Seth Meyers tells the story of the “boner ghost” from the MacGruber set at SXSW. The most entertaining part is his spot-on Will Forte impression.  Between this and Tina Fey’s Tracy Morgan from this morning, I’m starting to think SNL should just be an hour of the cast making fun of each other.  “Hurrrr, look at me, I’m Kenan Thompson!” *puts on fat suit, farts* |via Videogum|

At the Movies canceled. I guess this is sad.  I dunno, throughout all the different hosts, I always liked reading the the print reviews more than the show.  Especially Ben Lyons, because he wrote his on one of those dials that you spin around and sometimes it makes a cow sound.  Lyons called the cancellation, “Hearbreaking, homey.”  |InsideMovies|

Tom Cruise to play a rodeo champ. Cruise is set to take the lead in Paper Wings, in which he’d play a rodeo champ opposite Reese Witherspoon, an “up-and-coming country singer.”  Scientists are calling it the most believable casting since the time he played a samurai.   |LATimes|

Mandate pictures moving forward with Diablo Cody movie. Cody calls Young Adult a “serious and f*cked up” story about “a thirtysomething, divorced, young-adult fiction writer in Minneapolis who returns to her hometown to chase the ex-boyfriend, who’s now married with a kid, that got away.”  Then she asked if I liked Thai food and queefed in my face.  |THR|

And from DailyWhat, this Drunk History isn’t new, but it is awesome.

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This video is billed as “the darker side of Siskel & Ebert”, and purports to show their secret, contentious relationship — as you’d expect from any short fat guy/tall skinny guy relationship. But the majority of it is Ebert making catty comments when Siskel (who died in ’99) flubs a line, followed by Siskel trying to slur out a fat joke in response.  Siskel actually seems drunk during a lot of these.  Between that and him giving Ebert crap for giving Full Metal Jacket a thumbs down (!!!), I think me and him could’ve hung out.

Anyway, they may bust each other’s balls, but that’s to be expected. And in almost every clip they’re wearing matching, v-neck sweaters, which, if I’ve learned anything from videos on the internet, means they totally started Frenching as soon as the cameras were off.

[video via Urlesque]

(Pictured: Turtle, Johnny Drama)

Well, folks, our long national nightmare is over.  A year after ABC replaced Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper as hosts of At the Movies with TCM’s Ben Mankiewicz and MC Private School Ben Lyons, they’ve announced that Ben & Ben are out, in favor of A.O. Scott of the New York Times and Michael Phillips of the Chicago Tribune.

Mankiewicz would escape much of the criticism directed at the revamped “At the Movies,” [just as he will in this post - sorry, Mank -Ed.] most of which targeted Lyons, whose inability to articulate his opinions undercut his cinematic knowledge and critical skills.  Too often Lyons sounded as though he were dictating a blurb for an ad, rather than giving serious counsel as to whether a consumer should buy a ticket, rent a DVD or skip a film altogether. [ChicagoTribune]

This is a great decision by ABC, not that I ever watched the show.  And not because I think the only worthy film criticism comes from guys who work at The New York Times and use initials for a first name (pretentious much?). Otherwise I wouldn’t subject you to my own, professional dick-joke-maker such as I am. It’s just that if I am in the mood to hear intelligent film analysis, it’s not going to be from the spiritual cousin of Brett Ratner who likes club DJs and uses phrases like “homey” and “what’s good!!!” every third sentence.  eFilmCritic has a more detailed account of why Ben Lyons was a bad critic (raving about You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, for instance), but for me, him seeming like a tooly douche (or is he a douchey tool? discuss) was enough.  But don’t feel bad, you’ll still be able to see him on Good Morning America and E! News and Nickelodeon, doing whatever it is he does for many years to come, I’m sure.

Am I mean for picking on him?  Probably.  H8r numb3r 1, out.