Since I know you guys have barely heard anything about this project, here’s a new featurette for James Cameron’s Avatar. A couple thoughts: first, as much as I want to see it, I can’t stop thinking about this comment about it from the other week:
“Good news, we can fly you to an alien planet and graft your DNA with that of an alien, follow that up with a mind-meld thingy, thereby allowing you to infiltrate their species and take them out.”
“And what about my paralysis? How’s that coming?”
“We’re not miracle workers, dude.”
Kind of a big ol’ turd in the Avatar punch bowl when you think about it. Also, who decided it was a good idea to put Michelle Rodriguez in this? She’s impossible to take seriously. She’s like a female Billy Zane. Except hardcore and Latin (a chill just ran down my spine from imagining a hardcore, Latin Billy Zane). And lastly, I don’t think I ever noticed this before, but the material the humans are supposed to be mining is called “unobtainium.” Seriously. It’s said to be found only on Pandora and in Diora Baird’s panties.
UPDATE on ‘unobtainium’: Read the rest of this entry »
My copy of this month’s Playboy hasn’t arrived yet, probably because my mailman is Puerto Rican and everyone knows those people steal. Or I don’t know, maybe he’s just taking a nap. What am I, his parole officer? Anyway, there’s an interview with James Cameron in it, and it sounds like he’s his usual, curmudgeonly self.
“I made Titanic because I wanted to dive to a shipwreck, not because I particularly wanted to make the movie…Titanic was about ‘f*ck you’ money,” he said. And on Kate Winslet almost dying while filming: “We simply let Kate think she was nearly drowning. A little sputtering and coughing does not count in my book, because I have almost drowned several times…Anybody who signs on [with me] is going to be tested.”
On his 25th high school reunion: “If you ever go to a 25th high school reunion, make sure that in the previous two months you’ve made the world’s highest-grossing movie, won 11 Academy Awards and become physically bigger than most of those guys who used to beat you up. I walked up to them one by one and said, ‘You know, I could take your ass right now, and I’m tempted, but I won’t.’ Actually, they were all nice guys except for one who was still big and mean. I left him alone.” [Cinematical]
Cameron later went on to clarify that The Abyss was more about ‘love me, daddy’ money, while True Lies was ‘you think you’re better’n me’ money, and if all goes well, Avatar will make piles of ‘is it in yet’ money.
Everyone knows that when James Cameron’s Avatar opens next month, it will fundamentally alter the fabric of reality as we know it. What most people don’t know is that Hindus are pissed about it:
The Universal Society of Hinduism and its president Rajan Zed are demanding Cameron put a disclaimer before and after the new 3-D flick saying it has diddly squat to do with the Hindu religion and its concepts … and the title is just a coincidence.
The concept of “avatar” — commonly known as incarnation — is a central theme in Hinduism and prominent Hindus are worried the movie will completely botch it if Cameron doesn’t bother to explain himself.
Ironically Cameron’s film will reportedly be the biggest ever Hollywood release in India. [TMZ]
Hate to break this to you, Rajan, but there are probably three or four other things people think of before Hinduism when they hear the word “avatar,” so you’re certainly right about the coincidence part. But as long as the Hindus are trying to send a message to James Cameron, I think a severed elephant head in his bed would do the trick. In related news, diddly squats are Roman Polanski’s favorite exercise.
There’s been a lot of stuff written about Avatar’s budget this week. The New York Times made the eyebrow-raising assertion that the budget was $500 million when you factor in marketing. Then David Poland said it wasn’t, and CHUD said it was again, and I decided that’s a lot of reading for something no one knows for sure that I don’t care that much about. Kind of like religion.
But then I found this new Avatar ad created especially for Nickelodeon. It clearly tries to sell the film more as a family adventure (like, say, Fern Gully…) than the game-changing science fiction revolution which will change Coke to Pepsi, find your car keys, and make God look like a child pornographer that it is. And that voice over… isn’t that Don LaFontaine? He died in 2008, but that voice is either him or someone doing a very good impression of him. I don’t want to jump to conclusions here, but I think it’s pretty clear that Avatar is so good that it brought Don LaFontaine back to life. James Cameron is truly a visionary.
After the jump I’ve got a brand new featurette from Avatar in HD showing a bunch of new footage, along with a bunch of screencaps I’ve helpfully taken so that you don’t have to watch it. I want to praise this movie, I really do, only I can’t get a word in because everyone involved is too busy praising it themselves. Here are some of the best, totally-not-hyperbolic statements from the video:
“He’s taking you on a journey, and it’s just beyond words.”
“We were creating an entire world from scratch.”
“It just doesn’t have a precedent.”
“One thing I’m always going to take with me from this is that I was a part of a revolutionary experience.” [*puts on Che shirt* Righteous, man, righteous. *smokes clove*]
“We’re always trying to push the envelope. This time we were trying to push the envelope, and it pushed back. And then we pushed harder. And it took a long time.” [Push harder! I think I see the head!]
“It doesn’t look like anything you’ve seen before.” [*cough* Ferngully! *cough, cough* Also - it' amazing that the aliens wear baseball caps and have beads in their hair. I've never seen anything like it.]
“It’s not just a movie, it’s a universe.”
Of course it is. You guys created a whole universe. When you think about it, you’re better than God. Because God’s boring old universe didn’t have neon cat people, did it. Hey, you guys wanna see my impression of everyone involved with Avatar?
