If there was ever any doubt that Bam Margera was the least likable of the Jackass crew (a generally pretty likable crew, otherwise), let his latest music video buttsquirt that doubt or whatever. Set in Iceland with a naked dancing Icelandic stripper (I assume), Bam raps about how he wants to bend his dick to his ass (“so I could f*ck myself”) over some awful dub-step wub-wubbage. Uh, okay. He wears his usual collection of obnoxious clothes and pees in his own mouth like a monkey, high level satire. As always, his whole “I don’t even care, bro, I’ll make a music video about f*cking my own butt where I pee in my mouth because I don’t care so hard” attitude is undercut by the fact that he’s wearing about 26 different articles of clothing. Astronauts could get dressed faster. Is that a big part of his obnoxiousness, or is it everything else? And serious question, is this the worst song ever recorded?

Read the rest of this entry »

Jackass‘s Ryan Dunn died in a car wreck Monday, and as you’ve no doubt heard by now, yesterday Roger Ebert controversially tweeted (ridiculous as that phrase sounds, it’s accurate), “Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive.”  There was the predictable outcry, notably from Dunn’s high school friend Bam Margera (who overreacted, as might be expected of a guy who just lost a friend and who frequently wears eyeliner), culminating in Ebert’s Facebook page getting shut down due to complaints from Bam fans (it’s since been restored). I didn’t cover this right away, probably because I’m the last person in the world to shout “too soon” or complain about insensitive humor (in fact, “inappropriate” is my least favorite word in the English language, solely for the number of times I’ve been bludgeoned with it by the humorless).  But something about hearing Ebert defend what he said as if he wasn’t joking at all, as if he was actually just trying to turn this event into a learning moment like some kind of male Oprah, just rubs me the wrong way.

“What did I mean by that? I meant exactly what I wrote. I wasn’t calling Ryan Dunn a jackass. In Twitter shorthand, I was referring to his association with “Jackass.” I thought that was clear. I note that Bam Margera uses the word “jackass” in the same way in his tweet. [Tuesday p.m.note: Of course there was a double meaning. I was implying that someone who drinks and drives is a jackass. Just as I was when I was drinking.]“

Read the rest of this entry »

Jackass is one of those things you either like or you don’t.  I have the brain of a 13 year old, so naturally Jackass 2 was the most fun I’ve had in a theater since I learned that trick with the popcorn container.  Not much is known about the project at this point, but Paramount recently released its list of titles for 2010, and one of them is Jackass 3-D.  A third Jackass wouldn’t be a huge surprise, since the cast has dropped hints about doing more Jackass in various interviews, but… 3-D?  Wouldn’t that require a big, expensive camera rig that’d make a lot of the Jackass stunts impossible?  I guess it depends on the type of stunts.  But until we hear more, I’m just going to assume 3-D isn’t a dimension, but rather the number of D’s you should expect to see.  Then when they release the extended DVD cut, it can be called Jackass 3——D

Then there’ll be Jackass 3====D  ~~~~ (+) (+)   and Jackass 3====D ~~~~ (|) Hey, which one of you fags wants to pull my finger?

[via CHUD, Cinematical]

Back in September, I reported that Jackass 2.5 (64 minutes of stunts that aren’t in Jackass 2 or the upcoming Jackass 3) would be out in time for Christmas, but now the word is that it’s not going to be a DVD, rather, they’ll be releasing it for free on the internet.

The film will be online, free of charge courtesy of Blockbuster Video, for two weeks starting December 19th of this year. You can view the film at blockbuster.jackassworld.com. Then the movie moves to DVD and iTunes, as "part of a light-speed reinvention of the customary distribution-window chain. The domestic release strategy also will be replicated internationally in early 2008, but with different distribution partners. [Cinematical]

I can’t imagine Chris Pontius is too happy about this.  As my mother always taught me, chugging horse semen is sometimes acceptable, but you always charge.

Anyone picking Preston Lacy in the death pool?  God he’s fat. 

The Jackass gang is currently shooting segments for Jackass 2.5, which will be coming out on DVD in time for Christmas.  It just wouldn't be Jesus' birthday without someone chugging horse semen. I could probably have watched two hours of just the Spike-Jonze-dressed-as-an-old-lady segment, so pretty much any extra footage news is good news to me.

On a sidenote, the Margeras have become basically a bad Charlie Brown parody.  "Gee, Bam, I know you've made a career out of playing tricks on me, but sure, I'll kick the football.  I mean, why not, right?  After all, it's a football.  *slip* You're incorrigible!"  That's what you get for naming your kid "Bam".  You name your kid Bam and it pretty much guarantees he's not going to be a physicist.  Which is sad, because how much easier would history be for stupid kids if the guy who invented the atom bomb's name was "Bam"?

In conclusion, onomatopoeia.