My DC comic book knowledge is pretty limited, so please forgive my ignorance, but apparently the new animated Batman films, The Dark Knight Returns Pt. 1 and 2, are putting a new twist on the old storyline of Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson/Jason Todd/Tim Drake. That twist? Robin’s got some boobs now.

Returns is based on Frank Miller’s four-part series from 1986, which features the newest Robin as a 13-year old girl who helps a 55-year old Batman save Gotham from all the same-old-same-olds and you-know-who’s.

One of the most influential comics of all time, the Dark Knight Returns is set in a near future where Batman is retired and Gotham City has slid into a dystopian state ruled by a gang of hooligans called The Mutants. The 55-year old Bruce Wayne is forced to don the cape once more, this time partnering with a female Robin to not only stop the Joker but keep the peace when the city falls into chaos after being hit by an electromagnetic pulse. (Via the Hollywood Reporter, which also revealed some exclusive images)

As for the animated actors and roles, Batman is voiced by Peter “RoboCop” Weller and his new tween sidekick will be voiced by Modern Family’s Ariel Winter.

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The rain on Bane falls mainly on the... something

At this point, I’ve pretty much run out of things to say about The Dark Knight Rises. But Batman shits pageviews, and I need the money to buy more bejeweled cat calendars, so here they are, three new posters of Batman, Bane, and Catwoman in rain, and three in snow. Strangely, there are none of them in neither sleet nor hail, paving the way for a new character to destroy them all, The Mailman! I guess. Yeah, just pretend I said something interesting here.

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There’s a new batch of Dark Knight Rises images online today, courtesy of TotalFilm. I think it was commenter Gripster who first pointed it out, but now it’s pretty much unavoidable noticing how much Bane’s mask looks like sideways goatse. Here’s the most SFW way I could illustrate it:

No wonder his voice was so muffled. Check out a couple more pictures on the following pages.

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(UPDATE: Sorry, no more pictures, we’ve been lawyer-f*cked. But you can still click-through and imagine what was there).

Following their semi-disastrous Hobbit presentation yesterday, Warner Bros released these new promo stills (via the SuperHeroHype forums) from The Dark Knight Rises, which opens July 20th (and which I have in our Fantasy Summer Box Office Game – HA!). In case Bane didn’t already look enough like a mumbly date rapist, now you can see that his pits are shaved. Also, I realize they probably wanted to fill the frame, but no one fights like that, at least no one outside of a stage production of Peter Pan. It looks like they’re playing crotch tag.

(couple more pictures on the following pages)

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