Morning Links: Batman Parody!!!!

Written by Zeke Greenwald / 04.16.13

Patton Oswalt in a Batman Parody |College Humor|

Morning Links

A Recap Of The Best Coachella 2013 Had To Offer |UPROXX|

The Lucky Lady Who Bedded Podrick On ‘Game Of Thrones’ Goes By Pixie Le Knot In Real Life |

Hugh Jackman’s stalker threw an electric shaver full of her pubes at him |Film Drunk|

This Picture Of Adam Scott At The Masters Is Awesome, But Let’s Make It Better |With Leather|

Hop Into The Volcano Suit And Check Out New ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ Video And Pictures |Gamma Squad|

10 Behind-The-Scenes Guys In Music Who Should Stay Behind The Scenes |Smoking Section|

Joe Haden Had a Back to the Future Birthday Cake |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

36 Plot Holes You Never Noticed in Famous Movie Scenes |Cracked|

12 of the Weirdest Things You Can Do for Free Rent on Craigslist |College Humor|

Mad Men Power Rankings |Grantland|

16 onscreen drug trips that don’t go over the top |AV Club|

Some YouTube comments are better than novels |The Chive|

Patton Oswalt Was Born To Play The Penguin |HuffPost Comedy|

The 7 Undeniably Badass Moments Of TV’s Most Useless And Problematic Characters |Pajiba|

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (Entourage Parody) |Clip Nation|

Paid In Full: 2013′s Highest Paid MLB Players |Giant Life|

Six Incredibly Cool Improvised Weapons From Movies |Unreality|

A Former CPA Turned Porn Star Provides Last Minute Tax Tips |Brobible|

True Facts About The Sea Pig |High Definite|

Explosions at Boston Marathon |The Superficial|

Internet Useless in the Face at Human Tragedy |Video Gum|

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Rumor: Christian Bale will return as Batman in Justice League

Written by Vince Mancini / 03.04.13

Chris Nolan writes “GROWLY VOICE” and underlines it three times

The Justice League rumor mill has been working overtime for months now – for years, if you count George Miller’s thankfully-scrapped attempt to bring it to theaters – and with all the problems facing our country and planet, I can think of few things more important than the whens, hows, and whys of Superman broing down with Batman and Mighty Mouse. Last we heard, WB had sh*tcanned Will Beall’s script, which is probably a good thing. A. because it proves that someone actually read it (remember: no one ever reads anything in Hollywood), and B. because Will Beall last wrote Gangster Squad, a film which included the line “I miss that red snatch.”

Which brings us to today. LatinoReview, who have a pretty decent track record breaking comic book scoops, claim that Christopher Nolan, despite saying over and over and over again that producing Man of Steel would be his last involvement in superhero movies, has “taken over the DC Universe at Warner Bros.”

“Chris Nolan has completely taken over the DC Universe at Warner Bros. So anything having to do with these superheroes goes through him now. [...] He’s going to be involved in Godfathering/producing the movie. While Zack Snyder is also going to be producing, and also, possibly, the director.”

And, according to their story, having Nolan involved, with Justice League happening before a Batman reboot, would mean in turn that Christian Bale would be back as Batman.

Latino Review’s sources tell them that Nolan is shaping Justice League as a team-up between Man of Steel star Henry Cavill and Christian Bale, reprising his role as Batman. As Latino Review’s El Mayimbe puts it, Superman will arrive and find Bruce Wayne somewhere in his peaceful retirement, tell him he’s putting a team together, and get all the new action started. [CinemaBlend]

Ooh, the old “I’m puttin’ a team together!” I hope it includes a “gettin’ dressed” montage a la Gordy Gekko in Wall Street 2, where Superman pulls on his big red boots and straightens his codpiece. Anyway, I don’t doubt LatinoReview’s scoop insomuch that I’m sure Warner wants all this to happen, it just seems like there are a lot of ifs and scheduling issues to work out. For one thing, this plan assumes that Man of Steel will be a billion-dollar franchise, which is certainly possible. But it didn’t quite work out that way with Superman Returns, and that came out when Bryan Singer was arguably a lot hotter than Zack Snyder is now. And Chris Nolan just seems too… British… to want to do another comic book movie. But hey, if JJ Abrams can direct both Star Trek and Star Wars, why can’t Chris Nolan handle every non-Marvel superhero movie? Eventually we’re just going to have six directors doing all the blockbusters.

