To recap, a year ago today, David Carradine was found dead in his hotel room in Bangkok.  At the time, he was wearing a wig and fishnet stockings and had a rope tied around his neck with another tied around his genitals, with the two ropes tied together.  An independent forensics expert later ruled out suicide (which is strange, because most suicide attempters I know dress in women’s clothes and tie ropes around their d-cks first).  Later, his family’s lawyer raised the possibility of “kung fu assassins working in the martial arts underworld.”  Ahh yes, the ol’ whack-off ninja theory. They killed Kennedy, I read somewhere.

Which brings us to today.  Now Carradine’s wife is filing a lawsuit against the production company of his last movie.  Because clearly, when whack-off ninjas attack, it’s the production company that’s to blame.

According to the suit, obtained by TMZ, on the night David died he was supposed to have dinner with the director of the movie he was shooting — “Stretch.” [hee hee! -Ed.] The suit claims the production company assigned an assistant to David who was responsible for his schedule and transportation. 

Before the dinner, the assistant called David but he didn’t answer. The assistant then left for dinner without David.  An hour later, David reached the assistant but was told “they were already across town and David Carradine would have to make his own arrangements that evening.”

David was found naked in a closet in his hotel room, where he died from auto-erotic asphyxiation.  

The bottom line — the suit claims David — who was only in Bangkok for 3 days — would not have died had the production company fulfilled its obligations and followed industry standards in caring for its star. [TMZ]

She’s right.  That PA never should’ve gone to get dinner.  He should never have addressed his own hunger or need for lodging while he was waiting on a big star like David Carradine to call him back.  Without his incompetence, none of this would’ve happened — the wig, the lingerie, the autoerotic asphyxiation ninja attack; none of it.  He may not have directly caused all these things, but as the old saying goes, sometimes you don’t have to hang a man, you just give him enough rope to hang himself and tie the noose around his c*ck while he jerks off with a wig on in a Thai hotel.

This is the latest trailer for World’s Greatest Dad, written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait and starring Robin Williams.  It made the festival rounds to pretty good reviews earlier this year and will get a theatrical release beginning August 21st. If you don’t want to wait that long, it’ll also be available on On Demand starting this week.

When his son dies in the throes of autoerotic asphyxiation, dad (Williams) makes it look like a suicide and proceeds to use it to launch his own writing career. [Cinematical]

Robin Williams is at his best when he isn’t overtly trying to be funny, and in light of David Carradine’s death, the autoerotic asphyxiation plot seems practically choked from the headlines.  I mean, most directors would STRANGLE themselves for a STROKE of luck like that.  Anyway, I hope to see this and get a review up some time in the next couple weeks, if I’m not too busy choking myself while I masturbate.

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World’s Greatest Dad was written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait and stars Robin Williams, so you’re probably not going to believe me when I say this, but it looks awesome.  The (red-band) trailer begins with a girl reading a haiku about her period, continues with scheisse porn references, and without giving too much away, the plot supposedly involves an auto-erotic asphyxiation accident. I’d been hoping I’d get to re-use that tag.  Now, I know there are people out there who will try to tell you clean comedy is somehow more impressive or better than that which deals with sex or bodily functions, but I’m here to tell you that those people eat farts and have ambiguous genitals.

(I’m including a couple more copies of the same trailer below, in case the YouTube version gets taken down).

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It shouldn’t take an expert to tell you a guy wearing a wig, fishnets, and a rope tied around his junk didn’t kill himself, but it’s still nice to hear.

The independent forensics expert who examined David Carradine’s body says the actor didn’t commit suicide, and Carradine’s brothers are asking for understanding as Thai authorities investigate.
The family also released a statement from Dr. Michael Baden, who said Carradine’s death wasn’t a suicide. He said further information from Thailand is needed for a final determination.
Keith and Robert Carradine say they’re grateful for the outpouring of support during what they call a “profoundly painful time.” In a statement read Thursday in Los Angeles, they also thanked U.S. and Thai authorities for their work. [AP]

By understanding, I’m guessing they mean the opposite of sending me pictures like this (tisk, tisk, you guys).  It’s hard to tell from these early reports if the examiner’s determination of “not suicide” also extends to “not an autoerotic asphyxiation accident”.  As I’ve previously speculated, based on the idea that people don’t usually dress up to jerk off, it seems more likely that it was an accident, and someone else may have been doing the choking.  But either way, “I came so hard I died” doesn’t seem like the worst way to go.

(They may have to bring in Oscar De La Hoya as a Hannibal Lecter-type consultant)

I’m not going to say the David Carradine story just got weirder, because someone’s already mentioned the possibility of ninjas. Let’s just say there’s some new information.  A Thai tabloid published pictures of Carradine’s body, adding some new details to our mental image of this:

The photo shows a body suspended from a bar in a closet, with his hands bound together above his head. Carradine’s genitals were also tied.  But the new sharper image also reveals what appears to be fishnet stockings covering the body. You can also see red women’s lingerie on the bed. And, it appears, Carradine may have been wearing a dark wig. [TMZ]

I can see choking yourself and tying ropes around your junk while you’re jacking off because hey, sometimes you gotta spice things up.  But who gets dressed up to masturbate?  Sounds to me like he had a hooker over, he accidentally overasphyxiated, and when she (or he) noticed he wasn’t breathing she pulled a Farley and got the hell out of there.  Admittedly I’m not a ninja expert, but this doesn’t sound like the work of the ninja.  They tend to kill people quickly and silently, without sticking around to add bizarre details to the crime scene.  You rarely see a group of ninjas standing around going, “Yeah, that’s good – now smear some lipstick on his face, put a carrot up his ass, and make it look like he was drawing a picture of a cow.”