I give New Zealand a lot of grief for being the world’s most far-flung Lord of the Rings gift shop, and for choosing their prime minister via sack race, but one thing New Zealand does do right is to ban parents from giving their kids stupid names. Just think how many future wedgies could be prevented if we kept our kids from being named Pilot, or Jackson with a Y. In New Zealand, Kiwis have to run their names by the government first (which, to be fair, consists of Minister Johno Reed drinking a pint outside the midwifery shed), and sometimes the government says “sorry, try again.” CNN (via CinemaBlend) recently released a list of the names the government wouldn’t allow, compiled below for your viewing pleasure.

(The numbers next to the names refer to how many times the name came up):

Justice:62
King:31
Princess:28
Prince:27
Royal:25
Duke:10
Major:9
Bishop:9
Majesty:7
J:6
Lucifer:6
using brackets around middle names:4
Knight:4
Lady:3
using back slash between names:8
Judge:3
Royale:2
Messiah:2
T:2
I:2
Queen:2
II:2
Sir:2
III:2
Jr:2
E:2
V:2
Justus:2
Master:2
Constable:1
Queen Victoria:1
Regal:1
Emperor:1
Christ:1
Juztice:1
3rd:1
C J :1
G:1
Roman numerals III:1
General:1
Saint:1
Lord:1
. (full stop):1
89:1
Eminence:1
M:1
VI:1
Mafia No Fear:1
2nd:1
Majesti:1
Rogue:1
4real:1
* (star symbol):1
5th:1
S P:1
C:1
Sargent:1
Honour:1
D:1
Minister:1
MJ:1
Chief:1
Mr:1
V8:1
President:1
MC:1
Anal:1
A.J:1
Baron:1
L B:1
H-Q:1
Queen V:1

I admit, I kind of like “President.” Prez for short. I can see it. I’m torn between that and “V8 Anal Mancini” for my firstborn.

For comparison, I’m also including a list of names a mommy blogger in Utah named McKinli Hatch considered for her daughter before eventually settling on “Lakynn.”

Read the rest of this entry »

“You named your kid what?”

Last time I wrote about the fad of naming babies after characters from TV shows, movies or books, I caught some serious hell from people who had indeed chosen their kids’ names that way. Specifically from the Game of Thrones faction. But as someone who was named after a movie character – albeit one with an ordinary name – my stance on this practice remains strong, in that I really suggest that people not do it, for the sake of their child’s self-esteem and such. Wedgies hurt, people.

That said, this year’s most popular names aren’t in yet, but that isn’t stopping the fine folks at Nameberry from taking on the “Most Outrageous Baby Names of 2012”, with the big winner going to “Blue”, as in Blue Ivey Carter, the daughter of Jay Z and Beyonce. Apparently colors were a big naming influence this year, and get ready to choke yourself with a tie.

Blue: The year was bookended by Blue, the name and color of 2012. January saw the much-anticipated birth of Blue Ivy, the daughter of Beyonce and Jay-Z, who quickly moved to trademark their child’s singular name. And 2012 culminated in the reelection of Democratic President Obama and a political swing toward the blue. Other color names on the rise include Silver, as in political prognosticator Nate, Scarlett, Violet, and Grey, as in erotic hit “50 Shades.”

That’s right, couples are naming their newborn boys after Christian Grey from the best-selling erotic bondage novel, Fifty Shades of Grey. I really look forward to the day this conversation happens…

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s hardly a surprise anymore that every year’s list of most popular names reflects heavily upon what’s hot in TV, film, and general pop culture. For instance, I can’t wait to see how many Bellas show up on Maury Jr. in 14 years to take blood tests to determine which Edward is the father of their daughter, Renesmee. And in another 16 years, they’ll be joined by this year’s crop of most popular baby names that are… just terrible, people.

Thankfully, Twilight is out of the picture now, but The Hunger Games and, surprisingly, Game of Thrones are the hot new name sources, which isn’t any better. Babies should not be named after medieval fantasy literature or apocalyptic science fiction. You will never see a president or quarterback named Peeta or Haymitch, dammit.

After the jump, check out this year’s hot names and their sources, and then call your parents and thank them for naming you Todd or Rebecca, instead of Galaxus or Spoogesock.

Read the rest of this entry »