Argo, opening October 12th, rated Arg for Argo, just released its first trailer. Ben Affleck stars in his third directawrial effit, telling the true story of a CIA plot to pose as Canadian movie producers scouting locations for a sci-fi movie to help rescue American diplomats stranded in Iran after the Iranian revolution. After Gone Baby Gone and The Town, I’m through being surprised when Ben Affleck makes a good movie, and between that and supporting roles from heavy hitters Bryan Cranston, John Goodman, and Alan Arkin, I’m already sold.

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Baby don't hurt us.

While I sit here waiting for someone to finally give me the ultimate mashup of movie characters making fart noises, I suppose I can settle for today’s best effort of some of Hollywood’s hunkiest A-list male actors saying, “I love you.” There are also some people in this that have no business having ever been cast as a romantic lead *pauses screen, gives middle finger to Josh Radnor* but this post is all about what you ladies want today (or until the next post).

So why don’t you draw yourself a nice, hot bubble bath, pop a bottle of bubbly, strap on a blindfold, lay back and pretend like Matt Damon, George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Colin Firth, Ben Affleck, Shia LeBeouf, Brad Pitt, Zac Efron, Leo DiCaprio, Robert Pattinson, that guy from Scrubs and Paul Rudd are saying those awesome three little words to you. Also, while you’re blondfolded, I’m going to steal your TV.

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I first told you about Ben Affleck’s Argo a few months ago, his third directawrial effit fawllowing the awbvious and totally wahrranted success of The Town, GO SAWX. It’s based on a 2007 Wired article, “How the CIA Used a Fake Sci-Fi Flick to Rescue Americans from Tehran,” about how a group of CIA operatives passed themselves off as the crew of a fake sci-fi film called Argo to rescue diplomats who’d gone into hiding after the Iranian revolution. Affleck will play CIA ‘exfiltration specialist’ Tony Mendez. Cast also includes Bryan Cranston, Alan Arkin, and John Goodman.

Empire just broke the first official image, and all I can think about is how much Affleck is a dead ringer for Harry Ellis in Die Hard (played by the incomparable Hart Bochner). Only he’s playing him very serious. That was always what I liked about Harry Ellis, he never took things too seriously. “See that watch? It’s a Rolex.”

“Babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Ayatollotrash. Hey! Sprecken sie talk*? Homeini! Bubbie! …I’m your white knight.”

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It’s hard to believe, but it’s been a whopping 14 years since Matt Damon and Ben Affleck became superstars with Good Will Hunting. And while they worked together again in Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (despite what some bloggers think) they’ve been neglecting us for far too long.

Well pine no longer, because they’re back together for a movie about Whitey Bulger. Hey, wasn’t The Departed already about Whitey Bulger?

“We’re doing a Whitey Bulger movie,” Damon says of the leader of South Boston’s Winter Hill Gang, who had been on the lam for 16 years and was wanted for 19 murders, among other things, when he was apprehended in Santa Monica in June. “Warner’s got it for us.”
Damon will star as Bulger, Affleck will direct, and Terence Winter, of The Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire fame, is writing the script. Last year, Damon and Affleck cemented a first-look deal with Warner Bros., where their production company is now based.(Via GQ)

Damon and Affleck had earlier been rumored to be reuniting for The Trade, the true story of two New York Yankees pitchers in the 1970s who swapped wives, but according to GQ, development has been hampered by legal challenges (not to mention the obvious hurdle of two Boston guys doing a movie about the Yankees). But of course, it wouldn’t be the Hollywood way to have only one Whitey Bulger project in development. Why, this is a story hot off the presses, that has only been tackled in a wildly successful and critically-acclaimed film once before!

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Last we heard, WB’s plan to adapt Stephen King’s The Stand was for multiple movies to be directed by Harry Potter‘s David Yates. Apparently that idea fell through (possibly because Yates and his writer Steve Kloves were too expensive), because now Deadline reports that Warner wants Ben Affleck for the project.  HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, BRETT RATNAH, YOU QUEAH.

Warner Bros has chosen Ben Affleck to adapt and direct The Stand, Stephen King’s apocalyptic mammoth book. Affleck has become a cornerstone director for the studio, but this would be his greatest challenge yet. Even King has been reticent about the idea of making a feature of his book, which previously was turned into a miniseries. With The Town and Gone Baby Gone, Affleck has shown the grit necessary to handle such an unforgettable tale. It’s early days, but the studio loves Affleck, who’s now directing Argo. [Deadline]

HE GAWT THE JAWB CAUSE HE’S GAWT GRIT! BEN AFFLECK IS THE GRITTIEST! HE JUST GOES IN THEYAH AN PUTS ON HIS FACKIN’ HAHD HAT AN PUNCHES THE TIME CLAWCK AND DOES HIS FACKIN’ JAWB! HE’S LIKE THE WES WELKAH OF HAWLLYWOOD DIRECTAHS! ME, SQUEEZEBAWX, CASPAH, AN’ WAWP JOHNNY AH GONNA READ THIS ‘THE STAND’ AND SEE WHAT AWLL THE FACKIN FUSS IS ABOUT– 823 FACKIN’ PAGES?! WHAT IS THIS, A HAHVAHD BOOK? (*throws book at Yankees fan*)

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