The winner of last year’s AVN Award for “Clever Title” was “Beggin for a Peggin,” a romantic tale of ladies taking their male co-stars from behind with strap-ons. (Did you know that’s what “pegging” meant? I did.) I personally thought “I Want You to Make My Mouth Pregnant” was robbed, but when it comes to the clever title award, really, everyone’s a winner. This year’s list of nominees, as you can see above, includes:

Clever Title of the Year
Asphyxia Heels the World, BurningAngel/Vouyer
Brooklyn Egg Cream on the Roxxx, Seymore Butts/Pure Play
Chocolate Covered Crackers, Black Magic Pictures
Chocolate Yam Yams, Black Storm/Monarchy/Vantage
Does This Dick Make My Ass Look Big?, Vouyer Media
Look Mom, My First Black Penis, Mike Hunt/Juicy
My Wife Caught Me Assf*cking Her Mother, Devil’s Film
Nice Shoes, Wanna F*ck?, Electric/Hustler
Occupy My Ass, Bobbi Starr/Evil Angel
She Plays a Mean Rusty Trombone!, Lethal Hardcore/Pulse
Show Me Your Sh*thole, B. Pumper/Freaky Empire
Somebody Shave Me, Zero Tolerance Entertainment
The Spit and the Speculum, Mike Adriano/Evil Angel
Subtle Fragrance of Her Private Parts, Swank/Pure Play
We Vow to Bang Black Beotches, Kelly Madison/Juicy

Now, if I was being a homer, I’d be rooting for “Brooklyn Egg Cream on the Roxxx,” which was actually first announced on FilmDrunk’s very own podcast by Seymore Butts, one of our favorite guests (these are the kinds of announcements you get to break when you name your show after a sex act). But if I’m honest, I think I’m a little more partial to “The Spit and the Speculum” (cos it’s literary, like), or “Show Me Your Sh*thole,” which finds beauty in blunt directness, a la Hemingway. (Not to mention, it stars the guy who once wrote a rap song about making Laurence Fishburne’s daughter queef).

However, neither would be declared a winner that day. Instead, the honor went to…

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[Photo courtesy of XOJane. Check out their AVN coverage here]

On one of our more popular Frotcasts, we ambushed Rocco Reed and Chanel Preston, the stars of Romeo and Juliet XXX, with our lengthy lists of possible Shakespearian porno titles, such as “Ass, You Like It,” and “Much Ado about Nutting.” They seemed… mildly amused, kinda. But the AVN Awards, infamous for doling out buckets of awards for just about everything, has one award in particular that seemed tailor-made for People Like Us: the Clever Title of the Year Award.

In my mind, “I Want You to Make My Mouth Pregnant” is the clear leader, though “Roll Me a Fatty” is a nice visual (hard to do with a double entendre!). I’m also drawn to Montana Fishburne’s ex-lover B. Pumper’s film “Sweaty College Girl Butt Stinky Panties.” You can read that ten times and interpret it differently each time. I mean, is it a college girl who’s stinky, or is “Sweaty College Girl Butt” all one phrase, and it refers only to the butt that’s sweaty? Or maybe it’s a story about GirlButt StinkyPanties, a student at Sweaty College. The possibilities are nearly endless. That’s the beauty of a good title, it opens doors, it doesn’t close them. A title should be like your mom’s legs.

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Tori Black presents at the 2011 AVN Awards with Jenna Jameson.

By all accounts, 2011 was a hell of a successful year for adult film actress Tori Black. She kicked off last year by winning the AVN Award for Female Performer of the Year and then closed out 2011 by having her first child. Unfortunately, 2012 is going in the opposite direction as Black (real name: Michelle Chapman) and her child’s father, Lyndell Anderson, were arrested and booked in Las Vegas last Friday night for domestic battery at their hotel.

The fight apparently escalated when Anderson told Black that they didn’t have enough bottled breast milk left to feed their 5-month old son, and it’s totally understandable because I always lose my sh*t when I don’t have breast milk.

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