The To-Do List tells a story we’ve all seen before: nerdy kid about to go off to college, wants to lose virginity before the summer’s out to keep from looking like a big loser in front of all the cool kids at college (note to 18-year-olds: in my experience, there are no cool kids at college). The twist this time is that the main character is a GIRL (*Home Alone face slap*), played by Aubrey Plaza, and the film’s set in 1993. By the way, where were all these girls when I was about to go off to college? Probably banging 24-year-olds. Never mind.

Starring Aubrey Plaza, THE TO DO LIST follows the story of Brandy Klark (Plaza), a Type-A, overachiever who comes up with a “to-do list” featuring all the risqué extra-curricular activities she missed out on in high school and wants to complete before college. Rachel Bilson, Bill Hader, Andy Samberg, Scott Porter, Connie Britton, Clark Gregg, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Donald Glover, Johnny Simmons, Sarah Steele and Alia Shawkat co-star in the film. Written and directed by Maggie Carey.

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Roman Coppola is best known for co-writing Wes Anderson’s The Darjeeling Limited and Moonrise Kingdom, and for directing commercials, and his last feature was CQ, back in 2001. Not for nothing, he also has a righteous monobrow. Next year, he returns to features with A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III, which opens February 8th, about a graphic designer who starts going nuts when his girlfriend leaves him. Charlie Sheen plays Charles Swan, Bill Murray his accountant, and Jason Schwartzman his stand-up comic best friend. Today we have a trailer (below), and…  well, it doesn’t make any f*cking sense.

Movie? What movie?  All I saw was a bunch a actors wearin’ costumes.

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Originally titled The Hand Job, Maggie Carey’s since-renamed The To-Do List, due out next Valentine’s Day, is about a high school student played by Aubrey Plaza who decides to get off a lot before going off to college. If the recently released red-band trailer is any indication, her experience will come not from the hands or mind of Donald Glover (NBC comedy BFFs OMGZ), but from the tongue, which will most assuredly be followed by the sort of droll wisecrack we’ve come to expect from Plaza, non-cunnilgus division.

The rest of the cast is made up of a who’s who of Warming Glow-approved TV personalities, including Bill Hader (Carey’s husband), Alia Shawkat, Connie Britton, Scott Porter, Adam Pally, and most importantly, Rachel Bilson ( > Anna). Is there a shot of Bilson dancing in her bra with the door open, which is something attractive older sisters do all the time? You better believe it. Considering the movie takes place in the 1990s, it remains to be seen whether she’s gettin’ jiggy to the Spin Doctors or the Gin Blossoms. Stay tuned. Until then, here’s a GIF.

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FilmDrunk’s 2010 Lifetime Achievement Award winner Christopher Mintz-Plasse and some guy named Scott Porter are the latest actors to hop on board the upcoming indie comedy The Hand Job, which is starting to look like a “Who’s Who” of people you would expect to see attached to an indie comedy. Variety reports that in addition to Vince’s best friend Chris and that Scott dude who probably doesn’t even read FilmDrunk, the Maggie Carey-directed film also stars:

Aubrey Plaza
Alia Shawkat
Mae Whitman
Connie Britton
Dominic Dierkes
D.C. Pierson
Donald Glover
Andy Samberg
Bill Hader

Plaza stars as a nerdy (read: hipster; see also: Juno) high school student who vows to lose her virginity before she heads off to college. And as I wrote that sentence, a million pairs of skinny jeans just got a little bit tighter. Glover will play a lifeguard, which is ironic and therefore a part of the standard indie formula, and Hader will play a stoner. I wish he would play Stefon. Sad Burnsy in a skinny tie.

Variety also reports that the roles of a “gorgeous older sister” and Plaza’s “intimidating father, a conservative judge” have yet to be filled. And I will save them some time and go ahead and scribble Zooey Deschanel’s name in the sister role, and for the dad… Alec Baldwin. Maybe Tim Robbins. Either way, it will be someone who is a famous liberal mocking the conservative role. That will totally show the system. Or not. Whatever.