold into slavery. Cumberbatch will play a plantation owner who buys Ejiofor’s character and is won over by his engineering skills. (Via)
You know something’s good (and this does sound good) when it’s described as a “tome.” For those not in the know, that’s the term people used to say instead of “slideshow blog posts.” Anyway, the screenplay for 12 Years was written by McQueen (Shame) and John Ridley, who once penned an episode of “Team Knight Rider,” which was really a modern-day allegory about slavery when you think about it. Note: don’t think about it.
Vince’s Note: How dare you not use my Benedict Cumberbatch Photoshop:
