Below is the new trailer for Battle: Los Angeles, which seems to have the collective arm flab of the internet all a-quiver with pre-emptive applause.  Yes, the trailer looks pretty good, very explosion-y.  But I remember thinking the same thing about Independence Day.  And this is still a movie from the director of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake starring Michelle Rodriguez, right?   Just checking.   (You’ll never believe this, but MichelleRod plays a hardcore Latina Marine).  So will it be the next District 9 or the next Skyline?  Either way, I guess we’ll find out on 3-11-2011.

Well, you’ll find out anyway.  That’s the day *I* celebrate 311 day, by taking giant b-loads and bumping “Come Original.”   Whoa, dude, did he just say “amber is the color of my energy?”  That’s, like, (*bong load*) …deep, brah.  (*coughs)

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After the jump, I’ve got new trailers for Battle: Los Angeles, and Beastly, the “edgy teen drama” about learning not to judge a book by its cover.  Beastly stars Alex Pettyfer as Handsome McPopular, a rich high school kid who has it all — money, abs, flowing locks, inexplicable speech-giving opportunities — until one day he pisses off goth witch Mary-Kate Olsen, who turns his eyebrows into Arabic writing. WHO’S GONNA LOVE YOU NOW, FARSI FACE?  Hard to say what my favorite part was, because this trailer has everything:

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This is the new international trailer for Battle: Los Angeles, from Jonathan Liebsman, (acclaimed director of… uh… the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake), starring Aaron Eckhardt and Aaron Eckhardt’s chin dimple.   I hope you like alien-invasion movies, because there’s going to be a lot of them.  Besides this one, which makes Roland Emmerich all misty with nostalgia, there’s Skyline, Battleship (the ships fight aliens, if you’ll remember), JJ Abrams’ Super 8, and probably a couple more I’m forgetting.  So far I have to rank Battle: Los Angeles slightly above Skyline on account of the trailer not having awesome dialog like “NO!”, “LOOK OUT!”, and “THEY’RE COMING THIS WAY!” every three seconds.

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Oh GAWD, hide the good silverware and lock that deadbolt -it’s only been a day since we last mentioned Michelle Rodriguez and she’s already back to turn us all into her bitch. Yesterday, after wrapping up a panel discussion with some of the cast and crew from Battle: Los Angeles, handlers were able to corner Michelle and subdue her long enough to pick her brain on why practically every character she portrays always ends up getting the sh*t killed out of them. After much initial hissing and spitting, Rodriguez responded with:

Because I don’t take my clothes off, and I’m nobody’s girlfriend. The writers are new to the whole tough girl thing, and they don’t know what to do with [me]. We’ve got the dude who’s strong, so what do we do with the chick who’s strong? We kill her. Eventually they’ll get used to it, and maybe Salt will change a thing or two. [io9]

[click the link to watch a video of the interview. io9 isn't sharing their embedded code with anyone. -Ed.]

Yeah, whatever you say Michelle. I mean, I would have argued that your characters always die probably because they’re next to impossible for any actual human beings to relate to, not to mention that every time you…*Michelle Rodriguez slaps Chodin across the mouth* Okay, okay! Down girl! I get it, never mind. I love you…

First released Battle: Los Angeles stills after the jump:
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Amidst all the Hentei murals and Vince Mancini semen, a little something extra will be draped across the walls of Comic-Con this weekend: banners for Director Jonathan Liebesman’s (Darkness Falls, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) alien epic Battle: Los Angeles. Robopanda first reported on this movie last year, when the production had decided to cheat Louisiana for Los Angeles just to f**k with everyone. The film stars everyone’s favorite chin, Aaron Eckhart, along with the world’s most terrifying female, Michelle “I Can’t Tell If I’m Sexually Attracted To You Or Not” Rodriguez. The two play members of a group of Marines whom Eckhart must lead through the streets of a Lindsey Lohan extraterrestrial ridden Los Angeles.

The viral site went online yesterday, driving traffic to the web address scrawled across the film’s banner ads, ReportThreats.org. From the main page viewers then link directly to a web page named W.A.T.C.H. or Worldwide Assessment of Threats Concerning Humankind, offering mock-documentary footage, interviews and photographs. Hey, wake up, d**khead. I’ve got a block quote below.

The W.A.T.C.H. site, as well as the banners on display at Comic-Con, are all focused on a few actual real-life historical mysterious alien events, including the pinnacle Battle of Los Angeles event in LA in 1942 (you can read all about it at that link). The site contains a huge collection of “Expert Analysis” videos, links to a bunch of “Evidence” articles and “Eyewitness Testimonials.” Beyond all that we’re not sure if this will lead to any major viral events in San Diego or if it’s just the start of the viral for Battle: Los Angeles and only the first of many websites we’ll see related to these creepy historical extraterrestrial events. [Firstshowing.net]

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