"Have you seen this man? Son of a bitch conned me out of a litter of coyotes."

Gary Busey has been fired from an acting job on probable blockbuster Mansion of Blood, after complaints about his erratic behavior. Sources say the trouble started when producers realized they had hired Gary Busey.

The famously unpredictable actor was dumped from “Mansion of Blood” after a female employee allegedly complained that he made inappropriate comments on set, TMZ reported Wednesday.
Several members of the horror flick’s production team had already allegedly complained about Busey’s conduct, so production bosses decided it was time to terminate his employment, according to TMZ sources.
Busey, 66, had already finished shooting about half of his scenes — so the script was rewritten and another actor filled in to shoot the rest.
“The situation was plagued by contractual issues and misunderstandings from the outset,” Busey’s representative said. “Gary considers this episode concluded and has no further comment on the matter.” [FoxNews]

Busey went on to say that his compensation was misrepresented.  His trailer was far smaller than promised, with no air conditioning and belligerent weather stripping.  And the generator they provided was woefully underpowered to support a proper rendering operation.  “I don’t mean to seem like a prima donna,” he said, “but if producers can’t live up to the terms of a signed blood oath, you start to wonder why you even left the attic.”

"Great, Gary, you're doing perfect. Just keep pretending to be on the phone, and slowly, make your way towards the gate. No one suspects a thing."

"Hello? No, the bees couldn't get to me on account of I tucked my slacks into my socks. But tell me, is there a way to get coyote blood out of a suede vest?"

Just a day after it was announced that the Piranha 3D sequel would actually be called Piranha 3DD (three double d), we’ve gotten word that Gary Busey will be joining the cast.  Jesus, guys, are we just going to do anything the internet suggests now?  If so, I demand starring roles for Lobster Dog and the Llama Who Looks Like Taylor Lautner, and Vince Vaughn walking through the background of every scene eating an ice cream cone.

I guess the obvious question is, in a fight between Gary Busey and a school of piranha, whose teeth are more dangerous?  I say Busey, because he can smell fear.

Gary Busey once entered a cock fight and was disqualified for insider trading.

[via ComingSoon]

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Before Charlie Sheen showed up after a five-day crack binge spouting off about violent love and warlock assassins and soaked up the public’s appetite for public meltdowns, there was Randy Quaid.  After leading the media on a two-year trail of batsh*t nuttiness that included his wife sending nude photos of herself to a Seattle newspaper and showing up to a court date with “VALID CREDIT CARD” attached to her forehead, the Quaids sought asylum in Canada last October, claiming they were refugees from Hollywood “Star Whackers”, who killed, among others, Heath Ledger, David Carradine, Michael Jackson, Chris Penn, and Natasha Richardson.  Which is bullsh*t, because everyone knows the Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Ninjas did Carradine. 

Quaid has since surfaced in Vancouver, playing gigs with his backing band The Fugitives, and it sounds like he’s doing great:

The American actor performed two songs at the Commodore Ballroom on Friday night, telling the audience they were about “experiences that my wife and I have gone through for the last few months, and we hope you enjoy them.”

The first song had Quaid croon a romantic tune entitled “Will We Be Together Then?” Then came the much-heralded “Star Whackers” song, which referenced TMZ, murdering people and selling their organs on eBay. [THR]

My God, if it was legal to marry a paragraph, I’d be down on one knee right now.  “Wrote a song about my childhood.  It’s called ‘Dingo Baby Rainbow Pastry,’ here it go…”

The performance was Quaid’s first public gig since being granted permanent residency status in Canada by local authorities. He was allowed to stay in Canada because his wife, Evi Quaid, received her Canadian citizenship card in February because her father was born here.

Oh, Canadians. So polite. “Ninjas? Haha, cool story, eh.” Anyway, would you like to read the lyrics?  I’m sure you would.

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"Psst. You think they know the sh*tter's full?"

Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, are currently fugitives after missing a court date stemming from their burglary arrest last month for squatting in the guest house of a home they hadn’t owned since the 90s.  They were released on bond in Vancouver when their Canadian lawyer presented the media with a hand-written note that said, “Yes we are requesting asylum from Hollywood ‘STAR WHACKERS.’”

And that’s when things start to get weird.

Those Quaid counts among his “murdered” friends include actors Heath Ledger and David Carradine. [as well as Michael Jackson, Chris Penn, Natasha Richardson, and other actors who have appeared in movies with Randy.]
Quaid and his wife said they felt they had been unfairly treated by the U.S. justice system and promised to appear at future hearings, if released.

“I would not do anything to besmirch my reputation any further than it has been,” the actor said. “I’m trying to do damage control.”
Evi Quaid insisted they would not flee, if released, and even offered to wear an ankle bracelet.  She added: “I feel safe here.”

Vancouver police said they received a call for assistance Thursday in the city’s west side and while checking the identities of the pair — who turned out to be Quaid and his wife — authorities learned they were wanted on outstanding warrants.
The pair, who arrived in Canada on Oct. 17, said they crossed the border unaware that they had been charged and had a court date in California.
They said they came to Vancouver to relax and to talk to an agent about jump-starting Quaid’s acting career. [VancouverSun]

Which will of course be difficult, considering he and his wife’s scorched-Earth trail of batsh*t nuttiness that began back in 2008 on the set of the play Lone Star Love, when the cast hated them so much, they had him banned from the union and fined $80 grand.  Some highlights from the next two years:

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Like most blue collar Americans, I only get my news from celebrity Twitter feeds, so my life has been revolving around two stories for the past month: 1) Does Kim Kardashian have a crush on Ashton Kutcher? 2) What’s up with that crazy Mel Gibson fella? And while there’s a possibility that Mel’s racist, horrifyingly sexist, and all-around batsh*t rants were part of some grand extortion scheme by his charming ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, Braveheart’s pretty much screwed. But perhaps there’s a better explanation for his apparent insanity…

Gibson recently sat down with novelist Walter Kim for a feature in American Men’s Journal, and that’s crazy enough because Gibson is Australian! But Kim detailed some very unusual behavior by Gibson that included a small case in which he keeps the very secrets to the universe.

Spray some lotion into my palm and give me 4 minutes, Daily Mail:

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