After the jump, you’ll find the brand new trailer for Little Fockers. The third trailer, to be exact. If you’ll remember, everything about this movie was looking like a work thermos full of chunky stool, so Universal tried to fix it by bringing back Dustin Hoffman.  It totally worked, because now it’s hilarious!

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“Thinking of seeing Little Fockers?  Poke yourself in the eyes like Three Stooges,” he seems to be saying.  Sage advice, Robert DeNiro, sage advice indeed.

[New posters via Yahoo]

I feel like I’m sweating red bulls and fondling my crotch to the beat of house music today, because Brett Ratner’s hot new project just got more hotter.  Ya boy Alfred Itchcock’s Tower Heist just added Eddie Murphy to the cast.  The Rat Man production will hopefully continue Murphy’s string of hits that now includes, Norbit, Imagine That, and the incomparable Meet Dave, and will give him someone with whom to swap tranny stories on set.

Eddie Murphy is set to join Ben Stiller and Alan Alda in Tower Heist, the Brett Ratner-directed caper film for Universal Pictures. Murphy has been mentioned as a possible participant going back to the film’s original configuration as an African American version of Ocean’s Eleven, when it was called Trump Heist. Trump was dropped as was that casting equation, and now, the storyline deals with operations and maintenance workers in a luxury Manhattan high-rise whose pension funds were looted by a Bernie Madoff-like  Wall Street crook, who is living high style in a penthouse apartment, under house arrest. Led by an overworked building manager (Stiller), the workers use their knowledge of the inner workings of the building to rip him off. [Deadline]

It’s strange to say it, but it’s looking like a Brett Ratner project might actually get made. After years of lazily smoking pot and eating nachos and playing XBox, it’s nice to see Brett Ratner finally digging right in there and grabbing a project by the short and curlies.  When you get that creative itch, you’ve just gotta scratch it.

Forbes just released their list of Hollywood’s top 10 money-earning actors from June 2009 through June 2010, and while I don’t find these stats particularly interesting, I know our monkey brains leave us incapable of not clicking on top 10 lists and I ain’t allergic to cash money so here we are.  The figures reportedly include front-end paychecks, back-end deals (the kind your mom likes), and endorsements, such as Al Pacino’s gravitastic coffee ad, or Channing Tatum’s signature line of imitation-gold wigger chains (“Holla back, cousin, ya boy C-Tates’ chizzies look money, belee dat.”). Probably the biggest disappointment is not seeing John C. Reilly’s name on the list.  I’d let that man perform my open-heart surgery.

Johnny Depp, $75 million

Ben Stiller, $53 million

Tom Hanks, $45 million

Adam Sandler, $40 million

Leonardo DiCaprio, $28 million

Daniel Radcliffe, $25 million

Robert Downey Jr., $22 million

Tom Cruise, $22 million

Brad Pitt, $20 million

George Clooney, $19 million

Adam Sandler farts thousand-dollar bills (“Literally!” -Pete Hammond) so it’s a little surprising to see him below Ben Stiller on the list.  Forbes reports that Stiller’s figure includes a producer credit on Dreamworks’ Megamind as well as a hefty up-front fee for Little Fockers. And he deserves every penny of that. That thing looks Brian-Pumper-putting-farts-in-your-monkey-fufu level embarrassing.  But all in all, save for maybe Daniel “The Awkwardest Wizard” Radcliffe, it seems like a pretty meritorious list, as far as people earning more than small countries for standing around looking pretty goes.  At least there aren’t any Twilight people on it. Meanwhile, upon hearing the news that the highest-paid actor earned a paltry $75 million, James Cameron bought a solid gold helmet for his Komodo dragon and made his midget jesters trade pants.

Seeing Ben Stiller get puked on and rehash decade-old jokes in the Little Fockers trailer was pretty sad.  Luckily, his career takes a giant leap forward today with the news that he’ll soon be doing a film called Tower Heist with our nation’s finest filmmaker.  I speak of course of Brett Ratner.  Or as I like to call him, Alfred Itchcock.

Ben Stiller stars as the overworked manager of a luxury building who, along with other staff, lost their pensions to a Bernie Madoff-like Wall Street crook. It so happens that the fraudster is being held under house arrest in the luxury penthouse apartment upstairs, and the manager and four cohorts figure a heist will make them whole.

The project originally got set up under the title Trump Heist, when the intention was for an African American ensemble to target The Donald. Trump got evicted, as did the African American cast idea.

“It has become the quintessential New York heist movie, where a bunch of blue collar employees in a tower building pull off the ultimate heist,” Ratner told me. [yes, who could forget all those blue collar working stiffs who lost their money to Bernie Madoff. -Ed] The move away from Trump really began with Ted Griffin, who, Ratner reminds, originally wrote Ocean’s Eleven for him to direct.  “I didn’t get to do that movie, I did Rush Hour instead, but I went back to Ted to do a rewrite, and he wanted to start over. His pitch was so good that I took it to Brian [Grazer], who said, ‘let’s get it right.’ I brought the script to Ben on the Little Fockers set, and said this is perfect for you. He was looking at other projects like Mr. Popper’s Penguins (which went to Jim Carrey), I asked Noah Baumbach  to do some specific character work for Ben. Then my Rush Hour guy Jeff Nathanson brought it home.” [Deadline]

Ratner continued, “Jeff Nathanson brought it home.  After that we played xBox for while, got hella stoned and just went to town on some Totino’s pizza rolls. Then I passed out for a while.  I’m not sure where the script went after that.  I think my bro Steve might have it.  Yeah, that’s it, you should probably ask Steve.”