Chris Nolan is certainly talented, and better than 95 percent of the alternatives. but his “gritty” approach to Batman started to annoy me about halfway through TDKR. His style seemed to get grittier even as the story stayed just as silly as any non-Nolan comic book movie. Maybe that effect won’t be as pronounced with him just producing? I don’t know. Look, I’m just excited to see Superman and Batman party down with Antman and Mothra and Silent Bob and the whole Justice League gang down at the Peach Pit. That Skeletor doesn’t stand a chance. Read the rest of this entry »

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More ‘Justice League’ Rumors: It Could Be 6 Years Before We See Batman Again

Written by Ashley Burns / 02.15.13

“Damn you… *hic*… Chris Nolan.”

Last we checked in on the perpetually-crumbling Justice League film, writer Will Beall’s first script was allegedly locked in the deepest, darkest cell of Arkham Asylum, never to be seen again. Almost everything about this seemingly doomed DC and Warner Bros. answer to Marvel’s The Avengers has been bad news, and now the rumor mill would have us believe that this cinematic kryptonite is poisoning the Batman franchise as well.

After the Beall script news hit the Intertubes, another report suggested that Warner just wanted to wait to see how Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel performs this summer before moving ahead with Justice League’s targeted release date of 2015, which of course coincides with the Avengers sequel. The only problem with that, suggests one questionable-but-intense source, is that it leaves Bruce Wayne trapped in silver screen limbo.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming: Paranormal Activity At Hotel Transylvania

Written by Morton Salt / 01.29.13

Silent dog farts are THE WORST.

If you’ve read the headline, you know this week sees the DVD releases of both Hotel Transylvania as well as the latest Paranormal Activity flick, Paranormal Activity 4.  If you recognize the banner image, you also know that Seven Psychopaths hits DVD today as well.  Good for you.  Of course, there’s plenty of other flicks to talk about: there’s films with Bruce Willis and Tim Roth, and films about superheroes both well-known and unknown.  We’ve got films about ghosts and hitmen and terrorists and vampires, and even one about a little girl with the power to heal through touch.  All that and still more ghosts and vampires.  What an exciting week for DVD.

The DVDs:
Seven Psychopaths
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 2
Hotel Transylvania
Paranormal Activity 4
The Cold Light Of Day
The Awakening
The Liability
All Superheroes Must Die
Hello I Must Be Going
Noobz
Heaven’s Door
Cherry Tree Lane
Citadel
The Rule Of Law
The Right To Bear Arms
Brides Of Sodom

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Really like Bruce Willis, but don’t know which flick he’s in?  Continue reading to find out.  Can’t figure out which movies involve superheroes?  You know the drill: continue reading and you’ll get your answers. If you really aren’t all that curious about any of these flicks, feel free to click the link above and jump straight to this week’s Netflix suggestions, but really, how could you not be curious about Brides Of Sodom? Read the rest of this entry »

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The Justice League Movie Has Its Lineup (what, no Hawkman?!)

Written by Ashley Burns / 01.25.13

Not so fast, metal dude and fish boy.

The other day we talked about how Marvel Studios was possibly going to screw the pooch by casting Adam Sandler to voice Rocket the Raccoon in Guardians of the Galaxy, but the good news to take away from that was that at least Marvel was actually casting. On the other hand, it’s another day and another rumor for Justice League, which has a writer, villain and possibly a storyline, but still has no director or cast. Oh, and it has a targeted release for the summer of 2015 to nut up to the Avengers sequel, so you could say that this movie is an absolute mess right now.

But DC and Warner Brothers work in baby steps, because they supposedly have the main heroes finally picked out. According to the comic movie scoops at Latino Review, 2015 is going to be a terrible year for Aquaman fans.

Read the rest of this entry »

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