“You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. LOL, just kidding, girl, everyone likes me always.”

Only God Forgives stars Ryan Gosling, re-teamed with his Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn, and the last trailer I posted showed Baby Goose running around Thailand looking forlorn, challenging guys to fight and dragging an Asian dude around by the roof of his mouth (not very realistic as a fighting strategy, but a hell of an image). Needless to say, I’m already tumescent, to quite tumescent for this film, and watching any additional footage could cause me to literally rupture a boner vein. Nonetheless, for those of you who’ve been living in some kind of shame igloo built from blocks of your own willful ignorance, here’s two new trailers. You’ve got a lot of growing up to do, man, seriously.

Read the rest of this entry »

We talk about Ryan Gosling being a sweet boy so often that people probably just think it’s all a big joke. But you can’t ignore the fact that directors who work with him always seem to want to work with him again. There was Derek Cianfrance in Blue Valentine and again for his very next movie in Place Beyond the Pines, and now there’s Nicolas Winding Refn going back-to-back Baby Goose in Drive and now Only God Forgives. I like to imagine these directors work with him, and then Baby Goose goes home and the directors get all sad and lonely, so they secretly take the shirt he wore home from wardrobe and sleep with it, and then they dream about him all night and wake up with the room smelling like butter and maple syrup. It’s Baby Goose magic. He’s like Santa Claus, only cuter.

Only God Forgives is set in Thailand, but other than that it seems to follow the basic Drive formula: brutal violence mixed with Baby Goose looking like a forlorn puppy, and a heavy dose of bleakness offset with sweet and oddly well-matched music. It’s funny, if I try to explain Drive, it mostly sounds like a pretentious hunk of shit – mostly plotless, hardly any dialog, characters that are all weird and broken, wildly implausible crime scenes – and yet the way the scenes are put together, I’m on the edge of my seat giggling and can’t wait for the next one. I don’t know how Refn does it. The possibility for intense, brutal violence mixed with an odd mood and pleasant pacing shouldn’t be that compelling on its own, but damn if it isn’t. Opens July 19th.

Read the rest of this entry »

Ryan Gosling has always been a human cup of hot cocoa, so it only follows that his beautiful Baby Goose face would be the perfect adornment to a cocoa mug (much the same way Matthew McConaughey should be on tubes of KY). Unfortunately, this special edition Tim Horton’s mug is the only one made. The lucky guy or gal who gets to take a steaming sip of Gosling? Baby Goose himself, as it turns out.

It all started with an interview with Tribute.ca in which Baby Goose said he hoped Gangster Squad would finally be the movie that got his face on a commemorative fast-food cup (stupid Blue Valentine and their lazy tie-in department really whiffed on that one).

“I thought I might get a cup out of this deal,” said Gosling. The interviewer suggested the coffee-and-doughnuts chain would be a good fit. [Grubstreet]

It makes sense that that’s what attracted him to the project, it certainly wasn’t the script. From there, a Buffalo.com writer suggested a mug (a “Gosling Goblet”) to Tim Horton’s, and, being Canadian, Tim Horton’s came through with the above mug, gifted to Gosling. “Sure we’ll do it, eh,” Tim Horton III probably said. “But not for money, though, yeah? There’s nothing worth owning in life that you can’t suck from trees or shoot in the forest, I always say.”

The best part of drinking coffee out of a Baby Goose mug? It’s self-sweetening. The worst part is that it turns water into hummingbird feed. He’s that sweet. If more people drank out of Baby Goose coffee mugs, there’d be no war.
Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s James Franco lip-synching to a Justin Bieber song with Ashley Benson (yowza!) to flash light. For… art? Yeah, it’s probably performance art. Man. It’s a lot easier to not hate Justin Bieber when you haven’t heard his music. That’s what it sounds like? Good God. That’s like Twilight for your ears. [via HuffPo]

MORNING LINKS
Steven Seagal owns a bullet-proof kimono. This is not a joke. |Film Drunk|

2013 Will Usher In Important Anniversaries For 20 Great Albums |UPROXX|

Baby Goose is known to do a portrait of himself for his adoring fans. [via Videogum]

Hardcore Porn Played Behind A Swedish TV News Broadcast For 10 Minutes |Warming Glow|

Brazilian Hookers Are Learning English For The 2014 World Cup Tournament |With Leather|

So We Officially Have Video Of The Giant Squid In Its Natural Habitat |Gamma Squad|

10 Naughty By Nature Songs Everyone Should Know |Smoking Section|

Gruden Talk: Jon Discusses Marijuana Legalization With NORML’s Dr. Dale Gieringer |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Everyone Wants To Bang Katherine Webb |The Superficial|

29 Poor Excuses For Celebrity Websites |Buzzfeed|

4 Rejected ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ Posters |NextMovie|

Whole Lotta Helter Skelter |Clip Nation|

5 Fictional Ways to Go Fast in Space |Mental Floss|

Honest Trailers: ‘Inception’ |Screen Junkies|

Tarantino Infographic Breaks Down the N-Bombs |Film.com|

Why It’s Hard To Write A Sequel |Unreality|

Justin Bieber Blamed the Black Guy |IDLYITW|

5 Beloved TV Backsides Sloppier Than Lena Dunham’s |Pajiba|

This is what the waiting room to hell sounds like |Fark|

Guess Who Paulina Gretzky Is Reportedly Dating? |Brobible|

NOMINATE for Comments of the Week. FOLLOW Vince on Twitter.
FAN US on Facebook. SUBSCRIBE to the Frotcast.

Terrence Malick’s untitled project has been causing quite a stir in Texas, where it is being filmed, as stars Natalie Portman and Michael Fassbender already showed up at a recent Texas Longhorns game, inducing one of the world’s largest collective orgasms on record. But as I previously pointed out, the folks at Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium were spared exposure to the film’s entire sexy cast, as it also stars Ryan Gosling.

Apparently the stars of this film are traveling under a rule of 2/3 because Gosling and Fassbender showed up at the Spooky Skedaddle 5K on Saturday at the Texas School for the Deaf sans Portman, which caused all the boys to sign, “What the hell?” The event, which sounds like it was named by Gosling, raises money for the foundation’s “Language for All” campaign, and thanks to the presence of Baby Goose and Michael F. Assbender, this year’s event raised $22,000, due to some clever advertising by the school’s staff.

Read the rest of this entry »